OCR Text |
Show b pin i HMmwOTom i i i M ,!!!. 'l"lll . c5r7Gr H WHEREABOUTS OF CLARENCE. BH There was a young publisher In H New York who niado a "sudden" for H tune hy appealing to a certain elc- M incut of the smart set. Having rnudc H Mb pile, the young man retired and M wns seen leas and Ichh In his old H H "Where's Clarence?" Rome one asked m of a former business associate of the M young man. H "Oh," wan the reply, "Clarence Is up- H town now wanning IiIh hnndH nt the M social register." M In a Quandary. - "Have you finished with those let- fl ters yet, Miss founders P , naked the M busy ninn of affairs. M "All but the one you told me to com. M potto to your wife, snylng you wero M well and there was nothing to write H B "Do you er want mo to make tt M nffectlonntc or formal?" H HARD WORK H "Surely you want your little wife 1 to do you credit when ahe'a out In m society?" M "Yes, but I have to do my creditors M t' keep you dressed eo aa to do me H credit." i ' H A Trial Then. H " A motorcar J"T H p ' Is loU of run ' jj M Unless tho blamo thine !l H , Will not run. rj H Ought to Be There. H "Hnvo you the 'Laughing Sinn,' by H Victor Hugo?" M "1 don't know, tna'am," said the B new clerk, "but wo have a largo us- Hj Bortacnt of Joko books In tho rear. m Step this way, plcnse." M Too Valuable to Lose. B Mrs. Uenpeck Good gracious I This H la ridiculous! Here Is n woman claim- B lag $15,000 eoiupenmttlou for tho loss B of her thumb! H Mr. Benpeck Perhaps it was tho B thumb she kept her husband under. H Btrny Stories. H Smell Profit M The situation has reached an acute M istagc. M "You forget, John Henry," she said, B -"that we must profit by our mistakes." B "The only man who profited by our B mistakes was the clcrgymau who mar- H rled us," snapped John Henry. Lon H don Tlt-Ults. H NOT PARTICULAR H "Now you may kbvi my hand." H "No thank you, your lips are quite Hj good enough for me." H Just Like a Girl. H fine stood before, the mirror BBS With her eyes closed vary tight, BBBJ And tried to nee JubI how she looked BBS When fast asleep lit night. H Easy to Oct. H Harper "My wife Is suffering from H tthell shock." fl Smart "Impossible !" H Harper "Not at nil. At breakfast H today she broke an egg that had seen H better days." London Answers. H No H The Salesman A nice birthday H sift for your hushund, eh? Huw B would this safety bill-fold milt? Im- H possible to open without the key, H Airs. Just'wed Why. I think thnt H -would be perfectly horrid. H Difference, Anyhow. H " Old Man Nothlug Is certain "but H tuxes and death. H Young Man Yes; but death comes H only once, while the taxes come early H ind often! London Tlt-Bltb. |