Show UNCLE BY IN NEW YORK CITY ag I 1 may have told you I 1 was born in the country but when a young man I 1 made a trip to ney york city on the train on bouto an old maid from kalamazoo alch swallowed a fly tho fay tickled alko siev and the shy old maid got real devilish every time the fly felt of her bellu vla with alk feet or blundered head first aa a fly always does her epiglottis sho tittered like a steam calliope irritated by an irresponsible negro gentleman As the fly playfully titillated her interior mechanism she began with a low musical gurgle that made you think of spring water chasing a shat bog bug over the riffle gradually increasing with a crescendo that suggested T flock of peacocks against the world her face grew lividly purple the rooster leathers on hor hat got a tearful attack of st altus dance and for a time it seemed as though that maiden was going to be tickled to death just at the vital moment the conductor induced her to eat atleco effly paper and we arrived in new york on time aa I 1 walked into the hotel I 1 met a man glancing ni roy he aard casually addressing me ah you are from the 1 I am said I 1 proudly im from chicago where the bird of freedom flaps his wings every morning and tho tunnel caves in every night ho seemed impressed have you over been west I 1 emboldened oh yes said he with a look of jennal yes I 1 should aay eo ivo been dear out to northeast pa next alnio you come so far west ald I 1 hospitably stop in chicago and yeo the masonic temple turn around he went away mad well I 1 went garking gawking down broadway and wound up in an undertaking establishment where the undertaker was laying put a corpse chos dead asked being lone eoma the hired girl said alio undertaker why basked well you see it was this way the undertaker confidentially there was an artist and he needed money the rich man had the money and to separate him from it the artist painted a wonderful picture the picture of an old fashioned room with a groat fireplace about the fireplace suspended from a rafter ho painted a dangling spiders web the hired girl was a good girl and she just naturally worried herself into nervous prostration and a 13 coffin trying to sweep that cobweb from the room go on said I 1 there may have been thai kind of an artist but it is absolutely sure there was never that kind ot a hired girl |