Show FABLES IN SLANG a By GEORGE ADE ADB r sw foal A It Successful Comic THREE DRAMATIC CRITICS ANY years ago when M MANY Morning Papers were still sUll published In the Morning and the Oyster Stew could be had for 25 Cents there lived Jived ona on ona ona a crowded Street In n one of our growing growIng growing grow grow- ing Cities three Urchins bearing the names of Patsy Doremus and Filmore All had received a Lib Lily LIberal Liberal eral Education at an Early Age and could could- whistle through their Teeth without the aid of the Fingers Whenever this Trio could muster enough of the Needful they thel would pool their Interests and bo buy scats seats In to the Gallery for they were keen Devotees of the Thespian Art In n those Palm Palmy Days when ever every good PIa Play had about eight gallons of Blood mood In It the they Idolized the Hero whose Shirt was wal open In Front When he be drew his hla trusty Rifle and severed the Rope nope just as a's as the Outlaw Outlaw Out Out- law Jaw Gang was about to hang Hank the Trapper to the Blasted Oak they whooped and yelled They were partial to the low Comic In 10 Plaid Clothes who stepped out from behind a painted Rock Hock at the tho Critical Moment and flashed his 44 and said No r you yon dont don't I l Likewise the kittenish Soubrette with the Oakum Wig and the pallid Heroine who got all of the Dirty Deals up to that supreme moment In Act V when the Stage Father with flour on his hair said Officer do your lour Dot Duty I and a Stage Hand wearing loose Whiskers entered at Rl Rh Rland and put the Nippers on the Villain with the Cape Coat More than anything else elso they loved the Sentimental Song which went over so big In the preceding Century The typical Ballad was like the drip of Honey or the smell ameli of Perfumery PATSY THE BUDDING GENIUS CENIUS Of all the Stars who twinkled In those happy hapPl gone by-gone Days the One On that they were especially Nuts about was our old friend Billy Dilly Em Em- erson arson He lIe had bad a silvery slivery Tenor and every Move was a Picture Often the three Youngsters would tr try to imitate some of the Footlight Favorites and especially that super super- essence of face Black refinement yin Mr ir Emerson Doremus was absolutely N. N G. G He De had a voice like a Tree Toad and both his Feet were went Lefts Left Filmore was likewise a Blah Blab but when It came to neat Hoofing the one named Patsy Mink was the Tom Tom Cats Cats Cat's Kitten lie He was there with there with Everything Iata Patsy had Theater written all allover i over him right from the Jump I When he was was' fourteen b he began to carry a Paste Bucket and extra I for the price popular-price Temple Temple Tem Tern pie of ot Amusement known os as the Bijou BIJon and pronounced It Joe By No longer did the Grammar School i have any Charms for him He De beI began beto be be- I gan to associate with Stage Hands and was permitted to help with the Props and go goon on as an Extra In Mo Mob b Scenes It was a proud night when h he e went on and did a Bit In the After After- piece staged by bl the celebrated celebrate Knockabouts I billed as Lennox rennox an and d Mack He lIe deemed It t an as honor t to be hit with a Bladder b by such luch high- high class performers Ills His professional Debut was made doubly Important t b by the Fact that Filmore and D Doremus Doremus Do Do- o remus remiss were looking down at hi him m from the fifteen cent Seats beats Not long Jong after that be he had bad hl his Name put pot on a Trunk and the lea team of Moone Mooney and Mink began to pia play y the when the they were no not Dot t Resting nesting Vaudeville was still know known n as II Varlet Variety and the Headliners dill did 1 not slot wear silk line Evening Clothes Clothe In conjunction with whit while e Spats T Tn To be a successful Comic one had t to o do Spins Head Spins and end be hit Cu tb the e B Bean neaD an with an a Ax Az and anti the Artist who illo could not make himself b be above the he Walters who were OJ a log Ing two Scuttles and a Salt Snit ra r t sa ta a like Uke Chance of getting the thi after the First Show H HK Hl E ACQUIRES A DEPEND BLONDE It U was not long before Mr t was wu an adept at et all forms forma of oft taUt could d do any of the I o originated by bl Delahanty and sad andler BJ ler ter and was Dun Iun and Hokum Gravy and surefire Stul that time every Booking Agent q i vied his bis In to his bis nat Hat and aid G Ghost host often failed to walk wait bat bot bud Boys Doys who could make good rood U h Beer Deer Gardens received a TN which cannot be acquired It II School of Dramatic Art ArtIn In billing themselves at Dumps the working hard Pat Duo used Sheets One which e 0 had been printed for Booth sad aid ADd rett The They joined out one Summer Somme a Circus and sometimes jaw gave shows a Day at a Museum Salary for the Act was 81 via ba they could get and they lived u which didn't have bave say do doves dows we but which permitted 0 G to do their own Cooking All AH AU II Jumps were made In Day Cox Ca Just as the Sketch was Id Into Halls which did not hen bate Sawdust on the 1 Floor loor the known as Mooney rooney began begau a t attempt to consume aU all of ot the tie Stuff being made at Peoria IC HI HIthe the Specialty was a Flop Chicago and Milwaukee so 80 soi tied a 11 Can to the Bar Dar Fly and his Life In n hIs bis hands by bl bydo trill do a Single Turn In la One it II Amusement Park In St St. Low Leak went oft off every night v Hand so he got busy and 41 da dot d a dependable Blonde who ro COT Straight for him and was le leto to be a Feeder and had a 8 Pipes that made you think of aU After that tha i the Letter Letter Head Mink and Madeline guarani guano be Good Dressers on and o of Act was a Riot mot To avoid en ea ments meats regarding a split Patsy married the Song IH after arter they joined the 3 1 6 I Outfit he lie saw the theof theof theof of a Dining Oar Car for the lint Brat After one season on the tie the they were too classy for alf a except the Continuous Tt net Ti i out everything that was wai lust d began to cater to the Fan Family At first they had to watt wase Good Stuff on a Lot c of Benches Denches during the Supper Sappy but Patsy now known ai IS II 8 Mink Slink began to write th their Songs and had a special Err Erred i ed anI and put pot the Bank Dank nou Into gnu toof of Costumes for tor IJ who now looked fifteen yean yeaner er than she did when be he beIn heIn bein In St. St Louis and the T flee simply bad had to pay pal W i tion to the Feature wl W Hand Now the they get a n nut ral 1 en on I s i come on and e even when the tw nursing wet Umbrellas good goad for three bows U J Ja t ta tIltS I la is tro trod 81 Ones a bunch of Live o may stop the show During the LaY Off Olf Off thel to p Shack at the Sea Shore Shora 61 a a Cat Boat Doat and she Is In lam Boston Doston Terriers 1 what mil may W N be It shows you yon J by an American Americas i his 4 r does not compromise t ask uk W 1 a Some one may hi of Doremus and I unable to master the Doremus owns a large StIS trod for nand dry which does la II e sired aired and Filmore went meat In to Texas for tor s ae nl Oil Stock MORAL MOnAL Ton Young n before betor I. I l 9 t lug lag uplifted long lone Came |