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Show In'fiac IK' SI IS ALSO DISSATISFIED. Ezra Windrow 1 hear you swapped auttymobiles with Si Skinner yesterday. yester-day. Who got the wusl of the bargain, bar-gain, Si? Hi Huskius W-a-ll, the one T got thrust on me is sufl'erin horribly from ague, an' balks piile a lot 'count uv missiu' on each and every cylinder off an' on, but I heard this niornin' that Si is huntin' fer the justice uv the peace in order to swear out a warrant for somebody." Buffalo Express. Ex-press. j Torkins and the League. "Charlie, dear," said young Mrs. Tor-kins, Tor-kins, "I hope you will continue to discuss dis-cuss the League of Nations With everybody ev-erybody you meet." "You think I have the soliject pretty well in hand, eh?" "No. I'm hoping that if you keep on conversing maybe you'll find out something some-thing about it from somebody." London Lon-don Tit-Bits. Safety First. Employee How about that bill yon undertook to collect? Collector You said I could have half of it, didn't you? Employer ( 'ertainly. Collector Well, I've collected my half, but couldn't get yours. ;i--4'terci you a t",es,,on- aJOr a j. Let it go: "tW w Can 1 send s A 1 cress suit case by y 'fl ; a trunk line? Joys of the County Ditch. I'd ruther live on' County Ditch An' have a little fishin', Than dwell in mansions of the rich Where nothin' is but wisiiin'! A Small Portion. Lady Don't it humiliate you to beg for food? Tramp No, ma'am. What hurts me is that I'm depriving the poor, inner cent birds of a feed. Cynical Estimation. Belle While we were walking, Ned said he would give me a penny for my thoughts. Nell What extravagance! The Worn-Out Introduction. "Interesting story teller, isn't he?" "Very. He never begins a yarn with the old bromide: 'I shall never forget it as long as I live.' " Bang! Hobo I don't know where my next meal is coming from, lady. Woman of House Well, this is n( information bureau. . The Only Way. "I've got to get the money out o! that old screw for this bill. How would you try it? With tad?" "No; with a monkey wrench." TOO HIGH. T IE Rooster Are r-7Vj you related to Ilfi)? ' the wild ducks? V h Duck - Yes, M' but we don't v MrfW'W associate. They Wt fly too hig-h for us! p' Horrible. I do not care for Old Man Sweet Jlis table manners are a rime; Me thinks that he can talk an-1 eat And do the two things at one titne. The One Thing Stone Had. Cobble Alter all. it isn't brains, i isn't heredity, it isn't education, hi it's personality that counts in makin. a success. Stone Righto'. What would ya" he. old fellow, without personality? Life. Can't Go Wrong. Mr. Plainsniith These gloves hi for ii girl who thinks I'm the tines man in the world. Think she'll lik them? The Salesgirl If your statemei about her is true I think she'd lie sa, Islied with anything." Hurried Through It. Henry I just finished my day work. . John How so? Henry I set the calendar ahead 1 tomorrow. SI aniford 'in: ; iarr:r 1. |