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Show ' I HAPPY THOUGHT. Lending Man (of the stranded troupe) Nothing to do but walk buck to dear old Broadway, methinks. Leading Woman But think of the disgrace ! Ingenue And the rustic giberyl Comedian Peace ho with you all! Why, we'll send the advance man ahead to scatter the interesting tidings that you ladies are hiking suffragettes and we men the accompanying newspaper news-paper correspondents. Buffalo Express. Ex-press. Light Reading. Mrs. Hi-Brow I undersland your husband is a well-read man, Mrs. O'Houlihnn. Mrs. O'Houlihnn Bedad, he is that, mum. He reads the livelong day. Shure and he do be wan of thira constant con-stant readers. Mrs. Hi-Brow I'm glad to hear that.. What does he read? Mrs. O'Houlihan Gas meters, mum. His Profit. "He sold his house for $2,000 more than he paid for it." "That so? Did he buy another?" "Yes." "Make any money mi the deal?" "When he figured up what he had to pay for the new house and the. expense ex-pense of moving he found that he had made just $2.85." One Way or the Other. "Meat is terribly dear! Meat 50' cents a pound !" "But think how cheap money is, with a 50-cent piece worth only a pound of meat!" Kind Conjecture. Belle All Maude's family are blondes. Where did she get such black eyes? Nell I guess her husband gave thern to her. In Suspense. "Patched up peace with your wife-as wife-as yet?" "Not quite. My ma-in-law, my wife and her two sisters are discussing the terms." w Jiffi just s- .4 Woodman, lW' ParC th3t jy jj Touch not a Iffif bougrh. ip wm You see we an V'fw must be p-- For conserva- jl tion now. Neighbors Are, Too. "I am saddest when I sing," And her voice rings far and high. "I am saddest when I sing." "So are we!" the neighbors cry. Evening the Score. "There will be trouble if those two. men meet. The big one is u six footer." foot-er." "Yes, but the little one has a six- shooter." Selfish. "What has become of that man who- , discovered the fourth dimension?" "He has decided to keep it to himself. him-self. It's too valuable for distribu- . tion." A Sign of Rain. Heck They say a ring around the moon is a sign of raiii. Peck So is a ring around a woman's wom-an's finger a sign of reign. Answers. Hard to Figger. "They say that every man has his price." began I he chronic bromidist. "Not bin' to it." snapped his wife. "Some men are absolutely worthless." Naturally. "There are going to be big profits . In the coffee business." "Well, that Is one industry which ought to be in a settled condition." Trying Voices. Stage Aspirant Is there a voice trial today, please? Stage Doorkeeper (fed up) No. miss, It was held yesterday. And all the defendants was found guilty of singing like foghorns. Passing Show. His Advantage. "A magistrate has a great advantage over other married men." "What Is It?" "When Ills wife starts mil In give him a piece of her mind be can bind her over to keep ihe piece." |