Show W what hat 0 S co s bb t inks about bout poor lo 10 s revival CANTA ANTA MONICA CALIF despite the blessings of civilization which we have bestowed upon them including diseases whisky soda pop and 2 overalls the american indians are increasing this should give our red brothers cause for worry suppose they got so numerous that we gave this coun try back to them already we are in debated to these ong inal inhabitants for cl quinine u 1 nine cocaine c cotton 0 t t 0 n chocolate tobacco corn b beans e a n s squashes pumpkins grape fruit huckleberries and hundreds of oth er remedial drugs irvin cobb or foodstuffs more over an eminent authority says the curative methods of the old medi cine man had values which in many respects excelled what the white i man has produced and suggests our scientists might well adopt certain aspects of the aborigine s plan what if we did that ve very ry thing and then by the way of exchange ed the tribesmen to take over such trifling problems as an unbalanced budget our european debts sit down strikes and the younger gen aeration era tion cleaning up the stage H lost their licenses four teen burlesque houses in new york wont won t ever get them back if the officials keep their word ab about out it with this example to go by au thon ties might next try the idea of cleaning up the legitimate stage there the spawning place and breeding ground of shows which filthy lines and filthier scenes are freely offered to pop eyed audiences recruited from what we call 0 our best families poisoning the moral atmosphere of the theater appears to be the favorite sport of a new school of dramatists who when they were little boys had their mouths washed out with soap for using dirty words yet never got over the habit the fate of beauty queens JUST as the weather gets warm so 0 the contestants won t catch any thing worse than sunburn that out break of annual monotony known as the beauty contest will stir the lace to heights of the utmost india ference there will be no dress re hear beforehand with beauty contests it s the other way around and then when miss cherokee or miss clear view has been hailed as america q prize package of loveliness she will if she runs true to form put her clothes back on and catch the next train for call cali forma fornia with the intention of starring in the movies on arrival she will be pained to note that none of the studio heads Is waiting at the station to sign her up also that practically adl di the star ring jobs are being held by young ladies who in addition to good looks have that desirable little thing called personality and next fall she 11 be dealing em off the arm in a hollywood bashery international slickers RS RUMORS persist that the united states tates great britain and france are preparing for eventual agreements on monetary stabilize liza tion tariff and trade adjustments price fixing of essential commodo ties and believe it or not brethren and listren a settlement of the de faulted foreign debts owed to us maybe it s significant or if you want to be broadminded and char bitable about it merely a coincidence that aery dispatch from euro sources on this matter lists the debts last and verily I 1 say unto you thai tha s exactly when and where they will come last I 1 seem to see the big three gath ere ered d at the council table for the final session and la belle france moving that everything else having been arranged to the satisfaction of the majority present and the hour being late the detail of those debts be put over to some future date john bull seconds the motion motion carried by a vote of 2 to I 1 uncle sam being feebly recorded in the negative A sense of humor DAM ON RUNYON who being wi wise se should know better re opens the issue of whether many people have a sense of humor this provokes somebody to inquire what is humor anyhow I 1 stand by this definition humor is tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn lots of folks think a sense of hu mor is predicated on the ability to laugh at other folks which is wrong A real sense of humor is based on our ability to laugh at ourselves you have to say not as puck did what fools these mortals be but what fools we mortals be that s why few women have a true sense of humor usually a woman woma n even a witty woman takes herself so seriously she can never regard herself un seriously IRVINS IRVIN S COBB e 0 |