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Show THAT REMINDS ME- J Atlanta Constitution: It is warm enough now to roast beefsteak op, the roof, but, ; unfortunately, beefsteak is even higher j than the roof, w k We have all been praying for ram. but we have at last reached the conclusion that the wind is still in the wrong direc- lThe mercury went so high yesterday that we failed to locate It with a spyglass. spy-glass. Judge: "Lije Haekett lows as how he'll go to London to see the corrynation," announced an-nounced Mr. Higgles. "Yep," answered Mr. P.annit; an I ; spose heil bother th' life o' u3 tellln about it just as we begin to git a rest . on his stories about what he saw at tn j worl's fair, down in Chicago." " Yonkers Statesman: Hall The author j j tried very hard to make a clean play of - that drama. J Stall How do you know? HallWhy, didn't you notice that girl . j come in five or six times during each, j act and dust off, the furniture? f? .3- i New York Journal: The Elephant-Do you suppose that naturalist really learned j to understand your language? j The monkey I hope not! You arter heard some of the thins we called him while he was studying us. 4 ! Kansas City Star: "Next to knowing j what you're talking about." says the Al- falfa Sage, "It is the most essential to S know whom yoi are talking to." London Globe: This conversation wa3 overheard in the park not long ago: "How l did you like 'Faust'?" f "Oh! we enjoyed it immensely; you , know. Jack is so fond of Shakespeare a plavs." It reminds one of the old story 4 of the would-be literary young lady who ; was asked which of Scott's novels she 1 liked best. Scott's 'Ivanhoe,'" Scott a "Talisman." or Scott's "Emulsion," and 1 I ! instantly decided in favor of th9 last. j I Philadelphia Press: Ma Willie, what's j your little brother crying for? j I Willie Aw just because he don't want I to learn anything. I just took his candy i and showed him how to eat it. i Philadelphia Record: " 'Good wine needs no bush,' " quoted the teacher. "Now. can anyone tell what that means?" "I guess," replied the saloonkeeper's son. "it means you can make it with alcohol and logwood good enough to fool most people." Boston Post: 'Why do you spit on yout bait?" asked the city angler sarcastically j of the boy with the bent pole and knotted . line. "Huh!" replied the urchin. "That's a fool question. I've ketched four fish since j you got here, an' you haven't had a bite." Chicago Tribune: Cholly I'm going to j rpend my vacation on the broad plains . j of the west. I want to give my mind a chance to expand. s Birdie Going to have something done 1 tg your head? I S S Chicago Daily News: She had just handed him the icy mitt. "You are a heartless woman," he hissed in a tone -: i seventeen degrees more bitter than qui- 4 i nine, "but, thank heaven, I have at last , I found you out-" '. j "Be it so," rejoined the human refriger- ) ator, "and. what is more, you will con- j A tinue to find me out hereafter should you s ? call." t t I v A yy f V 'V W i Chicago Record-Herald: "This country." t j said the owner of the Blue Streak, "is , j getting simply unfit for a gentleman to f ,i live in. I ran oveF a little girl yesterday, v end when I offered to pay her father a ; f reasonable amount, tbe brute eot a club . and would have assaulted me if it hadn't j been for the police." j "The unreasonableness of the lower 1 classes," replied the owner of tha Yellow i Pemon. "almost passes comprehension." j ! New York Sun: Cohesion (patronizing- j : ly) My vlfe von't llf in der suburbs on I account of der mosquitoes. r ! Houseanlot So? Well, mine won't live r j In the city because she's afraid of fire- . bugs. ! A 4 l Exchange: "Why didn't you tell ; Tousrhboy that he lied?" s "My telephone is out of order." S fc Nw York Sun: "He was between the I I devil and the deep sea." j "And what was the result?" j j "He didn't take water." - " Indianapolis News: "Jerry," said Fla- f herty. "wot hov' ye been doin' wld all ; t the money ye've been makln' since ye're ; in politics?'7 i & S , New York Weekly: First Congressman - You have voted against every measure s that was for the best interests of the na- : j tion. What will you say to your con- ! Stituents when jou get home? , ' i Second COngreasman-r-Say? I'll tell 'eta ij f I've got an appropriation for JIud, crek. j-j j i 1 |