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Show SPEAKING OF CONVENTIONS Washington has now put a ban on conventions, which strikes us as strictly okay. A convention is a rendezvous ren-dezvous of agitated citizens whose wives will accept no other excuse or a week's absence from home. It is a noisy gathering of middle-aged middle-aged men who think that fighting for a hotel room is good for their morale. It is a huddle in lobbies and ban-juct ban-juct halls of let's-get-together once year to see if the competitors have iged much. It is a gandy-dance by men who think spending a week trying to get In and out of elevators comes under the head of business promotion. The whole idea of conventions was started by the railroads and hotel people and perpetuated by the aspirin tablet Industry. The theory is that a convention is good for whatever line the delegates are in. But nobody has ever returned from one in shape to be any help to the boss for 30 days. And his back home discomforts are always added to by the discovery discov-ery he lost his watch, packed a pillow pil-low case instead of his pajamas and can't remember the four fellows he aad a fight with. Conventions are a, series of lost motions concerning matters that could all be better settled by mail. A delegate spends $25 a day doing nothing he couldn't do by postcard, except denounce the phone girl. By staying home he could have avoided fallen arches, acidosis, the scrap with the taxicab driver and those foolish words to the manicure girl. We know men with national reputations repu-tations for sagacity and solid sense who will travel 1,000 miles, spend a week in a bum hotel, get ptomaine poisoning, pay 40 cents for a soft-boiled soft-boiled egg and consider it all comes jnder the head of demonstrating routine business acumen. And we can name gents famed for old-fashioned thrift who come to the big city and pay 25 cents just to get their own hat back. A convention is a device for bringing bring-ing to distant points men who think they can only develop bright ideas If their eyes are full of train cinders. The only thing we can say in fa-vor fa-vor of a convention Is that it gives a fellow a chance to slap on the back and say "Hello, J. D. How's tricks?" to an associate who otherwise refuses to be friendly ex- cept by letter. You listen to 10 speeches, 18 lectures lec-tures and 100 committee reports but you still go home without finding out why a glass of milk in a hotel should cost a half-dollar. The Real New York How silly the idea that the spirit of New York is found on Broadway! Broad-way! That is where millions of visitors vis-itors concentrate, thinking they are seeing the real Gotham. But we took Bur semi-annual hike along the downtown down-town water front a few days ago and know better. The great docks teeming with life, the countless freighters loading up with vital supplies, sup-plies, the tugs huffing and puffing around the bay, the coast guard ships (of all types and shapes), the sailors, soldiers and seamen from all ports of the world; and over i1 all an atmosphere of serious energy, hard work and accomplishment thai makes the Times Square area look like a mere dizzy zone. Super Gal . A wonder woman surely Is Mrs. Esther Cramps: She really can keep track of Her good and no-good stamps. Lift the Steins! The navy department has ruled that the fleets may carry beer and ale for the sailors to drink ashore. But red tape being what it sometimes some-times is in the services, we hope the boys don't get ashore with a few cases of beer and find Washington forgot the "openers." It came as a surprise to this department de-partment to learn that not sinc Josephus Daniels made the navy bone dry 25 years ago has an American Amer-ican warship carried anything bui soft stuff. Restoration of beer wili do more for naval morale than Leyte. Summary III diddle diddle. The butch in the middle, The cow jumps over the ceiling; ceil-ing; The customers just Yell "Sirloin or bust!" And it all leads to choice double-dealings. The Barnum - Bailey circus announces an-nounces that it will have metal cir cus Beats next season. We knew some use was bound to be found for those old razor blades. |