OCR Text |
Show babout: Walei' Fancy Panti. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. All is excitement in London. The prince of Wales has adopted adopt-ed a new style in trouserings called the "straight outline." With no desire to be morbid, I've gone into the fascinating details. I glean from the cablegrams cable-grams that they touch the wearer wear-er in but one place, and only then if his royal highness Is sitting down. When walking, walk-ing, he has to take p--vwTH two steps while j"1 " i the trousers are f v taking one. It's as ; though Slim Sum- fU. f ) merville swiped , - my things and was I 0 i trying to escape L " with the goods on " : I shall not follow s A the royal example. ' As a snappy dress- liJ.,A. imri-ftitj er I never seem Irvm S. Cobb, to get anywhere, somehow. George Ade once said no matter what I put on I still looked like Paducah, Ky., and when I read what the well-dressed man will wear I sorrowfully admit there's nothing correct about me except my back collar button and I'm not so sure about that. It's one of those plain bone ones nothing flashy. So I shall continue to stick to the garments enclosing me at the moment. They are, as you might say, my pre-depression pants. In youth they sheltered me; I'll not desert de-sert them now. Besides, I might be arrested. Hollywood Hermits. IF YOU'VE been to Movieland, you've seen our fur-bearing hermits. her-mits. As true recluses, these gentlemen gen-tlemen have the Innate desire to avoid being conspicuous, which Is ever characteristic of Hollywood. So they march the principal streets all day, with their long hair and their ditto whiskers waving in the climate, and wearing as few clothes as the law allows and out here we allow few indeed. There Is a single member of the group who's different. He's just as woolly as the others, but he doesn't parade up and down. Nor will he tell you his name or the address of his cave, or where he came from or where he's going. Some think he has a secret past. But I think he has a great ambition. ambi-tion. It's my idea he wants to go down In history as the one who was not commissioned a colonel on the staff of the governor of Kentucky. Opportunities of Youth. T N THE brave days before '28 the A future of an ambitious young graduate was assured. He sold bonds. Statistics show there was a salesman for every bond. Shortly Short-ly thereafter, any fellow who owned a bond was his own salesman. sales-man. I -still have some very beautiful ones which I'd like to swap for a pair of moss-agate cuff buttons, a ukulele, a collection of postage stamps or what have you? Then followed the dreary years when the youth with a diploma had nowhere to head in desperate, hopeless years. But now now he needn't worry any more about a career. ca-reer. It's all fixed. He can step out of college right Into a CCC camp. The Return of Prosperity. GOOD times are certainly coming com-ing back at least to the fur business. I hear prices are so high that only the wealthier minks can afford their own skins; the rest of them will go through the winter wearing dyed rabbit. I went to a party and nearly every ev-ery woman there was up to her ears ln ermine or chinchilla or silver sil-ver fox or some other very exclusive exclu-sive peltry. There was one large lady who had on at least three kinds of expensive wild animals. If somebody had left the door open, her wrap would have stolen right , back to the zoo. It's fine prosperity is returning. Wouldn't It be grand if, instead of being visited on a favored few, It could be passed around? Crooning to Oysters. THE professional crooner has found his musical soul-mate. It's our famous Pacific coast hl-valve, that winsome creature which is about the size of a suspender button. but-ton. A Seattle judge experimented on the harmonic affinities of shell fish. He couldn't get anywhere with the clam, clams ' being proverbially dumb, but, working on our cunning little native oyster, he first established estab-lished its natural vibration, then found a note to correspond. Do that, and an oyster opens right up. "They open easiest," says the discoverer, dis-coverer, "when crooners are performing." per-forming." Now let's establish what form of animal life responds spiritually to a columnist. IRVIN S. COSB North American Newspaper Alliance. " Inc. W."U Service. |