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Show OOOOOOOOOOOOOCXXXXXXXDOOOOO ' ' ' 1 I I I I I I 1 I I II i I I I I 1 I I I I r MY FAVORITE STORIES By IRVIN S. COBB I I I I I I M I I I 11 I M I I I I I 1 1 I i I-OOCOCOCOCXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX00 I-OOCOCOCOCXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX00 ICopyrlebt.) Two Conundrums and a Tragedy I do not know why It Is that nearly all the stories having to do with frugality fru-gality should be aimed at the Scot. Personally, it has always seemed to me that the Scotch were not a stingy race, but rather that they merely had elevated canniness In business dealings deal-ings to the nth degree. Your average Scotchman does not particularly wish to hoard his money ; he merely desires that when he spends it. he shull obtain a proper return. But If one may judge by the everbearing yield of Scotch stories or rather, stories aimed at the Scotch the world at large hoios to a different view. 1'ou know of course the ancient conundrum which was printed years ago in London Punch. As I recall It, this conundrum ran as follows: "How, at the conclusion of a railroad rail-road Journey, can you definitely fix the na'lonallty of an English passenger, pas-senger, un Irish passenger, and a Scotch passenger?" The answer was : "The Englishman hurries to the lunch-stand; the Irishman hastens to the bar; the Scotchman goes back through the train to see if anybody left anything." Then, here Just the other day, a friend tired this one at me: "Why," he asked, "have the Scotch a sense of humor?" v "All right," I said, "I'll bite; tell me, Mr. Bones, why have the Scotch a sense of humor?" "Because," he said, "it's a gift" A still later addition to the crop has Just reached me. It is stated that an Englishman, standing treat to a Scotchman at a pub, recommended that his guest try some very fine brandy which the establishment had ln stock at three shillings a drink. With glistening eyes the Scotchman agreed. He waited until the barmaid had poured out the brandy and then with a sudden leap he pounced upon the glass, seizing it ln both hands as in a vise. "Why do you do that, old dear?" asked the astonished host. "Because," said the Scotchman, "when I was a verra young man, back In Edinburgh In the year 1862, I saw one of them spilled." |