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Show I JUST FOR FUN H From Two Hearpolnts. H Jacob Gould Schurman, president H of Cornell University, was walking H across the campus the other day H with the dean of one oC the col- H legos, when the chimes In the 11- H brary tower began to ring. j "Dean," said he, "the music of B those chimes is so beautiful that H IL always sets me dreaming of the H past. My boyhood days H "What do you say?" interrupted H the venerablo dean. "I say the chimes are very, very 1 beautiful. They make me think H "What?" yelled the dignified old H dean again. H "Tho chimes the chimes how j beautiful H "Speak louder," yelled the dean H once more. I can't hear you fori j tho devilish bells." Short Stories. H "" Natural Thing to Do, Sunday-Bchool Teacher After he H heard tho people shouting "Saul H has slain his thousands, but David H has slain his tens of thousands," H what did Saul do then7 j Willie (whose father "also ran") H I suppose he got right up and H bellered for a recount. Puck. H Some H "Pa, what does it mean when H you say a man was grossly insult- H "Well," replied tho father, "a B man is 'grossly Insulted when the H opposing pitcher passes two men j in order to get a chaucc at him." H Detroit Free Press. A Relapse. Little Arthur was very proud of his membership iu the "Band of Mercy." Ho wore the badge, a small star, as if it were n policeman's police-man's insignia, and could often be heard reproving the other boys for their cruel treatment of dogs and cats. But one day a lady of the neighborhood was astonished to find him In the very' act of tormenting tor-menting the cat She protested: "Why, Arthur, what are you doing? I thqught you belonged to the 'Band of Mercy.' " "I did," he said, "hut I lost my star." Metropolitan Magazine. Poor Mixture. Speaking of the Southwest: Wo heard a story from tho Arizona-Mexican Arizona-Mexican hordcr that seems to bo timely. One of the Americans damaged by bullets from across tho line gave his name as Patrick O'Ryan y Vasqucz. "When carried into the zone of safety he was found to bo armed to the teeth. "Are you an American or a Mexican?" he was asked. ".list enough av an American to shoot on the slightest provocation," he groaned, "an just enough av a Mexican to miss lv'rythlng 01 shoot, at." -Boston Traveler. A Double-Header. "Can J got off to go to tho, ball gamo?" J .,"' "You cannot," nnGwe'red tho hossi "Furthermore, you will have to work tonight. The office. Is scheduled sched-uled for a doutfle-lieadcrv'-ipitts-'" burg Post, |