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Show In the Christmas Handicap v I Mere Man Describes How j Friend Wile Wins by an Eyelash Vfj-rl HERE is no use in my going home tonight," observed the H tall, sad man as he pushed Jff the dice box from him and r accepted the consolation ci-gar ci-gar which the tobacconist vouchsafed him. ; "There will be nothing do ing the way of eats. My Be hasn't time to cook. She's entered enter-ed In the Christmas handicap. You talk bout the six-day races where fellows ride around and around until they drop dead or go nuts ! Why, the Christmas handicap has that kind of an endurance race skun a mile ! "Jly wife gives one hundred and eleven presents on December 24 and 25. The race is between her and Christmas, and, believe me, Christmas is coming along pretty fast when it comes to the last lap of the race during dur-ing December. But my wife is coming along pretty rapidly, too. Take it from me, those needles of hers click so fast that they sound like fifty revolutions rev-olutions to the minute, and she hits on all six, too, and she leaves a string of pink and blue double bowknots, ku-telets, ku-telets, plcos and fourets In the wake of those needles that would astonish you! " 'Tick, tick,' says the clock, and tlckerty, tickerty, tick, tick,' says the needle and there's a pair of embroidered embroid-ered socks, an embroidered handkerchief handker-chief or a foot towel, a sweater, a cap, a dolly, a lamp shade, a photo holder or most any old thing. "Binso! It's December 22! Bingo, bingo, bingo-o-o, go the knitting needles and crochet hooks and the tatting tat-ting shuttles, leaving a string of garments gar-ments in their wake. "December 23 jumps up on the calendar, cal-endar, and whizz ! bang ! zipp ! go the needles, the paint brushes, the branding brand-ing irons and the stencils. And swish, swish ! on comes the scenery, the menagerie, me-nagerie, or whatever she has to evolve. 'December 24 swings into the Btretch. Now Christmas is here. They appiyach the wire. "Now, I don't know whether my wife has worked nil night or not, but she has brought her string jnetty well up abreast of the tiroes. But some of these presents have to be delivered. My wife grabs a handful at them and starts out to deliver them. None of them is finished yet, but she finishes them on the way. "Clang, clang! (roes tha street car. Buz-z-z! goes the current and away we go ! But bib, bib, boh go the finishing fin-ishing touches nu the presents. My wife arrives at a plane where a present pres-ent is to be delivered and rings the belL Bip, blp, hip, bip go the needles. Five yards to make and the maid ifl on the way to the door. "Creak-k ! The servant opens the door. Swish-h ! the present is completed. complet-ed. Thud ! My wife drops it into the box. Swish, iu goes tny wife's card, and rattle, on goes some liollyfied wrapping paper and my wife wins by an eyelash !" ooooooooooooo At Christmas be merry and $ V thankful withal O ? And feast thy poor neigh- o O bors, the great with O the small. g O Thomas Lusser. |