Show I 1 L f AN ANCIENT ONE AT hamelin the police magistrate of paris was the victim of a venerable practical joke on april 1 it began in the early morning with the arrival at his residence in the avenue henri martin of several carts of coal followed by a continuous procession all day ot other vehicles conveying similarly unordered goods five pianos jars of cod liver oil liams hams mineral waters and vegetables whilo while among the visitors whose services were werd supposed to be required were an embalmer a masseur an undertaker and half a dozen pedicures cures altogether vehicles drove up to the house in the course of the day amid the confusion al hamelin went quietly to preside as usual at the police court london daily news particular about the butter ma ala wants two pounds of butter ex t acely like what you sent us last if it aint exactly like that she wont take it said the small boy the grocer turned to his numerous customers and remarked blandly some people in my business dont like particular customers but I 1 do its my delight to serve them and get them what they want I 1 will attend 1 to you in a moment little boy be sure to get the same kind said the boy 1 I lot of pas pals relations Is visiting at our house and ma want em to come again no reason at all ft he the major is going to be mar ried again she why when his wife died ho he said baid that the light of his life had gone out he theres no reason why he be strike another match is abere there startling yes our table is always up to date boasted the landlady we dawe have those beautiful red candles on it at supper time candles for supper gasped the prospective prospect iv e boarder madam do you think I 1 am an eskimo SAGE ADVICE n r 7 AIN 0 1 johnny the boss said that you would pay this little bill today to day mr air hunks you believe all people tell you for titles count bonis coming coining here to hunt financed no doubt by money sharks and he will find as lie he once found that heiresses are easy marka As amended his wife charity covers a multitude of sins they say her husband hurbai nd yes it certainly does especially when it begins at home borne GROWING UP WITH THE TOWN so you have grown up with the town but the town whid which was little Is great it possesses a worldwide world wide renown they have written success oer its gate the town which was once so obscure has a worth that Is splendid and sure the town ilas a prosperous look it appeals to the stranger afar it occupies no little nook where wrecked opportunities are As fair as a realized dream the town Is awake and supreme I 1 so you have grown up with the town but the town which was narrow Is broad it lias has not been content to sit down depending on chance or on god its challenge though stunned for a space it flings in catastrophes face S E aser MEAN insinuation ll 11 X VA wt kind lady you say yo you u need help but will your character stand investigation ti dusty Dodge work say lady you talk as if I 1 auz a politician but wants it good houston should be glad to own she only needs one telephone getting ready for the opera arent you ready dear he callej upstairs not quite was the cifes reply it ought not to take you so long to put your hat bat on im not going to wear any hat well it ought riot not to take you so long not to put one on yonkers statesman deliberate insult mrs that measly old bachelor uncle of yours was here today and he deliberately insulted us all insulted us why what did he do or say mrs why he took the baby on his knee and said poor little it chap he may grow up and become vice president some day killing time musical comedy manager how long is the piece now author weve stretched it out as aa much as we can but it is still about an hour less than standard length IN manager lanager well dash off a topics 1 song about broadway with a dozen or so encores puck from different viewpoints anxious mother I 1 cannot permit you to have such late callers it was after 11 when mr huggins left last night pretty daughter why mamma I 1 dont see how you can class mr air huggins as a late caller it was only when he came one view of it pa well what Is conscience A thing that we always believe ought to trouble the other fellow |