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Show WIT AND WISDOM. An Irishman was up in court In Wichita, charged with an offense of which he was not guilty. "What is your occupation.?" asked the judge. ; "Sailor," was the reply. "You don't j look like a sailor to me. I don't be-1 li-ive you Wf-re ever on a ship," f-aid! the judge. "X? you think 1 came over! from Ireland in a hack?" was the re-! tort. Kansas City Post. It is a miserable thing to live in suspense. sus-pense. It is the life cf a spider. IVith a strong will and prayer we can do everything. Being good is different from doing good, and much harder. Tou may as well tell your wife the truth. She'll find it out anyway. The true gentleman ... is seldom prominent in conversation and never wearisome. He makes light of favors while he does them, and seems to be receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort: he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him and Interprets everything for the best. Newman. Religicn may have many forms, but they ail have one face to love. O friend! O best of friends! Thy absence ab-sence more Than the impending night darkens the landscape o'er. Longfellow. Good breeding is the result of much good sense, some good nature and a little -self-denial for the sake of others. As a few strokes from a loving hand will soothe a weary forehead, so the gentle pressure of the wild grass soothes and strokes away the nervous tension born of civilized life. Jeffries. A bishop in full robes of office, with his gown reaching to his feet, was caching a Sunday school class. At the close, he said he would be glad to answer an-swer any questions. A little hand went up, and he asked: "Well, my boy?" "Can I ask?" said the boy. "Certainly," said the bishop; "what is it?" "Well," asked the boy, "is dem all you've got on, or do you wear pants under dem?" Advice offered gratis by one ignorant ignor-ant of the facts savors somewhat of impertinence. The fellow who will never let you forget that "he once did you a kindness" kind-ness" is no friend. Too many people mistake polite applause ap-plause for an encore. He who justifies the means by the end, will be judged by the means at the end. Poverty is no sin," but is the creator of many. |