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Show Chatter Box Dear Suzy, The Salt Lake Telegram had a picture of the sign over the door of Carl Dorius' establishment. (Carl sells some kind of victuals such as hamburgers, hot dogs and ' pop corn). The sign said "We'll close Friday at 5.30 p. m. I'M Getl TING MAHRIED1 Open Saturday regular hours." ij The Telegram was making fun : of Carl for Closing to get married, ;! but I believe a guy can take off j 30 minutes from his work any time to get married, if he wants to, pro- vided, of course, he isn't already encumbered by one wife or more, j This contingency can hardly be ! looked forward to, though, as peo- ! pie are generally a little skittish ! about taking on other entangle- ! ments whey they are already in- : ' volved. Two more people are clamoring at the doors of that august and dignified group known as "The Society of Ditch Jumpers Who Did Not Make It." They seek member-i member-i ship this year before the water is turned out of the ditches and the club will hold no more meetings until spring brings back the wind and the ditches running full. The first candidate is Wanda Beckwith and she bases her request re-quest for entry into the society on the grounds that she fell on her j base at Fish Lake while trying to , I entice a fish to become snarled in , : her flies. Skinny, it seems, hurried i to get out of the boat and wade : out from shore to cast a nasty fly at those dopey trout, but overdid her enthusiasm by not taking pro-; pro-; per care of one foot before the other, and the next thing she knew she was sitting down In the water still clutching her rod while little rivulets of water were playing play-ing about her midriff. Those reporting the occasion say it was rather a shock to look out into the fast falling darkness and see Skinny seated there in the water. It took her a long time to get her breath and also her speech and when she did, it is reported, her first utterances were hardly the words that should come from a woman holding a responsible Primary position as she does. That part I will have to censor. Fuzz consoled, "I hope you didnt break the rod, Skin." To which statement there was a reply but mumbled so as to be unintelligible, but i can readily guess what Wanda Wan-da thought of doing with the rod for such a callous remark as was made by Fuzz. The report that Skinny toughed it out and caught twice as many fish as Fuzz, as many as Ward Killpack, and 2 to 0 against Dorothy Doro-thy Killpack and Hal Killpack. If you have to go to the extreme of taking a sitz bath in cold water in preparation to going fishing, I for one, am not in favor of fishing as it has too many hazards and uncomfortable moments. The party was real good to her though, on the return trip and hour and a half after she fell on her derriere. They had borrowed Doc Bird's outboard motor, reported to have run once some years back, and they couldn't start it on the return trip so they let her row the mile and a half home to keep her warm. Trying to jump Fish Lake is impossible, and I don't think the society will let her in unless they feel that any fisherman or fisher-woman fisher-woman is qualified to automatically automatic-ally belong, as they know that in the course of the angler's life thre will come a time when he finds himself all wet. Pulling head gates out of ditches hardly qualifies one for membership member-ship but Mary Moody has put in her application to join, on that premise. Mary, it is reported, was irrigating the lot at their home, and wanting the water to go down the ditch after she had successfully success-fully completed the irrigation, gave a mighty heave of the board. The board did not come loose, so Mary gave an even mightier tug. Still the board failed to come out. At this point Mary's temper was swelling swel-ling up and she was going to show that board a thing or two, or else. Spitting on her hands, straddling the ditch, taking a firm hold, and then putting all of the old college do or die in it she gave her last tug. This proved too much for the board and it parted company from the gate, but rather suddenly, and so suddenly that Mary did a double flip-flop backwards and landed in the dith flat on her back while the water took all the permanent out of her hair. It was all quite sudden for Mary and she was astounded as-tounded to think that at one time she was standing over a head gate and within a matter of split seconds she was flat on her back while water was coming from very-where, very-where, and descending upon her, and not a drop to drink. ' It was Nora Mortensen's turn to irrgiate her lot and she knew that Mary had gone down to turn the water down to her. Still the water did not come, so she went to investigate. in-vestigate. Still in the ditch she found Mary, who unlike Wanda, had lost all of her temper after the cold dousing and was lieing in the water giggling like a school girl. Nora couldn't do anything about getting Mary out and was about to dig a ditch around Mary so she could go on with her irrigating, when Amanda Whicker came tosee what was so funny and why Mary was laughing so. The two of them got the giggling Mary out and she went home for dry clothes, Nora went back to irrigating, and A-manda A-manda just shook her haid and said, "such goings on." Mary may get into the society just because she lingered in the water longer than most have done, and too, it was late in the season, and the club wants to build their new home, so they are taking in all members they can get so as to raise more fnuds. Now that summer is drawing to a close husbands of Garden Club members can begin to heave a sigh of relief and gratitude that meetings are about done. Their sigh of relief comes from the fact that Verl Love Me Love My Flowers Flow-ers Jacobson, champion hog caller of Oak City, Fool Creek Flat and Clay Springs, will not be on hand at any more meetings, where he was the only male among a large assemblage of females. Verl has-nto has-nto married, as yet, because he cant' find a wife who will do the farm work while he does the garden gar-den work and keep the petunias sprayed. So those husbands who do have wives (I guess all husbands hus-bands have wives) are in a constant con-stant state of jitters worrying a-bout a-bout their wives leaving them to make their home in Oak City where their husband will really do the garden work instead of giving advice all the time. If Verl does have and ronmances in store a frost will nip it in the bud, so to speak, and the husbands can rest easy on their cue sticks, certain that for awhile things are under control at the homestead. Comes next year the hope of the husbands is that Verl will have a wife and will have to stop puttering putter-ing in the garden and go to work. I'll bet there would be a lot of happy husbands who would attend his wedding dance, and the sighs of relief would mount up to symphonic sym-phonic proportions. Everybody in West Millard is keeping their fnigers crossed hoping hop-ing that the frost will stay away long eough to ripen the second crop seed. If it does beat the frost and get ripe five dollars bills will take the place of napkins in these parts. People will have so much money the bank will get around to the point where they don't have any overdrafts any more. 1 Of course, there are two schools of thought about this prospective prosperity. One school is all for it, while the other doesn't care so much whether the crop ripens or not. They maintain it would be less hazardous walking or driving if the frost comes, than to have a million dollar seed crop and then have to wade or drive around thru peddlers and salemen three deep. I believe they have something there, but I prefer to see the seed crop mature. If it does we can all move to California and Arizona for the winter and leave the peddlers pedd-lers and salesfen here to put the bite on each other, Toots. |