Show T TALL ALL TALES As AI Told to tot FRANK E. E HAGAN andELMO and andELMO ELMO ELl SCOTT WATSON I I I I I I I I I Blondy by a Tongue I IWA tirAY AT Y back In said sald 1892 said theold the theold WA W VV old I I owned a beautiful racing mare whose name was Blondy because of her color My other possession was Will a farm but It had a plaster of ot Bad nad luck cut between len me and the purses purles although Jim m roy my trainer would get her cream-colored cream body In the pink before every race roce We taught Blondy a lot of tricks between losing races One was to tomake tomake tomake make a face fare r Jim or I would hold an apple or carrot so 10 soshe soshe she had to stretch her neck and put out her tongue for It And she got so she would do this whenever we told her make a face We entered the mare In a claimIng claim claim- Ing log race at Churchill Downs the spring of ot 02 It was May 15 to be exact The mortgage on the farm was due May 16 18 Jim had bad Bloody Blondy In great form for the 1 mile race But Dut the bookies were laying 20 to 1 against our out nag I scared up a thousand berries and placed the whole roll at 20 to 1 It was win the race or lose the farm The horses were awa away evenly but yards lards from the start Blondy stumbled and lost stride Then she winged away awa regaining lost ground at ever every jump Then a horse horae cut cutIn cutin cutin in front of her It was Dixie Dude and she had to be pulled Down the back stretch and around the turn torn they thel came Blondy was moving up on the outside When they hit bit the stretch she he and Dixie Dude were running head and head bead It looked like a certain dead heat but at the last jump or two Jim hanging banging on the rail ran yelled Make a face Yo Blondy 1 Make a face I l Thank God I l Blondy Jond heard straightened her neck shot out her tongue across the finish line and won the race Man-Made Man Mesas AFTER Paul Bunyan finished his work logging oft off the Pacific Northwest he decided hed he'd become an oil oll First thing he be did was to go down Into New Mexico and begin drilling a well on top of ot a mountain which was made up op of or alternate layers of ot thin rock and dry sand One night a windstorm came up And how bow she did blow I The next morning when Paul woke up he be looked out of the window of ot his shack and such a sight ns liS met his eyes I There was his hole bole standing straight up In the air as BS high as he be could see The wind had blown aUthe all aU the sandy undy layers away from it but the layers of rock were hanging around It like washers pushed around a drill stem Item Paul was pretty mad about It hut hot be he didn't waste any time standing around cussing He De just took a sledge and climbed up to the top He lIe began pounding began pounding the hole bole down Into the ground again As he be did BO so the layers of rock began to come together together together to to- gether and made a mesa That sort of ot thing happ happened ned time after time and that's why New Mex Mez- MexIco Mexico ico leo Is II so full of mesas They're There perpetual perpetual per per- monuments to Paul Bunyan's unsuccessful oil nil drilling operations there The Squalling SOME cold winter night as you OU sit before a roaring fire are In a abunting hunting bunting lodge or In the bunkhouse of a lumber camp In the NorthWoods' NorthWoods North NorthWoods' NorthWoods NorthWoods' NorthWoods Woods' Woods youre you're certain to hear bear out out- outside outsIde outside side a out long out moaning You might think Its It's the wind In the bare branches of the trees but it ita Its It's a a mourning because It has bas bosa hasa a warty Ill fitting skin That's all a ever does does does- just goes wandering amon among tit the e hemlock trees weeping e and sobbing g bitterly because Us Its skin akIn doesn't fit When the thermometer Is la down do t to nine degrees above zero you ca can n follow It by the little globules o oIce of f Ice It leaves behind the behind the s trail of ot frozen tears Because It Is such a shy nocturnal nocturnal nal animal few men have ever see seea seen seena n a But Dut once a lumberjack by imitating Its cries lured one Into his cabin When he shut the little e beast up In a wicker basket It began began be be- gan to sob and moan This went on for h hours then die died d down The lumberjack peeked int Into the basket to see If It the ha had cried Itself to sleep But Dut all he be h e found w was was s salt water and a fe few tew w bubbles The had dissolved dissolve d Itself In Its own own- tears teara I might a known better said the lumberjack as be added one of ot his own tears tearl t to the collection than to have shut ehu t him up In to a basket made fro from m branches of a weeping willow tree e 0 N N w ip por r Union |