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Show Sabout: U Prcient-Day Sissies. " QUANTA MONICA, CALIF. 0 Our ancestors, the men and women who whittled this country out of ramping wilderness wilder-ness they were different, although al-though perhaps difficult to get along with. They'd fight you over almost any Issue tlieir personal per-sonal rights, tlieir public wrongs, tlieir national prin- -a5i ciples, tlieir pri- r-' v a t e prejudices, 1 ; tlieir outer buun-Lgis, buun-Lgis, ' daries, tlieir lnter-yX? lnter-yX? Y? ? nal policies. They ' f fought one anoth- Cs er; they f011"1" I c-i K foreign powers. But, B t' excusing p o 1 1 1 1 - F - clans and profes- VS ' v si o nal whiners, -zi-i they di(In.t d0 suej, Irvin S. Cobb an awful lot of fretting over the painfully primitive conditions of a pioneering life. We, their children, with too many laws we won't enforce, en-force, too many criminals we won't punish, too many unjust taxes we won't rebel against we complain about everything. It's as though a race of eagles bred a breed of worms that turn only to turn the other cheek. I guess we're getting get-ting peevishly flabby. I woke up this morning feeling as flabby as a- cold flapjack, and I don't know when I've been peevish-er. peevish-er. So I sat down and wrote this. N.B. And never mind telling me that a worm hasn't any cheek. I know that as well as you do. Van Sweringen's Passing. RANTED, that in these shift- vJ lng times there Is a somewhat prevalent tendency to regard it this way and be governed accordingly: for a man to have been a success Is a crime, but to have been a fall-ore fall-ore Is a profession. Even so, there's still a thrill, reading of the career of M. J. Van Sweringen. Horatio Alger might have written him. He starts life a3 a newsboy In Cleveland. Today, at fifty-four, he lies dead there. How many millions he left, nobody no-body knows. Probably he didn't much care. It must have been the sport and not the size of the game-bag game-bag that made him a dominant fig- --sre in railroading and finance. 7 ... The Source of an Idea. IRAN across It the oilier day this ancient one. Shipwrecked mariners In crisis. Sea rising, life raft sinking beneath them, no rescue craft In sight. Situation Sit-uation seems to call for professions of faith. But no body can quote from the Scripture, nobody can sing a hymn, nobody even knows a prayer. Desperately, the mate speaks up : "Men, we gotta do somethln' pious let's pass the hat." I read that antique wheeze and in a flash the puzzle was solved. Now I know where they got the original idea those economic wizards wiz-ards In and out of congress, who, In times like these, bob up with various va-rious theories, but all aimed at the fuime purpose; namely, that financial finan-cial security can be restored and by giving industry a chance to recuperate, re-cuperate, but by taking away the previous fruits of Industry. Hollywood's Newest Grievance. HOLLYWOOD sentiment Is that those alleged polygamlsts recently re-cently on trial over at Kingman, In Arizona, should be penalized for breaking the rules. You see, the curious colony up there In the desert des-ert favors having a lot of wives all at once, whereas the Hollywood championship team prefers various wives, one at a time, which prevents pre-vents confusion and works out to the same gratifying high scores In the end. But no matter how the law may serve those Arizona husbands, I would put In a plea for the female co-defendants charged with marrying marry-ing 'em so copiously. For I'v Just soon some newspaper pictures of the male prisoners. Gentlemen of the jury. If they be true likenesses, like-nesses, those poor near -sighted women have suffered enough. Talk about being more sinned agalns' than sinning. That Banker's Identity. IF Till: 1'rosident won't name him, I shan't. But I'll bet anything anything I have left, I mean thai the distinguished bunker who toll1 lilm tills country could snfely gr In debt for quite a ' lot more billions bil-lions Is the s:ime financial wizard who counseled me about my rt.-ilntj little Investments in 'the blithe, braw d:iys before WJfl. It certain!? sounds like the same follow. On second thought, maybe not Because the last I heard of mj 4 banker, be was sitting by tht steam-pipes at a county poor farm back Last, telling the other Inmates about an Infallible system for bent lng those stock market hoys. Ynr. see. he was sucker enough to fol low his own advice. Can you Imagine? Im-agine? IRVIN S. COBB. Q North American X.,w.-pnpr Alliance. Inc. WNU SrvU-A. |