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Show LIGHTS OF NEW YORK WALTER TRUMBULL I Dr. Hartley B. Alexander, noted philosopher and author, has ben visiting vis-iting New York. He told me of a man and his wife he heard arguing on the brink of the Grand canyon. It seems the man was a contractor, and that he was bent on demonstrating to his sceptical better half that the canyon could be filled up. and estimating esti-mating the number of truck loads of stone and dirt that the job would require. re-quire. To those who have seen the place, it would appear that the man was taking in a lot of territory. Two women on a bus were talking, so loudly that one couldn't help hearing hear-ing what they said some seats away. One was extolling the desirability of living in a certain part of the West. She said that her son would not live anywhere else and named a small town. "It is the only place to go," she said. "Well, yes, the days are hot there. Yes, some of the night's are hot there, too. But my son wouldn't think of living anywhere else. And it is a great town for business." "What is your son's business?" inquired in-quired her companion. "He is an undertaker," ;aid the woman, "and once he got five jobs in one night." These doctors of philosophy and science tell some funny stories. When Dr. A. V. Kidder of Carnegie institution insti-tution was doing some archeological work at Pecos, New Mexico, tourists used to stop and evince great curiosity curi-osity in the operations. They asked all sorts ot unusual questions. One day, in the midst of such a conversation, conver-sation, a man said: "My name's Spiderwhistle. What's yours ?" "Kidder," replied the archeologist. "Gee!" said the man. 'What a funny name!" It was at another site that Doctor Kidder was down in a trench, excavating ex-cavating a skeleton. When a skeleton Is perhaps 500 yeurs old, work ot excavation ex-cavation has to be carried on with the most minute care. Doctor Kidder Kid-der was engrossed in his work when he suddenly became conscious of a tourist peering at him Intently from the ground above. "Did he die there," asked the visitor breathlessly, "or did he fall in?" An author who had been called to Hollywood actually met one of the heads of the movie firm for which he was supposed to be working. He asked him what he thought of his story. "You should excuse me speaking out," said the magnate. "I think it is terrible and lousy." "That's all right," said the author. "I always have heard you were a great fellow for innuendo." Corey Ford, author of several books and a very prolific all around writer, is highly incensed. A publisher, of wliom he had never heard, wrote to him saying that he had happened to see an article if Mr. Ford's in a magazine mag-azine and that if he ever wrote anything any-thing else he would be glad to consider con-sider it. There is a woman whose one parlor trick is her ability to imitate perfectly per-fectly the cries and gurgles of a baby. But where she has the most fun with this accomplishment is in a sleeping car. She has the porter and other travelers searching the place for the supposed infant in distress. (0. 1931 Bell Svniilcate-1 WNU Service. |