Show I I Ir r FRAGMENTS OF FUN j I II I i iDid Did you ever love lore fm another girl as you ou love lo c me No indeed Id I'd Ill havo hav gone gone Into bankruptcy sure If hal Cleveland S Plain Denier Dealer r. r Is your your- our daughter learn learning ng to play the pl piano no by note Certainly not answered Mrs Mra se erel severely Wo We always pa pay cash News So the trust t magnate ha has retired from business has hns he hc How much do tie you suppose he cleaned up UI 1 Everything In iii sight but his bis record rec ord Chicago Chicago Tribune S L 43 Visionary 1 zy JI If son son-I If a man mami could only sell sol coal at the north pole or Ice ico In hades hates VI But son But But that's out o of the question I on I I know but gee just think of the the prices prices he lie could coult get Indignant Playwright to l leading actor behind the tho sc scenes nejl Confound it I it man youve you've absolutely murdered the tho piece Lea Leading Actor Pardon Actor Pardon me but I think the foul Coul pla play is yours yours our London Punch If I do logS dogs should form an empire great As men do who are wiser I wonder onder would their chief of state Be called the lie Grand Kal cled yi ser I St. St St. Nicholas Mrs Housel Did eop Did I understand you ou to s say you ou were looking for or work Polite Hobo That Hobo Holo That ma madame ame was not what I said ld nor nOI was it i what hat I J meant I said I r was looking for or em em- plo rent Philadelphia Press PIes Arc AlC you In favor ol Ca of government ownership ask asked d Meandering Mike riC No Xo answered Plo Plodding ding Pete Do only onh government go institutions dat date datIve datIve Ive I've e had any experience wit wi Is jails An de tIe e en n way deyme run dont don't make no 11 hit wit m me ashington Washington Sl Star r. r Our English tongue Is not a polite polte po po- lite one sail said sid a philologist t. t It I lacks s' s the polite polte expressions that the lie French and Italian tongues hn have havo ve For instance For instance said sll the plumb plumb- philologist gist you ou are c starting starling on a journey and a friend comes conies to S se sec you off I To M say the polite pole thing to tr you ou departing departing depart depart- ing your yom friend i lend must fall fal back on France He must say Bon Uon voyage Again you ou are ale about aboul to go o to din din- nCI micr Your YOU friend wishes to say ho lie hopes you ou will wi enjoy the meal meal He Ho must fall fal back lack on Fiance France again to sn say this gracefully Ho lie must use imse le the time French phrase phra o Bon Again you are arc going to bed and your yom friend hopes you ou will wi sleep well wel tie lie cant can't express this hope thou though h. h in any phrase of our impolite English Eng Fiig- his lish tongue He must tail fall Cal back hack on onIal Italy and anI Buon Huon Ial sa say S SPrank I Prank Frank Frnk J A. A dc described the theother theother theother other day lay the discomfiture of a n lawyer lawyer law lair yer club who had 1 been blackballed by a cub He lie was so mad mad said Mid Mr r Vander- Vander lip lp Ip that he lie actual actually had the tho nu audacity auda nuda- a- a city to write to tho the clubs club's cr secretary and ind demand the name of oC the man nian who had lial blackballed him The Tho secretary's reply to this outrageous outrageous out out- r al and absurd letter leter struck me mo moat rather at her neat neat It I was 5 Dear Sir SI I have havo received cl your otter letter demanding the name name of the tho person per per- son SOl who blackballed you Oll Ills His name minnie Is ii 3 Legion Thomas Thoma A. A Edison Elison was talking I about inventions A collection plate for Cor churches might be te invented he ho said with a 0 droll dal smie smile A collection plate To be sure HUIe Have Havu you OU never leel noticed no- no Iced how mote modest t people are aro In drop- drop mone money into the collection plate They Thuy dont don't want any ono one to I se siy yo you know enow how extremely generous are arc their heir thel contributions Now my mr Idea Iden for fo a collection plate pInto would ho bo one with wIh slots The rhe silver coll half half dollars qua quarters and ami Imos would fall fail tal through h their respective re- re slots Into a In velvet lined d compartment com com- but hut tho ho nickels elx an and ponies pon pel- pel ales ies falling th through ough would woul Ing a boll 1011 like liko a cash 1 register I J S. S I 4 J. J o S L. L i f 4 2 f f |