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Show Peggy's Threat. William It. Hotchklu, president of the Fphlnx club, said of advertising, at the club's recent banquet at tho Waldorf-Astoria, In New York: "Honest advertising and honest good.) are the only methods that pay. The public wants honest goods. Advertise Ad-vertise them then, honestly, and the toy public will respond like Peggy. "'Pegy.' said Sandy. 'AU'm sayln,' Peggy, will Ah kiss yer cheek?" "If ye dues,' suld IVssy. 'Ah'M skreich." 'Oh!' said Sandy, "dlnna skreich. '"An" don't ye kiss me on Ihe ' nooth, then,' said l-eggy, 'for If ye did Ah rouUlna skreich at all.'" Cincinnati Cincin-nati F.nquirer, Women and Suffragetts. On his visit to America. Father Vaugiian of Ixmdon (called In Chesterton Ches-terton "the Mayfulr priest who makes the comfortable classes feel uncomfortable") uncom-fortable") was asked: "Would you five votes to women': ' "I would make no difficulty about rlvlni; votes to women," he answered, nut, you understand," ho added, with twinkling eyes, "once you give votes to women the suffragettes would be wanting- them also." Sucess M.iga-tine. M.iga-tine. The Test. Host Well, Jones, have you looked over my new dining room? Jones Oh. yes, very carefully. Host How do you like It? Jones I'll tell you that better after dinner Ally Sloper's Half Holiday. His Drawing Power. "Your husband draws so well. I think," snld the caller, "and he seems to be Just as clever at landscapes as at figures." "Yes." replied the wife of the amateur am-ateur artist. "He draws well at every-th'n every-th'n except a salary." Judge. Complicated. "Where's that umbrella 1 lent you," "Jones borrowed it. Why?" "Oh. nothing. Only the fellow I borrowed ii from says the owner has teen asking for It." Why She Was Sorry. Norah Ol's sorry to say, sorr, that Miss (ilddy Isn't in. The Caller (facetiously) Why are you sorry, NoraU? Norith Hecau.se, sorr, it's the tl-(ctt tl-(ctt sthory Oi ever told. The First Cause. "I sir." remarked the Indignant cltlzt a, "am a taxpayer." "Well," remarked the political boss, "you have me to thank. You wouldn't be nearly as much of a taxpayer as 7ou are c.cep'ln? fur my enorts." A Pessimist. You should ride a horse." "Can't afford it," said the apprehensive appre-hensive person. j "Hut it will give you an appetite." ' Perhaps. Hut it will du the same tor the horse." Tax the Rascals. "Marrlape," remarked the professor, as a rite practiced by the ancients an-cients " "Afiij ba( h- lort.O'id." interrupted a maiden of 1). "I a wrong practiced ty 1 Le t: ol r.;s." |