Show N LUTE BY THE TUE WAY J IN IX WASHINGTON Senator J. J Comes Conies to the Front l with Stir Stir- Stirring Stirring StIrring ring Appeal to Eradicate Evil ll Menace of oC root Foot Jelly By fly RODNEY DUTCHER NEA XEA Sen Sert Serice Ice Writer WASHINGTON Juno June 21 The l-The The capital city Is all an of at a twitter over rumors that hat Senator J. J McWhorter has contracted a case of ot presidential rabies The local local of the Political Wiseacres Union Unton at Its weekly bi-weekly meeting voted almost unanimous unanimous- unanimously ly y that there were grounds for tor such a rumor and the tho rumor was I promptly promulgated with a un- un unon unIon union Ion on label Hardly any other construction It t Is generally agreed agree can be placed upon Senator McWhorter's ringing declaration of oC war against foot toot Jelly Senator came camo out lat fiat lie He denounced calt's calf's foot Coot Jelly In irs such scathing terms that hat he stamped himself as one of ot the th most advanced drys drs In public life litE When hen the nation first heard of ot Senator McWhorter's opposition to o foot toot Jelly the tho question was vas at once asked ased why Senator McWhorter didn't direct his am am- ammunition ammunition am- am ammunition against pickled pigs pig's feet Ceet Many substantial persons expressed the opinion Ion that pickled pigs pig's feet teet should be abolished first and that foot root jelly could wait walt Senator McWhorter how how- however however however ever soon enlightened them In the following public statement After Alter copious research and consultation with the best authorities ties I believe belle it Is now fitting to o declare myself upon one ono of the gravest Issues that confronts our times What is It that wriggles today like Ike a great octopus luring our children to their destruction What Insidious institution guides them out upon the primrose path which leads first to the speak easy then to the gutter and then theno to o the grave What wolf wot In sheep's clothing leers at them under the guise ulse of ot harmless delicacy and beckons them toward the debauch of oC Bac Bac- Bacchus Bacchus Bacchus chus t 1 You will be astounded my good people when I tell you OU that I refer reter to none other than calf's calC's foot Coot Jelly the jelly the great menace which now confronts not only our youth but many of our silly grownups g who believe e that they can cart play with fire and still not be singed sing or worse I take talce this opportunity to tomake tomake tomake make solemn vow by b every prin prin- principle principle ciple which I hold dear to let not the grass Krass prow grow under my m feet until this smelly smell jelly is all ship ship- shipped pod ped cd back to Moscow l where lt It lt be- be longs Observers here hero agree ree that a candidate must go far tar to prove himself drier than Senator Mc Mc- McWhorter Whorter McWhorter pressed further about his foot toot jelly cam cam- campaign campaign campaign announced that he would attempt to rally the school chil chil- children children dren of or the country behind him himI himI I I have hae made up a a. little coup- coup coupet let let-a et a sort Bort of a pledge pledge for for them then themo to o recite he explained ox It goes like Iko this No foot calC's Jelly Goes Into my stomach But Senator your correspondent spoke up helpfully that doesn't rhyme Huhl answered the senator Neither does the Declaration of or Independence |