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Show .... THE BINGHAM BULLETIN. BINGHAM CANYON. UTAH PACESEVEN " OUR COMIC 5ECTION Current I LIFE'S $r LITTLEQ hi) 1 HARD TO CHOOSE . Once there a wwnn who hart three suitors. S didn't know which one to marry. One whs a grocer. ne doctor, and one n preacher. If she married I lie grocer. he could get her groceries fr nothing. If (he married the doctor, she could be well for noili'tin. If tthe married the preacher she could be coim for nothing. I'm gresslve Grocer. YANXEE PUZZLED An American staying at a Scottish shooting lod-- e was awakened early Id the morning by nn g noise under the bedroom window. "I.uvvn Mike." he Raid to the man who brought la the niornlng tea. "what's that?" "That's Ionnld pluylne the bagpipe, sir," enme the reply. "flee." muttered tit1 American, "I thought It nut some one torturing a hagglsl" . SAY "BAYER ASPIRIN,,- -, Unless you see the "Bayer Cross" on tablets, you are not s getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by mill lions and prescribed by physicians over 25 years for Colds Headache Neuritis Lumbago Pain Neuralgia Toothache Rheumatism "'(; DOES NOT AFFECT THE HEART , V Accept Q"ly "Bayer" packa 6 ' iO mwt-- which contains proven directions. f I Ilandv "Bayer" boxes of It Unlets, , . - V . ' ' Alto bottles f 14 aid lOfrDrnggista, - t iaplrla It Um trad turf t Barer Hmltdni f MoaoantlcaelAeetef t IsllqUMcM ." ' - .fl :il tftuA g 2 orbursttisaraaasUyand w quickly removed with-- .. vJ out knlfa or firing Iron. JrJ fcjr Absorblnaraducaatham fvl f pmanntly and leaves no SSf A blemishes, WW not bUstec 1 or remove tha hair. Hon worked daring treatment. At druggtauor $2J0 postpaid. Hone book S ftea. Snrpriaau Mt wrKatt "Ham had larrert thoa Vafl I ever mw. Now all gont. I would Dot Itava thought lhat AbaorUoa eould lake it aw a n anmylelaly.,r W, F. VUUHG. lnc.610lyniinSt..SpnnttiwlUa. aprrlal 8aK Itranttful La Tanarw pearl nmklare, I atranda, while fold diamond claop.Hatla.sutr. Price 11 C M. Oulhrla, 141 Campbell Ave.. Lyethburf. Vt. LKARN nAVRRBRINO tod tlwtrt ke able ts amMiraeniplKTuii'nt. Wrlta for pertlonlan. BOLtU ttirraf or neUwu, m aarat Cm uu at,, via AOKNTS HOT. JUKT OVT Band toa tor I nfw Importad novelttaa, II for $1.0. NOVEI.TT IkJPOKTINU CO.. lit W. Adtme 8t.. Chloaeo. . ( ffNHTIl'ATIOJ RANINHKD No ftruwa. Ompletf Inatrurtlont for .SI Mcritay rfundad If not artttflfaetory.' ' Nye, Hot I)T, Kaat Kan Dloirov OtIU. . . Good Health Keep . A Woman Young Denver, Colo. "I was all rundown ' In health and not until I took Dr. ' Pierce's Favorite Prescription did I get any benefit 1 t used about a doeen bottles of tha 'Pr ' cr'PuD' bit I ' 1 well long before . J that I just kept It f up until I had tak-- 1 en that much, and K. I have never been ivN tick sicca. I would " .' ad via any woman y ' If in poor health to try the 'Favorite Prescription." Mrs. ' S a a I a Aber-nath- y, 2236 Walton St In liquid or tablets, at your deal- - , ers. Send 10c to Dr. Pierce's In-valids' Hotel, Buffalo, N. T, for trial pkg. of tablets, and write for al advice. W. N. U, Salt Lake City, No. 27. jVyfiJ rousuigbakfiu-tuetoryn- a Ajf 1 otliet hotcake flour can hope to telL I "Flapjack" iaita title; and the chapter mMm0$ we tender, light and tastjrhotcakesl clben stands for Setter 'Breaifasts aMawMBniaaaaawawianaaawaaaaanw - MAKING SURE "The cook says the Is going to leave." "Nothing will change ber mind?" "Nothing." "All right Then I'll go down to the kitchen and discharge ber." f Events in the Lives of Little Men I J5$ElMtR AREWARD "rt: V3t4-S- i 4fl jPfj OOO PHAVI0R M GOING ffp "j M-R- 7 APPOINT MONITOR. U'WiV J 3 : POSITION Mary He says he has a good posi-tion In the tie department of the big store, May So he has he's bundle wrap-per, my dear. , Hymn of Hat A ruy I hat la Johnny Nash,. Quotes: "Ha who steals My purse etaale Iraah." All Together "Coma loin me," said th butting baa "In tweet community tinging" "There's a miachltvloua boy around th hive," aald tha beta, "Left join In community stinging." Getting Accurate Data on Ocean Temperature A virtual floating thermometer bat been made of the l.os Angeles liner f'alawull by the University of Califor-nia, says the Lot Angeles Times. In 11 n effort to obtain accurate data about the ocean's temperature tor uso In studying currents, the university. In with the lxs Angeles Steamship company, has installed a thermograph In the engine room of the ship. Attached to the Intake pipe of the engine Is a tube of mercury. The other end Is attached to the thermo graph. As the sea water Is drawn Into the Intake it flows over this mer-cury tube, causing the mercury to rise und fall according to the temperature. A strip of paper ruled for days hours and minutes automatically re-cords the temperature at all times at the ship plows Its wuy through the Pa-cific to and from Hawaii. Heretofore all study of ocean tem-peratures was mnde by dipping up buckets of surface water and placing a thermometer therein. A Variation Mr. Billyuns So you are giving riy wife painting lessons T What sort of a pupil Is she? Artist I Ond ber very apt to tay the least. Mr. Billyuns That'1 Queer I I al-ways find ber very apt to say the most Call for Flowen "Hello!" cume from the phone. "Is Rose there!" "No." "Is Violet there!" "No." - "Is Lilly tlierer "Suy, what do you think this Is, a bloomln' conservatory?" It Should, but Father was having of golf with a friend and little- Joan came along with mother to look on. After watching her daddy on the green for some time, Joan asked : "Musi n't the ball go Into that little hole, mummy?" Boston Post. THE FEATHERHEADS Buzz-buzz-Baza- ar 1; . .'HgrlflH',, TEAiperATo jALAQ w A Y, ol fftlj J 0P HlS yiSlT '1 Fmn PAtEa AWrV;iAi,ANtiArTeS-Uf- U f tim The SW1NOL6 STALU3 AT W'A DltWEO SPEAKER OM A NOJ'pi l't)Hlri- - 111!! TUtBAZAAK AND WrV 6006 li'I STbP FUGHTw. fjM M0NEVFC)Q-reirr3THA-T 4 I." " i' Vn ' , lIW fW'A VooCAMTEVENGWEAWJiVy ' Revoked The golfer missed the ball three times, plowing up the turt "You've revoked," said his partner: "But I'm not playing cards," remon-strated the unfortunate player. "All the same," was the reply "you've been playing a spade instead of a club !" Edinburgh Scotsman. It'e Not Being bono , Motorist Sorry, old man. AH 1 huve Is f5. I'll pay you more later. Victim Suy I How do you 'get . that wuy I Do you think yoo can ride) over me and pny on the Installment plan? , : ..: :," Caffy "My husband," she said, "aiwayt wants me to look my best, no mutter what It costs." "Well," her friend replied, "one can hardly blame htm for feeling as lie does." Boston Transcript, The Eatier Way Firenuin (to caialn) I'lease, sir, the school house Is burning down, but we can't get up to the second floor without a bidder. Cnptulu That doesn't matter; you JuKt wait till the second floor Is burnpd down and then you can get In. Klkerlkl, Vienna. Blonde or Brunette A Missouri preacher who has mar rled more than 4,000 couples during his pulpit career mentions the clrcnm stances that the brunette hridps fn!e their nnlon rather more serloimlv than the other types. The trlrl conies up to tlte altar with the best of a sportsman. She wants to show you what shfi has captured with-out describing the size of thoee that got away. But the pnstor says that among the blonds there are very many dumb-bells- . They do not seem to know what It l nil shout and few of them seem to cure. But It must be understood that this Is a Missouri rec-ord and may not apply so rigidly to the brides In other states. Out here the rumor that blonds are dumb hat never gained much headway. Los Anceles Times. r--n ' Following Precedent "Why Is It a man always has to wait for a womanT' "Did not Adam have to wait mil II Eve was made up?" - POPULAR, OF COURSE !".- - Klrst Youth I hi you find yours. 'I! i:puliir w lib the rlrls? Second Youth- - till. yes, 1 own a cir ANY GOOSE CAN DO THAT Mm ' aa l Speaker (emphatically) "Vou cunt produce eggs without hens I" Boy Id Audience "Aw, ay gm.se knows how to do that l" j Foreteet Bottle-Fe- d Nation There la danger of bottle-feedin- g becoming a craze, declared Dr. A. F. fl. Sparks, a prominent English doc-tor, at a recent maternity and child welfare conference nt N'ewcastle-on-Tyn- England. Unless bottle-feedin- g for infants Is checked, he said, the na-tion would become bottle-fe- d with consequent loss In efficiency. His re-marks were conflrniT'd by other medi-cal men. The sh-r- lff of Newcastle suggested that welfare centers teach fathers how to keep babies asleep at nlcht. Just the Same "You're Buffering from Indigestion. , Drink a cup of hot water every morn-- tug." , . "I've been doing that for some time, doctor, only my wife calls It coffee." Answera. ' Good By, Jack He wagered on a pony That likes a durty track; But the rain came down In torrent 'Twai grood-b- y to hi Jack. How to Boatt I Hmmtlni'a a thing most men desp'e But If you have that bent. Better to boast about your rtt Thtn brag of your detct-n- t Second Thoughts - Mrs. Spende I don't like the looks 1 this dress. Dressmaker It's the niost expen live thing in my shop. Mrs. Spende Well, 1 might try It an. Philadelphia Bulletin. Save the Pieces "What a pretty nmne your maid has!" remarked the visitor. "Oh, that Isn't her real name," was the reply; "we call her 'Dawn' because she's always breaking!" Congrega- - ttonallst HNNEY OF THE FORCE It's a Hot Time Anyway 5ffl?fso? ) willv Bingham's (osoiWf t f XT J Ayy I PA CAUGHT HIM SMOWN rJffPy QUICKl-BlNGWAMS- ESj 5 f HEftf? WHAT HE DONETg jJO & W V J w TimlfV SMOKE AND SOM& TIgv tr Western Newspaper Union r! , " Traitor Interviewer What do 'yon think of the voter who casts his- - vote for the one he thinks Is the best man? Politician He's, a traitor to our party I Vancouver Province. Trouble Averted "I quarreled with. Meyer; I should have beaten him black and blue, If I hadn't been prevented." . , "Who prevented you?" "Meyer." Ncbelspalter, Zurlrh. Worse Than Pining the rich young widow pining for her husband?" "Not exactly, but from the way she la making his money fly. It might be sutd that she Is wasting away." Boa tun Transcript. What Dad Knows "Sir. I have proposed to your daugh tr-r.- .' "Welir . "And she refers' me to you." "Then your case Is hopeless." Lou Isville Courier-Journa- l ' Nearly Successful Ilobl'.s So your wife recovered. I bear the doctors made a great fight for her life. Dolibs They did, and they almost got It, too. Question Wlfle Did you miss me while I was awny? Hubby Tes, Td often feel homesick. But I'd look at your pliotogrnpb. and I wouldn't feel homesick any more. ' |