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Show PER IS CO PlfN THE WORLD! t with Our Office Boy. v s NOBODY WANTS IT, NOW! "My chart it ;tll My own," she Bald ; ' Bf Iip great or stun II, I would not wrd The best of men. I ween." This was at seventeen. Now. at the ag Of forty-three, She B just as sage As she used to be Nor has she firklo gron Her heart is still her own Louisville Times No one hates to pay the profiteer worse than a miser. bald-headed man ran never be a Bolshevik but he might be a socialist. The Russians claim one advance to the proclamation making women stafe property, few women are temped to keep young by the use of lies After steen years' practice, Senator La Follottt Is now ablf to move on a question In sixty minutr? Congressman Sherwood, in demanding demand-ing that General Pershing be jnvesti gated because he did not get killed in battle, is showing little appreciation of the lact that Pershing came back after being Investigated. j Enthusln5m is a gift with collectors. collec-tors. When a woman reaches the age of 37 and Is still unmarried, her confidence confi-dence in the bellel that sho is the only pebble on the beach begins to waver. Nowadays a hen is only a means to an end. The war has had one lasUng bad effect streetcars are now Invariably! traveling about in squads. If we had killed all the men in Ger-many, Ger-many, wo bet the senate would -have brooked no delav in kissing and mak I ing up I Some men hold their breath unlil they become black hands but the So delists ah' how they do strangle on tree speech until thn are Red in the face. The question is now hai pooa did, saving daylight do the coal pile? Everyone will swear that their, butcher bought that SlO.OOo hog which was sold the oilier day. Americans will have revenge on; d'Annunsio for Flume's hissing of the American flag. We ll read no more of his poelr although we never have. I Now ihe railroad engineers want a second Round Table Someone ought to explain to them that one doesn't "run" to a Round Table as often as to a Round House. Socialists scoff at the idea of set ting aside an island in the Philippine-for Philippine-for them. Why should they- It's on the WSJ to China. I Marriage is the bracer a fellow needs to make him a man nol the ceremony his wife Santa Barbara will never go dry. j There's two bars in the town that will i stay there until the name changes Nor our suspicions are aroused every ev-ery time we sec an ocean wae foam. I : Figures prove anything on paper but not on women The fish much feel much safer now, that prohibition has finally pone mm effect. To hear a business man talk when h gets home at night one would think be was conducting a poorhouse. Our wife Is the worst person to take1 ! dictation we ever knew. Women moult their fine feathers! I when their husband's pucket books be-; gin to shed their green leaves, j We can't gei a lining fur out pock-lets pock-lets that will last like the oldlong sreen I they have to be re-lined every week. ' You charge too much admission ti this pier " Rut ihe music, ihe ocean" The musje part is all riht enough, bill I'm paying my hotel man for the i use of the ocean' Judge. Bucking broncos and street cars are j of the same family. One uses stirrups ,with both on one with the feet and on the other with the hands. EASY TEMPTATION! Freddy (who has eaten his apple) ' Let's play Adam nnd Eve, Millie. Millie How do we do that? Freddy You tempt mo to eat our1 apple, and I give way. Edinburg Scotsman. It worries us to think that maybe the profiteers will be the only ones who can pay the war tax into heaven. |