Show 77 waa F V 4 A A V T L B i A yan E r ma J X ti ac 7 y feia AM fei 4 twenty lve years have hav elapsed since th h a disappearance d 11 arance of richard mcfarlane McF arIane in world war I 1 and his hl wife julia Is 1 beet bedet with fresh worries as ai the children ali be has hai raised with the aid ol of her ber father inlaw ill law john 1 I mcfarlane become involved la in world war 11 RIC alc has ha washed wash e d out of the air corpt corps while jul jm li baui Us hopelessly in love lore with cleat G ordon gordon jill and spans spang 90 0 o to a dance and when spang profess hit his love for or her jill 1 to hurt hurl he does tell her however that ric li Is plying paying attention to a divorcee of 0 questionable character jill 1111 determines to to 0 to crop to see lee her brother and also to talk to spang span again she tells ted inua her ber plans CHAPTER VI 1 I think its a beautiful idea dave was in love with you when you were seventeen he told me so grandfathers old and im not going to be around forever I 1 hope though you may have me on your hands maybe ill be one of those bright spinsters spin who fade reluctantly and get horsy with tanned leath er hides and lean hands that grab for highball glasses or I 1 might turn coy and wear pastel colored clothes too young for me and make up tales about my lover who died in the great war could be dont be disgusting jill julia spoke crisply as she went out julia went to her room and closed the door though the working outfit she wore was soiled and dusty the sat down on the edge of her prim white bed aills abrupt remark flung in her face as ruthlessly as a dash of cold water had set stirring within her that current of rebellion that she had fought so long and conquered up to now why she grow old old and cold and patient with no dampened fire flaring to trouble her at unexpected moments no dreams to drift like sun kindled clouds across her dull horizon what a relief to be old so that she would never again have to know this aching lack this hunger within herself for a little understanding a little tenderness richard was dead and yet he would not die something of him stayed alive to tease and haunt her as he had tortured her when her love for him had made her abject and naive and too pitifully vulnerable for bears years john 1 I had been nagging at her to have richard declared legally dead so many things were involved he argued the title to the property her childrens inheritance everything she had worked so long and so hard to attain what money john 1 I had julia knew was willed to jill he biad had always been a little impatient with ric dubious about him money ruined the mcfarlane Mc Earlane men he declared softened and spoiled them only work could save them because she knew how john I 1 felt julia had been a bit more generous with her son foolishly generous no doubt but her lenience had eased tome some grimness in her th the unforgiving thing she had not been able to conquer the war the air corps had been right for ric she was certain the farm had always irked him but his desire for speed his audacious spirit his arrogant recklessness would be appeased by combat she had put her maternal apprehensions hen down and forced herself not to worry ric bic h had ad to do this thing it meant salvation alv atlon for him and then tor for some reason unexplained because a desperately efficient army machine never bothers with explanations ric had failed his bis examinations for the cadet corps the punk jiu jill had been scornful he slid through college on his ear and he expected to get by a military board the same way hell be a joe gunner or a grease monkey now haunting memories of richard but bics luck had held the same luck that had been with him when he talked himself out of jams at school when he slid tree free of speeding charges when he wangled extra money from his bis fuming grandfather he had got an assignment to officers school hell flunk it see jill said eaid but julia had bad held to hope because she was bics mother ric was her deep heart ric was the man in her life but never from her handsome insolent son had she had consideration or tenderness to old john I 1 she was a partner adequate standing on her own feet beet wise but to dave patterson she was a woman leaning her burning cheeks in firm palms julia wondered if she had depended on dave too much he had been the one person to whom she owed no responsibility other than the gladly given gift of kindness and comradeship he had been a rock on which at times her weariness had rested she had been fooling herself of course and now aills sharp young ruthlessness hid had torn all her carefully arranged pretenses to shreds she had known for a 9 long tune that daves feeling for her was mor inore than friendliness she haa ha pushed the knowledge away she had refused to acknowledge it even to herself she had tried to hold him off yet keep him too she knew now how unfair she had been somehow she had to make it up to dave that the she could love him in return was something this rigid thing in her heart would not permit her to consider she had frozen herself into a mold so long ago she could not alter the form of what she must be to herself but with that sureness came an overwhelming loneliness she had dedicated herself to a memory to a ghost and it was like to an tomb the dreadful part was that there was always that secret feeling of 0 menace about that tomb im a foell she said aloud sharply snatching her hands down and jerking her body erect she doused her face with cold water gave her hair a few disciplining strokes with a brush she had to take the truck and go out and check the corn yield with john I 1 love s she e twisted her mouth as she thought ot of III it there was no time for love and no dignity 4 kl r X so nice to see you again spang about it for a woman past forty a woman who had spent herself for love once and got only a promissory note tor for recompense that it had been only the fevered passion of a girl that this other ache in her heart was real and living she would not admit even to herself but dave must not be hurt he had loved another woman once been married to her for a brief time but she knew that that old love was now only something frail and sweet to dave a fragrance like that of a pressed flower a wreath laid on a slender grave but that grave had bad closed while if she julia had a grave to keep it would not green it would not soften with time it gave her no peace brother and sister talk A sidling thought came into her mind perhaps if she was clever about it she could maneuver dave into falling in love with jill he was too old tor for her as old as her father as a matter of fact but daves heart was youthful while jill had grown a little too mature had let her age trouble and tense her it would solve two of her problems it would ease her conscience she thought but also it would leave her terribly alone with no one but john L who fought off age fiercely but who must succumb inevitably to what he called ithac that damn almanac she would not think about herself she would not think at all she would concentrate on meat curing formulas she would give up bothering about lipstick lip stick and the right foundation garment she would grow old like a country woman with no graces utilitarian she made herself believe this as the little truck rattled up the rocky lane and through the gate into the vast cornfield she walked between the ripening rows and jerked at thorny vines that snatched at her ankles she tore away husks and examined the drying ears critically old john 1 I marched beside her saying nothing but she could almost feel his keen eyes burning into her she knew what he was thinking because he had bad told her bluntly not so long ago that she was a sentimental weak minded tool fool the hotel near ridley field was always excitingly full of officers and other uniformed men and jiu jill had a new dress of aquamarine faille that brought out all the fruity tints of her hair and a saucy little hat that did exactly the right things for foi her eyes she called the field a and nd left a message tor for ric as soon as she arrived land i and presently he be telephoned her his bis voice sounding just a trill trifle e impatient hello jiu jill I 1 expecting you down mother with you no dooley come how are you can you get off to have hav dinner with me tonight ric ric hesitated tor for a breath not sure he said then been mighty tight with passes lately ill see what I 1 can do and call you later 1 I thought you always had a B pass into town 11 canceled a lot of passes in our squadron I 1 might be able to wangle one stick around the telephone and IU ill let you know tell them your only sister came miles to have a look at you you arent being shipped out are you ric no orders yet nothing but rumors mother all right oh yes everything Is fine try to get in will you I 1 came a long way to see you IU ill do my best jill but this Is the army you know jill hung up with some irritation now she must wait till she heard from ric before she called spang she tried to summon a gay assurance as she made herself pretty before the mirror but her heart was shivering and she decided that if spang brushed her off casually this time she would go back to the farm and devote herself to pigs forever an hour passed before ric telephoned again sorry jill no soap tough luck tor for both of us could you see me at the gate after five if I 1 came out in a taxi ric cant even do that im stuck on a detail tonight sorry I 1 know you were coming down or I 1 would have tried to make a swap of some kind let me know a week in advance next time will youl you and give mother my love ill try to write next week been busy as the devil all right ric sorry goodby good by probably he had had his pass canceled tor for some reason that he want to tell her but now ric was definitely out of it and she was free ee t to spend the weekend week end as she pleased leased so she put in another call for the field and asked to speak to lieutenant spencer gordon only to be told that the lieutenant had signed off the post and gone to town well it if he was in town there was a chance that she might meet him so she touched up her makeup make up and gave her hat the right tilt and went downstairs for all her reckless remarks to her mother she had always despised girls who ran after men and were easy to get and therefore vulnerable but this was different she going to hurl herself at spans head she was going to be lightly indifferent though heaven knew it be easy keeping a cool head while her heart was burning like a mad bonfire I 1 spang was nowhere about when she went down but she knew that this small and continually crowded hotel was the town rendezvous tor for all the officers and men at the field so she went into the dining room and took a long time arderi ordering ng her dinner not looking around ignoring the groups of jaunty lads in khaki who turned on her bright direct glances it if spang came into the room she would know it something acute within her tuned to response would know when he was near she was so sure of this that she ate very slowly buying an evening paper from a soiled little boy studying the pages with exaggerated interest between sips of the slightly warm tomato juice they brought her so she was startled an hour later when the dinner having dragged I 1 itself out through three cigarettes she rose at last to go and there was spang sitting near the door with two other officers they were finishing plates of apple pie second meeting with spang span spang jumped to his feet as she approached and the other men got up too why hello jill he cried 1 I see you in here may I 1 present lieutenant crawford Craw tord and lieutenant stark miss mcfarlane the two young men bowed and spang pulled out a chair sit down and have something more with us jill when did you come down mrs mcfarlane with ith you no I 1 came alone jill dropped into a chair leaned her chin on her palms smiled at the three of them impartially 1 I came down to see ric my brother she explained to the two strangers but it seems hes forfeited his pass or something and I 1 was just making up my mind whether the bus or train would be the most hectic way to get home so nice to see you again spang 1 you mean you were going home without even letting me know spang demanded scowling at her 1 I did telephone jill kept her touch light but left the post and it occur to in me id meet you hire here I 1 ftc TO BE CONTINUED |