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Show J THAT REMINDS ME-- NATURALLY.. Mr Ferguson (with a shiverl-The fir-seems fir-seems to be about to go to sleep. Mr. Ferguson with a yawn) Well, it shakedown. LIGHTNING CHANGE. "Vaudeville performer, isn't she?" "She was until she sot into the han.i.-of han.i.-of the press agent. She's an artiste now. CORRECT TO THE LAST. "Anvhow." chuckled the somewhat fastidious fas-tidious horsethiet". as the regulators adjusted ad-justed the noose about his neck, ' it lsti r a ready-made tie." A TWO-FOLD SURPRISE. "Miss Alice." said the nervy young man, man, "l think I will marry you." "Indeed? Two very remarkable statements, state-ments, sir!" "Two! How two?" "One that vou will marry me; the other that you think." Baltimore News. THE TOBACCO CURE. Jigfelier Oh. yes; it's great medicine, all right! Three months aao the only pleasure f bad in life was smoking. Dr. Mendemall And now Jifeller Now. I havent' any plcasurt in life. Doc Chicago News. WHAT COUNTS. "We are here," began the chairman of the committee, "to discuss ways and means for securing the passage of our Dili oy me le.gisiaiuie. "Well." remarked one who was something some-thing of a lobbyist, "I know the surest ot all wavs if "we only have sufficient means." Philadelphia Press. HER VERSION. "Yes." said Mrs. Sliptung. "it's true. Aunt Ann insisted that her remains should be cremated, and we're going to have it done, it' we can find a creamery. ' OI'GHT TO SUCCEED. Dick I say, Harry, I sunpofc you haven't a dollar you want to lend me? Karry By George, you've guessed right! Dick, with your ability to see into the future you ought to be worth your weight in money. Boston Transcript. ! THE BARGAIN SPIRIT. He (desperately) T havp proposed to you fifteen times. This is the last. and. in the words of the auctioneer. "Goina at two dollars! Going, going! Who'll make it two-fifty?" She (involuntarily) Oh. George! If you will make it "two-forty-eight" I'll say yes. Judge. HE NEVER WENT THERE AGAIN. Hostess (at the party Miss Robinson has no partner for this waltz. Would you mind dancing with her instead of with me? Hawkard On the contrarv. I shall be delighted. Tit-Bits. PASSING IT ON. Ambrose Archibald's a mean fellow; he never will lend a dollar. Arthur Oh, he's not the worst; he always al-ways tells you of some other man who might lend it. Detroit Free Tress. STRANGERS NOW. "I can't think." said the girl with the Julia Marlowe dimple, "what made Algy act so strangely last night." "Did he propose to you at any time during the evening?" asked the girl with the Maude Adams nose, "Yes." "Then he must have been drinking." SINGULAR. " 'Tafn't a question of grammar." said Uncle Sam, With a grin on his wrinkled old phiz. "I'm the whole United States, b'gosh, And I say the United States is TV |