| Show fL fLy r y LP i A R l M STUDIES IN TilE THE GAS SHORTAGE Out of luck luckIs Is Wilbur Wrenn He thought of ot gas At 7 10 Sad indeed Is Arthur Bott Batt 8 p. p m. m m.- m. And he forgot Shed a tear For Minnie Wray Her friend used all Her gas by day dayl I 1 Weep for John J. J Applegate The gas man said Youre just too late Sympathize With Nells Nell's friend Joe He only said My watch was slow Do not laugh 4 At Johnson Will WilD He called on her Jt t With just one gilL The ladies ladies' pride Is Wallace Wright S SHe He saves his bis gas gasTo gasTo To drive by night Oh Ob lucky egg l. l Is Luther Mix The gas shack clock r. r v Had stopped at six And Is Barnett He never sold That HORSE AND BUGGY HINTS INTS FOR GAS Sl SAVINGS SLOGANS Harold Ickes has labored and come forth with a sticker I AmUsing Am AmUsing AmUsing Using One Third Less Gas as a terrific weapon In the drive to save fuel Well to this department it seems feeble trite and Ineffective especially when dealing with human beings who have bave shaken off their real skin and donned the tough hide bide of automobilIsts Nobody reads the stickers on a windshield not even the fellow who pastes them on l If they are to be used however why not put a kick in em Something Something Something Some Some- thing along this line I Am Not a Hog Even When inan inan In Inan an Auto I Wouldn't Cripple Uncle Sam Just for a Few Extra Miles of Touring Tour Tour- ing ingI I Put Patriotism Above Petro Petro- leum America First Picnicking Sec ond Im Stepping on Hitler Not on the Accelerator Id Rather Lay Up My Car Than Lay Up My Future Of course In this crisis there Is bound to be the fellow who takes the attitude I only regret I have bave but one limousine to give for tor my country Washington announces that boneless boneless bone bone- less beef is making a hit in the navy Its It's better than bones Defense bonds and stamps are to tobe tobe tobe be sold through dry goods stores etc And we know a lady Indy who is going to wait for them to advertise a special sale What this country needs Is unity declared the orator as he proceeded to insult all who disagreed with his personal opinions on the crisis The idea of ot tipping railroad porters porters por pore ten cents per bundle or bag Is Isnow isnow isnow now being denounced by both porI porters porters por por- I and railroads But nothing they can say would equal the strong language language lan Ian guage being used by the traveling public It has never believed there was an iota of fairness in paying 40 cents to have bave a n porter carry a coat a brief case a hat box and a book while the fellow tellow with the bass violin and the doghouse got off with 20 Im Ima l Dodo calls her auto an Ickes Ickes- mobile because it has bas become just justa coach conch a day Those Churchill photos In conference conference confer confer- ence with Mr Roosevelt must make a lot of ot advertisers wish they knew what kind of a cIg cigar lr he smoked Eleven oil companies are to send billions to pump oil to the East It sounds like a pipe dream SUCCESS SECRET An authors author's life lie is often hard Until he gets a book th that's lt's barred Merrill Chilcote The United States Golf Gol association h has lS rescinded its rule prohibiting golfers goUers in regular tournaments from ceasing play during a lightning storm They may now stop temporarily tern tem If they think they are in danger it says Boy theres there's what wha we call consideration even if it it does docs expose an unnecessarily slow back swing 0 |
