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Show Nssr Tragedy. A Pittsburgh millionaire stood beside be-side his $8,000,000 automobile wondering wonder-ing where to go next A woman whom be had known rushed out of the hotel and sought to solve this problem for blm In a hurry. She shot at him, but. of course, she did not hit him. Instead the bullet punctured the chauffeur's leg. "Great guns, that was a narrow es- cape!" exclaimed the millionaire. "She might have punctured a tire!" He Kept His Seat The suffragette was speaking. "I'll bet there ain't a man In this audience who ever did anything around tbe house for bis wife. If there Is a man In this room that ever made the fire, milked the cow, cleaned the windows and made the beds every day without a kick I'd like to see him, that's all." Hut ahe forgot ber husband was at the meeting. And be dldu't dare stand up! Maid Had Helped. Young Van Windle waited nervously nervous-ly In tho parlor for Julia to appear. He had been sitting there, t Milling bis thumbs, for half an hour. Finally a step was beard In the ball and bo rose to his feet expectantly. Hut it was not Julia. It was ber maid. "Marie," said tho Impatient young man, "what keeps your mistress so long? la she making up her mind whether she'll see me or not?" "No, sir," answered the maid with a wise smirk. "It isn't her mind she's making up." Treason. "Wny did Uinhack leave California?" Califor-nia?" "He waa forrec out because be wouldn't brng about the climate." Indianapolis In-dianapolis Star. Smooth Idea. "Gracious! What baa your l.ttlo boy got on his pants?" "Furniture polish. Those are the pants he polishes the banisters with.'" Mixed Up. "Did that play make out in Its run?" "Yes, Indeed ! Wby, It was a walkover." walk-over." It sometlres bsppena that a boy learns sons' very good habits by not following In the footsteps of bis father. |