Show M W spoiling the I 1 f child f 1 by RING LARDNER K K MM K K M M K M K to the editor 1 I have received a letter from slie she who signs herself worried mother that wants information in regards to how to handle her 2 kids that seems to be kind of a wild pair and in behalf of other parents that maybe in the same pl pickle elile it looks like I 1 should 0 ought to print her letter to me and my reply to same as follows she writes in a kind of illiterate way dear sir I 1 been beel informed by the author itys that aou ou have 4 children that Is probably the best behaved children this side bide rAthe ct the reform school well sir air I 1 got only 12 as many children 1 of them a boy 4 yrs ars old and the other a girl 1 and 14 yrs ars old and I 1 cant do anything with will either I 1 of them for lost in a the first place the little girl wont sleep nights and crys a whole lot and also laps up more milk than we can afford to buy tor for her in regards to the buy boy he wont mind anything we tell him and keeps running away from home and ashen the neighbors children comes over to play with him it always winds up la in a fight flat and he fie always gets the worst of it as he got no nere nene it if you will pardon the slang I 1 enclose a plain envelope with no writing on it for reply and hope you wont tall fall to reply and then she signs her name anil address which is none of our readers reader business sly MY reply follows mrs angus simpson railroad street crestline ohio dear old girl you can bet I 1 wont fall to rep reply y to your overtures as I 1 always make it apt a pt to answer mish cush notes from fair ladys of the fair sex I 1 presume your note was in code but I 1 will reply to it on the up and up and my motto is safety 1st ast and then they cant nobody have a comeback you been well informed about the size of my family and you of come to a better man to get the desired information amongst my 4 children I 1 had about the same kind of a struggle you are having with your 2 2 2 but I 1 presume you have to give the boy the unique name of junior and probably the little girl irl is called lil well we will take up junior I 1 of my sons about the same age had bad a habit of running away from home all hrs of the day and finely alon along come the good old summer time and I 1 told him he could go bare tooted footed then I 1 went out on the st and paved it for a i a mile in both directions with tacks turned bottom side up but the little devil devai crossed me by going through the fields and the nel neighbors bbous back ads so I 1 day I 1 got him out to in tile the wood shed and pretended like I 1 was splitting kindling wood and by accident the heel beet of my hatchet come down doin on 3 toes of his bis 1st ast ft foremost nod and uie the operation was successful him and ills his parent both thou thought bt it was an accident so to say the way it Is now his nurse who Is 79 yrs ars old and built in proportion con can roll after him and catch him before tie lie gets out of the yd As tor for junior not minding anything you say I 1 have it a kid that was the same way until I 1 got me a whipping post witch can be boughten at a reduction in any first class post office and after about 3 lessons he b begun mg n to pay a tension one day after I 1 give him the works a cuple of our friends drove by in their tractor nod and they seen him blui and stopped and said Il lello stupid are aou ou all well no thank you was his bis reply 1 I am all welts As for junior being afraid to fight the thing Is to match him up with maloney AIa loncy and let him get some courage now in respects to I 1 no gals but the same treatment ought to be good for or both brands one ot of my kids insisted on 5 bottles ot of milk a day and take no less till I 1 conceived the idear of putting sour milk in 3 ot of the bottles and he woul dat touch none but the other 0 2 and wo we made a dally daily savings of CO per cent on milk alone ana and when hen this bird sleep at night I 1 would first rock him to sleep with a punch in the jaw or sprinkle a little chloroform on ills his pillow and the first tiling thing you know you could nt hardly wake him up I 1 also had bad a kid wat th at cried caled a whole lot nod and for no reason except that he had tile the collect or something or was getting teeth witch Is a waste of time in the first place because they loose them all when they are about 6 or 7 and get a now string well when he had cried till I 1 stand it no more I 1 went out nod and bought a double abbi bbl shotgun and shot out ills his tear ducks children Is a great comfort when they are broughten up right and not get too fresh and it Is all in tile the handling I 1 hope I 1 have helped you out darle and it if you ever ill hit this old town ft new york city I 1 wish you would call me up or give me a ring as they say only bo be sure not to cut cull I 1 up t the h e b house ouse as the phone in very good shape and pretty near abbody Is liable to answer and not milders you but give nie me a ring at the office and what ever Inform information atlon I 1 can give eive you aay hy I 1 at am at your beckon call longs island N Y Q by br the th doll bell syndicate lac inc |