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Show fH.Phfipr 2r RESTAURANT MEN ARISE! "Washington. A meeting of the Regional Re-gional Restaurant Convention was told by speakers here that restaurant owners own-ers should serve foods which would help national security. 'Restaurant men should put their knowledge of nutrition and diet to work in the canse of defense,' a speaker said. 'They can help improve the stamina of America.' Amer-ica.' " News Item. Elmer Twitchell was much interested inter-ested in the above item. As an old restaurant man himself, the idea absorbed ab-sorbed his interest "I think there's something in it," he declared. "You take a hamburger . . . The reporter reached out to take one, but Mr. Twitchell explained he was speaking figuratively. "Take a hamburger. There are hamburgers and hamburgers. I don't know how they rate PRV- in the matter of stamina, St but the kind many restau-Witr restau-Witr rants serve today certain-ly certain-ly make a man want to fight" "What about all-hots?" he was asked. "The all-hot rates about B plus in a defense program," explained Elmer El-mer solemnly, consulting m jtm his charts. "They are not g$5J only nutritious, but they fyJ are a national habit They Wjj are a part of the American ' system. Take our frankfurters and rolls away from us and our morale would undergo terrific damage." "How does the combo or ham and egg on rye rate in a national defense program?" "Our tests have shown," replied Elmer, "that a man cannot remain an adequate fighting unit pCga S as long on the combo as I jSSfll he can on a tnree'decker ESSyiJ liverwurst with lettuce and mayonnaise, but he is within one point ten of being as durable as a man who prefers a salami on a hard roll." ' "What about the minute steak?" "This minute steak business demands de-mands an immediate study," snapped Mr. Twitchell. "It , . covers too much territory. plPfiJ I ordered a minute steak jj sandwich in a fairly good RktogV restaurant last night. It unfitted me even for draft purposes by loosening all my front teeth." "How about chicken salad as an aid to national security?" "I understand there are places where chicken salad is chicken sal-- sal-- ad," replied Elmer, "but f7 i, .' J I have not been able to lo-ryicX. lo-ryicX. 1 cate 'em. There is nothing fgtrfj In the chicken salads I ' have ordered that would sustain a man through a minor skirmish skir-mish with a platoon of Singer midgets." midg-ets." "What about the cheeseburger sandwich? Could the nation put its trust in that in time of war?" "The war and navy departments have the cheeseburger under consideration con-sideration at this moment. Messrs. Stimson, Knox and others had a special spe-cial session to determine the proper prop-er place of the cheeseburger in any defense program," said Elmer. "How about beef stew and beans?" "Now you're talking sense," concluded con-cluded Elmer. "No matter what the restaurant man or the de-fense de-fense bodies may suggest, OyJi stew and beans are what (Jff I the fighting forces will get f j.jjj'j . . . and past perform- erfjlieesl ances show it ain't half bad." Reaction to the ASCAP-Radio War. I cannot get the old sweet songs; Somehow it strikes me funny That those who write of "love and you" Can think so much of money. Well, anyhow, the ban on all those song hits on the chain radios has killed off the fellow who was always asking for request numbers. The best slogan for America in the present crisis is reported on billboards bill-boards in Miami: "AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT." Germany has gone to the rescue of Italy. This may turn out to mark the introduction of a new type of German warfare: Rescue with pursuit, pur-suit, Observations. Misfortune, friends, befell me, I hate to walk an inch; I let some salesmen sell me A pair of shoes that pinch. Have yon broken any New Year's resolutions yet? This looks like a year when a good slogan for anybody is, "Never change skis in midair!" DEFENSE PROGRAM STUFF ("New army camps are at least a month behind schedule." News Item.) Last night I saw most everywh"a An army camp that wasn't there; It wasn't there again today I hope the foe will keep away! The present horizon To II Duce is "pizon." THE GIST OF IT Marshal Graziani's report, boiled down, would read, "I shoulda stayed in bed." |