Ogden Daily Standard | 1914-10-31 | Page 22 | Wise and Otherwise

WISE AND OTHERWISE. 1 Pride goeth before a crawl. m Having two wives is bigamy, ha ing a dozen is "pigamy." li' "Is this dress a good fit, John?" "Fit? Why, it's a perfect convulsion." I Women wouldn't be so scared of j,- mice if they were as dangerous as men. a m "Your neighbor's lawn looks better than yours." "It ought to, he's had - B my lawn mower over there for a k j month." m "Our new neighbor has wads oTr money " "How dn vou know7" "He smokes five cent cigars and don't care; I who knows it." 1 "How would you like to have death! staring you in the face?" "Humph, did you ever come home late and ; 4 loaded and have your wife stare at "There is a quantity of sulphur hv 1. , every human body." "Not much, though," "What makes you thinld 1 so?" Why, it takes two to make ar& match." ) ; "I understand Finniman died wiffli L a joke on his lips." "Nothing of th sort, he ate a rarebit and " "Oh, I see, di-g?sting? Merely a phonetic mistake," They both married blondes. Latef" each was divorced and married the, L other's wife. "A fair exchange is no j rnhbrv." thev said For they bothi K . . married blondes "Why don't you speak to that hand- I Vhii, some young man he evidently knows !.jvl "W you, for he called you by name." "Speak to him7 Why, the idea, I -.Hoos n' was only engaged to him a month an last summer." , In ftnths "Arc you well enough acquainted Uie gjrA with your new neighbor to speak?" 'tn h inqui red Smythe of his wife. ' J "Only for an hour or so. we realty j haven't got to know each other well I. ft towr yet," replied his truthful wiit.