Show what d I vr thinks about Chronic Influenza SPRINGS CALIFI CALIF r- r PALM I I came out here to of my influenza But as I pen these despairing wo words ds my in influenza influenza influenza in- in is cuddled up to this inflamed bosom bosom- This is not the puny trifling influenza of the interior but the sun kissed extra extra- special Influenza of golden California Califor Califor- nia the nia-the the one out oat V V standing product of this coast which our tourist bureaus do donot donot V not advertise V r In nth the e chronic chronie V V form Its It's like visiting vie vis kinfolk fromback fromback from Irons V back East Cast arriving In the fall fait and tV banging hanging on all win win- ter The kind I r Inave nave have s stays t a 1 I long Irvin S. S Cobb CODD enough to m an make a k It e eyou you OU wish you ou were dead and not quite long enough to kill you After swallowing so many different differ dUfer- ent eat remedies I am as you might say full of conflicting emulsions When Then I sneeze m my watch stops stop When Then I I cough sea lions get jealous and I seem to feel a lot of things giving i way Inside of me mc When I open my ray raymouth i mouth somebody sticks stick In either a pill pili or a thermometer and neither i ione one helps e S C C Testing Drunken Drivers Driver poli Fon testing drunken drivers the thea a Cleveland police have a device named the I stethoscope But nut why not just ask the suspect t to pronounce It and abide by the results Old times back home we had our own system We didn't follow the New Nelv York scheme of Inviting the alleged Inebriate to say SissIe Fitsgerald Fitzgerald Fitzgerald Fitz Fits gerald because b hed he'd d probably take refuge In his constitutional rights as a southern gentleman and refuse to bandy a aind's lads lad's name la In any such place as the Under Uner our plan If It a citizen was lying in the street and his fingers didn't move h he was Intoxicated But Dut if It even hi his little finger moved be he merely was resting But Dut we didn't have alcoholic automobiles au an- to pester us The surplus sur lur plus population was reduced with firearms or cutlery thus giving everybody ev everybody ev- ev I a chance Mankind's Real Humanity W WHAT hAT with thIs tills and that just when a fellow tellow Is almost ready to decide that the human should be charged off oft as ns practically practically cally catly n it total loss something happens This time It happened In a little mine In Nova Scotia where the calm heroism of two men penned with the body of ot their dead comrade atthe atthe at ot the bottom of a caved ln shaft wn wa was matched by the magnificent gallantry italian gallan- 1 try tho the Incredible endurance of ot volunteer vol tol rescuers who by hy day and night unceasingly labored on In momentary mo peril of death for themselves them selves to save the lives of that trapped pair And pair and did save them And a week or so before that it happened when a young oung girl dragged the only other survivors of nn an airplane air air- plane crash out ont of the flaming wreckage and ministered to theta them and forgot her own hurts while she waded long miles milts down a snow snow- drifted mountain to give the Alarm and having given It It staggered back hack again to do what else sire she might S a Bankers Versus Politics POLITICS certainly makes esI estranged es- es I bedfellows But Dut a Presidential campaign or two behind us and across the scene with thunderous tread trend stalked the sacred white cows of big biff money their udders dripping wisdom their gentlest bellow to with ea eager en- en per ger ears fars by candidates and alike Statecraft mingled with high finance was what they offered d In a arich arich arich rich and cr creamy amy measure to tD one and II the tire pontifical Mitchell the omnipotent om otis- Dawes the Infallible In In- soIl Bull the wondrous WI subsequently subsequently subsequently known as OI the uncovered WJ And Jo lo the tire voice of Owen D. D Young Toung was heard in the land But Dut now alas where lire are the Ba- Ba niche of ot yesteryear Why It if this summer the average distinguished or as the case may be extinguished International banker bank bank- er tries to get Into either national convention they'll ch charge rge him a ad mission V a I I I Meandering Horsemen A DARING soul residing In a back corner of Brazil d decided to ride horseback to New York After Atter Art Aft er jogging along some some weeks In what might be described as a a series of general directions he reached Rio Janeiro only to discover hed he'd already al at- ready traveled 1200 OO miles out of his way The name Is given as Senor Severino Severino Severino Seve- Seve rino Moura Fonseca but the gentleman gentleman gentle gentle- man certainty certainly behaved as though he were a congressional Investigating committee Wh Why he be even dered Senator Black mack of ot Alabama and up until the theother other day da when the administration threw a net over him the senator held the worlds world's championship for loose wandering Its It's startling Isn't Int It It how suddenly sudden sudden- 11 ly the great silence descends upon a statesman who gets out of at line with the top bosses Copyright 8 |