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Show just f6rfun H Misleading Demonstration. H 'Yqu say your hearcr3 sat H through your speech In open- mouthed astonishment?" B1 "L tbouSht so at first," replied H Mr, Tecjus. "But I have 'earned V that most of those fellows are ac- t customed to nloep with their mouthn open." Washington Star. Hk "Sec here! You -wrote a personal K letter yesterday during office hours. H. You uaed your etuployor'B time. K "Well, I havo worked over- Hr That's H7 tlrao at least one hundrod tlmea ' ppr ycir for the past ton jeans." B; "Ha- Hum! That'o buBlneee. i K&;i3U3 City Journal. &p Not Making a Record. B "How'b your boy Josh doing?" M "Ain't cuttin' much of a flggor in H his perfcti9ion, I'm afraid," replied H Farmer CorntosEol. "Ho said ho Hj - was goin' to be a chauffeur, but H J I'vo read the papor every day an' H "- I alnt Been a word 'bont his'beln' Br ; arrested fur speedin'." St. LouIb BJ-. ' Modern PhilantHroplet. H , "Wiiy arc you sobbing, my littlo H' "-AIv P?-'s a millionaire philan- ; j ' throplat" B "Well, well, that's nothliij; to cry 1 'about." B '"It. ain't, ain't if He's Just proni- H -Jsedto give me $5 to spend at H i v ; Chrlstman provided I raise a sim L-, 1 ' ilar amount." Life. B i , " B - i 1 B . The Reminder. Frederick Townbend Martin, apropos of the extravagances of the Idle lich, said at a dinner in Washington: "I heard a case in point. The wife of an overworked promoter said at breakfast: " 'Will yob pcBt this lotter for me, dear? It's to the furr.er, countermanding coun-termanding my order for thn .JDOu oable and ermine stole. You'll be suro to romember? "The tired oyoa of the harassed, 3habb promoter lit up with Joy. Ho seized a skipping rope that lay wJth a heap of dolls and toys in the corner, and, going to his wife, said: '"Here, tlo my right hand to my left foot so 1 won't forgot.' " Phil". adelphia Record. As Any Boy's Father Knows? Rankin How are your winter apples keeping? Fyle H'm not vory well; my boy has too many friends. Chi" cago Tribune. Still Working. "You can carry gorms cross the ocean, can't you?" "I should say you could; look what the Mayflower did to this country!" Life. A Real Boy. "And Tommy, has your poor mother snrainod hor ankle?" "YoB'm but It's all right, Sho bought all onr Christmas presents first." Life. . . |