Show 0 A who ho came back jack woodford bodford SEP VICE CHAPTER VIII continued 13 of 1 I was not thinking of your first tali tnie take I 1 was thinking of your see second one the gentleman you speak of as gray eyes but hes beg nothing r naturally say so go and I 1 do believe that he be Is nothing to you now but he must have been at some time although he be too takes the more than a little absurd position that his bis interest in you la Is purely altruistic frankly I 1 dont believe either cither him or yourself in this connection and you might as well know it soon as late then the reason youre going to marry miss bliss pringle la Is that you bellere roe me to be involved in some sort ot of an affair with gray eyes byes no not the reason hen its aei cc of in no that it either you are tn in no way to blame its just my own sheer cussedness he fie seemed a little uncertain of tits his course now a little ashamed of himself lillta leaned forward sympathetically tell me all about it mr the she begged well dwell he began heartened by her tone its like lik e this please try to understand der stand I 1 have been as you know tor for some years writing tor for the moga conga tines im getting now nowhere bere the stuff stair that I 1 write Is cheap commercial drivel written for a price I 1 can do better than that I 1 know I 1 want a chance to do the very best work that I 1 am capable of and by marrying miss bliss pringle I 1 can do it she has promised me that I 1 shall not have to worry over financial considerations at all I 1 shall have a big study to work in infinite time and no responsibilities no necessity for turning out cheap stuff in order to make a living no necessity tor for writing advertising copy for the papers that advertise theaters by way of so called play reviews rey lews do you see my point last night I 1 thought that I 1 would give up the idea and marry abut but but She stopped hant hm yes I 1 do returned loilta slowly 1 I think that you are hopeless much as I 1 care for you I 1 cannot kelp help but bat think less of you now cut but youre perfectly silly why should you think less of we me youre taking a sentimental view of this whole thing your mind Is full of the contemporary cant in this country the french with their broader contemplation temp lation of the moralities would think thick nothing of such an arrangement and besides it will be a help to you I 1 love you and shall always love you more than anyone else in the alie world this will gle ghe me a chance to be of iome ane help to you too while you are learning to write I 1 can help you financially after ive married miss bliss pringle do you think for one minute id accept such help from you under thos thusa circumstances you accepted it from gray eyes did you not but very different different I 1 think it Is much worse considering the fact that you do not love him either way considering that thal you are doing something very small if you do dd not intend to him any return tor for its his money you are cheating him if you do intend to you are lowering yourself since you admittedly do not love him then you think that it I 1 let you help me financially and made some sort of return to you considering the fact that we love each other it would be all right despite miss pringle despite the conventions despite all of the decencies there Is another phase to the thin thing lolita that you overlook we are artists and therefore not to be bound down by the ordinary conventions that the herd observes the greatest thin thing in the world Is tile the ability to create creat e beauty those who have that ability as you and I 1 have in a measure should be and by plain right tire are exempted from the observance of 0 the conventions that the babbits are dedicated to the creation of beauty Is the highest possible form that mans endeavor cau can take we vc should let no petty considerations of any kind interfere with our attempt to do so I 1 oot not alone in this view ahmoi t all by I 1 a e great for hundreds of years me men greed that this Is so crossno ness of that I 1 dont believe it many d ducept the theory and there here where liia its 0 o use in your presenting loose argument to me gotten behind to malic make something of 0 vm v A mau m it im going to do z Z 4 A plan svea the whole tact fact ot of the matter fa that you simply dont love me it before this question lillta sat eat silent the whole fact of the matter was that she did love him mightily and it was all that she could do to hold bold to her determination to win out in the right way or not at all her heart was breaking at the thought that be could for ono one moment consider carrl inz miss tor for her money 1 I do love you she said at last in a tone hardly audible ue file rose and crowd crossed to her chair took both of tier her hands in his own pulled her to her feet almost brutally he kissed her and brutal as the kiss was wag she gloried in it for she felt somehow certain that lie ha would never kiss miss pringle prangle like that for a moment she abandoned herself to his kisses and his bis lips sen searched her face ace tier her throat even her bosom oh ob mr you do love me she eald eaid softly drop this mad iden idea of marrying miss pringle you and I 1 can manage somehow ill go without anything everything we can work our problem of life out together and then if we ever get anywhere we will have done so by our own efforts clean ly please say you will no he said roughly 1 I 1 know what all that means and I 1 wont drag you through it youre too beautiful tao to be marred by the ugly contacts with life that that might coil call tor for let we me make it easy for both of us please suddenly be picked her up bodily and started to lo carry her across the room for one moment delicious resignation took hold bold of her senses it was wonderful to be picked up and carried off that way lie ile laid her down and she could feel tits his hot breath upon her as le fie bent beat over her and white while every fiber of her being called out for surrender she yet fought back sat up pushed him away stood erect the tears rolling from her eyes as she saw the expression upon tits his face one of such passion that it was horrible leave the oie room she ordered ue ile grasped her to in his arms again but with every ounce of strength in her body she fought him off and pushed him away marveling that she was able to do it despite the fact that she loved him no less for what had bad nearly transpired it if you dare to touch me again she told him earnestly ill call f for r help this sobered him and he stepped back his face hushed flushed and angry you always been so particular ti he reminded her no she agreed it if you loved me a little more be began it if I 1 loved you a little less she denied you would lave have had a better chance of succeeding As it Is I 1 want you to go and I 1 do not want you ever to come near me again until you have changed and if I 1 do not change chance I 1 then I 1 never want to see you again ever you mean that A absolutely basol u tely lolita Loll ta youre superb she did not reply to this sitting upon the bed she covered her face altu bilth her hands and cried frankly and openly you almost make me change my mind he be said sadly but I 1 cant ey ery well now I 1 can only hope that you will change yours I 1 think its bl big of you to take this position and all that still by and large its foolish and because it is foolish I 1 think boull get over it im going now but im coming back soon and I 1 want you to think things over and try and see them from my viewpoint she did not reply and after a moment he went to the door passed through and presently lolita heard his feet descending sc the stairs for the last time she reflected in an agony of torment she threw her slim body full length lengi h upon the bed and shook ath sobs realizing now that she really want him to go that it if it were pos sible to call him back she elie would accede to LIE his wishes in everything rather than lose him forever yet as she lay there sobbing little voices inside of tier her kept telling her approving heartening thin things at last slie she sat up dry eyed thinking intently for once and for all under the most trying circumstances cum stances imaginable she lie had bad proved to herself that she be was wa able to withstand temptation the easiest way had been most alluring from roin every standpoint yet she had turned tinned from it A great truth seemed to ariann upon her 03 she sat there still as a statue staring at tier her reflection la in the dresser glass a misstep lo in life did not disqualify one but merely made it harder for one to light fight and win the ultimate battle beyond a doubt the battle just won was a most decisive one things would be different now she jumped up and though it was late pulled a trunk out of the closet and opened it busily she ebe flew about the room putting her things into it she rhe would leave the neighborhood break away from everything and make her own way when she had succeeded if she succeeded she would pay back gray ryes eyes every cent that he had spent upon tier her deep down donn inside of her she knew had been born a new strength of if character a new determination stronger finer firmer than ever before drift anil it was this know knowledge knowledg led ge that made tier her happy even as the additional knowledge that she bad not stopped lovan loving and probably never would made her sad forcing thoughts of him from her mind she continued to pack in the morning she would lose herself so that neither nor gray eyes could possibly find tier her and from that time on light fight tier her own battle in the morning lillta rose still fully determined to carry out lier her reso lution of the night before it was a cold raw drizzly typical chicago day and not one likely to lift the spirits when she was dressed mrs leardy came in with the mall mail well well why so ambitious this morning asked that lady in her usual cheery manner im going to leave you returned lolita with sincere regret not really yes really I 1 want to get away from everyone make my own way ive let people help me out plenty long iong enough it if the man with the gray eyes wants to know where ive gone dont tell him anything about me one way or another just say I 1 will return what he has spent on me ns as soon as I 1 can ill take it out there to that roadhouse that he be seems to have something to do with mrs lardy looked genuinely sad well im sure sorry to see you go girlie yet I 1 really believe that youre taking the right step if you ever get into a jam or theres anything I 1 can po possibly pop sibly do for you dont hesitate to call me up or drop me a line heres your mall loots looks like another check thin envelope lolita took the en delope and mrs tardy went out after repe repeating a ting her promise to be of aid if needed opening the envelope lolita found achuck a check for 00 from a magazine tor for another confession story she had written the only story she had had out in the malls she need not leave a forwarding address lillta succeeded with a generous tip in inducing a taxi tail driver to allow het hek trunks of which she had bad two to go into the taxi with her this obviated the necessity necee sity of calling an which would have made it easier for anyone who wished to trace her drive to the wilson avenue 1 ti I station she directed him and get me a morning paper after he had bad made a stop tor for the paper she told him to drive south while he did she barri edly glanced through the he paper there was a classified ad extolling the desirability of a room for rent near the park this somewhat interested her and she gave ave the chauffeur the address presently they arrived before the number which was just about a quarter of a block from lincoln park and lillta alighted from the taxi told the driver to wait and approached a gray stone front house very dignified and pleasant looking though ehe ebe could see that it was a rather old building she rang the bell and presently a woman with a dust cap on came to the door id like to see the room you have for rent stated lolita aarl replied the lady lazily and led her to a room on the second floor door it was a much smaller room than lion the one she hod had had bad at mrs Il ardys ys but lillta reflected that doubt doubtless leN it was much cheaper and beside it had a bay window where she could put her typewriter upon a table and look into the pork park as she wrote how flow much she inquired without looking around any further TO BE BB CONTINUUM CONTINUED |