Show ANOTHER CORPORATE INVASION OF HOME x FINE POINTS OF ARE TOLD hOk oot Tha ha at a least maA- maA a 1 yi yiL L 1 y lt i i- i ii i M I rt ft an open I 1 os 1 e 0 a 1 Bf By DON DOX HI HEROLD OLD Copyright 1926 by New lew York Tribune Inc In these days of or alimony middle middle- middlemen middlemen men teen love lo balm balm- brokers and prize prize fighters fighters who accept money for tor their work no news In regard to the spread of commercialism Is vcr very much of or a 0 surprise Commercialism now gnaws like a cancer at the very ery warp and woof of ot our economic foundations and not only pierces pierce every nook and cranny of our whole darned economic structure but penetrates to the core cor and strikes at the rObt ot of our entire social fabric When hen a thing thine gets as bad as that It Is either time for something to tobe tobe tobe be lone done about it or nothing The other night nl ht I was awakened by what I at first thought was wu a mouse and then d decided was a pachyderm and I reached under my pillow for my brace brae of or pistols and my brace of flashlights and pain pointing ling all four tour In Jn the direction ot of my until then th n unseen visitor I de- de demanded demanded de demanded Who there Imagine my depression when hen hen I saw It was Mrs frs Herold going through my clothes and taking money out of them In my abs absi I ce How long has hils this been going on I asked I mean at night I have hae been bern aware of something of this sort In the daytime since 1916 There was a sort of bran bra v do doIn doin In your devastations but how long have you been a- a a September Since the second Monday In Sep last she sobbed Oh Don DonDon Don Don Don Dont Don't think what yOU ou are arc thinking it was as not I It was Willi something outside of me that ht brought me to this kind ot or life lICe I Idid Idid Idid did not do It for tor the tho money I suppose you are doing It for tor forthe orth the kick Just another hun kick kick bun gry y housewife a 1 product of the Jazz age aie 11 at any rate I am I ItI clad to hear that you are not at It for the money alone In a way that would be bo a n reflection reelection on me rue anti and when I turn you over to the police and this affair or shall we ac e say ray ae- ae aeries se so series nez ries of ot affairs gets Into the papers It cannot he be said that I was so tight by day clay that you found round it necessary Issar essary to apt al fo to me TIe ne In my for funds and frivol money You turn wouldn't wouldn't turn me ove- ove to tb to th Yes Yea Yell and no but let us get irel to the bottom of this I said sternly It was as that awful old corpora corporation they tion-they tion they matIe macic mad Ih their lr proposition seem I em tm so verY verv attractive and and It dl did t not sound like stealing That Is III 1 why I took this up-this up this work It has bu beena been a terrible mistake red X Now 0 tho that t you are ca caught ugh t red red- red handed I replied naturally you ou think that Somehow they thy got tot ms ins m on their mailing list Ah Ab so there is a mailing list at atthe atthe atthe the bottom of this I Their Their circulars came carne and drew pictures of the thrills of picking ones one's one husbands husband's husband pockets in ID inthe Inthe the dead of night ht and their liter liter- literature literature liter literature was so clever And their commission was only 25 per cent You mean that somebody has been getting a a percentage of the money that thai you have been taking out of my pockets since th second Monday In Sop Sep September Sep September last I said ald In amaze Amaze- Amazement amazement amazement ment Dont you think it was a bar bar- bargain bargain bar caln gain considering the excitement I have got out of It only It only 25 per percent percent percent cent they charge charce Who Vho is they The Housewives Husbands Pocket Picking corporation Oh Don If It you only knew how they put it uto UI up u to us un They did not want housewives working tor for them for money monty alone In fact they refused to take a commission from housewives who had to pick their husbands husband's pockets pocket to get ret monty money You know you OU have always been liberal with me m It was not that That was why their literature ap- ap appealed appealed ap appealed pealed particularly to me roe They wanted contented housewives housewives- housewives who would get the money an a way anyway They said their commission was the price pric of ot the thrill and for us to think of or that as 55 well as 31 the price of a theatre ticket or a n bottle of Scotch or orsome orsome orsome some other necessity of o life lire The They told us about the thc big bir chains of hat checking stands and how the sweet girl who run them give elve a commIssion to the corpora corporation lion be- be behind behind be behind hind the th system They said they themselves might and could charge 50 per cent commission but that In order to 10 get eel representatives representative In a hurry they were ere going to extend the exceptionally reason reason- reasonable reason reason-abl able ablo rate rac of or 25 per cent And what do they give In re- re return return re return turn for this Ibis commission Lessons ons tor for one thing thins This ha has September been going colne on since Septem Septem- ber her and you ou have hav just got sot onto It It It takes take a certain touch And they give us nice nic monthly report blanks blank I And then they keep keel at atus atus atu us constantly with willi subtle prop prop- propaganda prop to break down our scruples It IL is not exactly a white thing to do this pocket picking Personally I think they give lv us 25 per cents cent's worth of or moral morel tur- tur turpitude turpitude tur turpitude alone And the th whole hole thing has given ghen Iven me a big blar kick All In all It has been a big bir bargain All right I see tee your our point of view 1 I i forgive you But now you have hav had your fling flint and to- to tomorrow to tomorrow morrow you ou write to the House House- Housewives Housewives wives Husbands Pocket Picking corporation that you will hate hav to give up their agency In this house houss And from now on you stay off of f of mailing lists How much did you OU ret get tonight Thirty four dollars The cor- cor corporation corporation cor corporation commission will be bo eight dollar she ahe said No Xo It wont won't ont You give me inc m the eight and keep keel the th 24 We will split spilt on that basis from front now on on- Well this night has not been beena bena a total loss I reflected |