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Show RESOLUTION REtfOLOTrON k TfOFi YOUNO woivTiINr FOE?. YOUNG MEN upon you! Shamey! Remember grandma is not so young as she once was and the penitential efficiency of a bunion is greatly enhanced by the shoving forward of the foot as accomplished accom-plished by the French heel. Command the old lady to do a cake-walk once an hour around the dining room table if you will, but let her do it in comfortable com-fortable shoes. Another item in favor of trying this resolution is the fact that you have probably never asked grandma to wear any kind of shoes she didn't like, so it should be that much easier to keep to your resolution resolu-tion not to do so. For a young man "I resolve from this day never again to smoke a pipe in church. This sample is highly recommended. The practice against which you issue the edict of banishment banish-ment is reprehensible in the highest degree. Smoking, while of course it might be a solace to you during the sermon, could not but annoy your neighbors and fellow worshipers. The men envy you, leading to countless domestic difficulties for them. The preacher is unable to see whether all the deacons are awake or not by the haze from your pipe. Moreover, just TT L. 1 TRIKE up the band, here comes the good resolution. Let the whistles blow ""; their 1 ads off, let the bells ring out, let the fog horn on the lake front shatter the atmosphere at-mosphere to atoms, let the similar gladsome noises be let loose upon the vibrant ozone even in the uttermost corners of our beautiful city. For the good resolution is marching forward. Only a few days more and we will bask in its splendid presence. Like the village drum major it comes proudly prancing toward us through the week. Get a seat early and avoid the crowd if you would behold be-hold it in its glory. Keep your eyes glued to the splendid spectacle, keep your ears open for the lofty sounds, for it will not be long in passing it's safe to say that if all the high r resolves that go into effect on New ' Year's day had half the endurance of a Marathon runner the millennium would come so fast that we'd have to enact new speed laws to keep it from melting the asphalt. If good resolutions were salt mackerel mac-kerel what a universal thirst would spread abroad! Human experience seems to indi- f cate that progress in any line is nec essarily gradual. Take the flying ma- j chine, for instance. At present the I scientists engaged in the development of this interesting device are in a position po-sition to assert that rnany 0f their problems are already solved. They can get up into the air without the aid of dynamite and they can come down again with practically no effort. Of course there are other difficulties to be overcome such as the tendency on the part of the machine to select Its own time and place for coming , down. But these problems are minor and doubtless the answer is in ahe book somewhere if they can only find it. The practice of resolving presents a similar aspect. It is not entirely perfect at present. But considering the few years since Adam inaugurated the outdoor sleeping fad and became grandpa to the human race it is not surprising that some details are still to be worked out. The forming of the resolution has been beautifully worked work-ed out, till almost any one, the merest novice, can resolve. The date, too, has been firmly fixed as on the first of January. The chief difficulty that still remains has to do with keeping the resolution once it is made. Something Some-thing like keeping your aeroplane right side up once you have established estab-lished a neighborly relation with the stars. Probably several years will elapse before the custom of resolving reaches perfection and in the meantime mean-time it might be well to adopt a makeshift for the present unattainable. unattain-able. It would seem as if the difficulty might be minimized by more attention to the subjects taken for resolving purposes. It is well to use care in selecting se-lecting our resolutions, and because of the proximity of January 1, a few suggestions may not be out of place. For a young woman Try this one. "1 hereby resolve with earnestness to no longer insist on grandma wearing lYench heels." There are several advantageous ad-vantageous features to this resolution. To begin with it Is humane. Just think of forcing the poor old lady to teeter down the street with little c'jurch steeples under her sole leather! leath-er! Her silver locks bob under her llgnified black bonnet and at every gainful step she whispers "Ouch." Fie as a aisunguisnea statesman once ot- , ficially declared that the odor of 1 cigarettes annoyed him there are ! those to whom the smell of a pipe is 1 a nuisance and the offertory collector ! might be one of these. - Besides, you 1 would probably be thrown out or ar- i rested or something. 1 For men who ride much in street cares "henceforth I will not mind the feathers." This is one requiring con- 1 siderable care but if strictly adhered , to will be found of great assistance in 1 your daily life. When depending from a strap and resting your toes on some ' neighbor's a long stiff quill suddenly , jabs you in the nose giving to that fea- ' ture the rich red that which another , class of resolvists have already ac- ' quired, do not release your temper. . Smile and pretend you like it. Oft- ' times you can make yourself believe i it, after due practice, of course. But ' the principal advantage to be cited in i this resolution's favor is that "you ' might just as well." So long as the i fashion remains the same you will ' have your daily communion with the i tall feathers of an ostrich or of a rooster and if you resolve not to mind, i how much more placid the temper! For any one who does not raise ' chickens "I hereby resolve and de- ! termine not to eat any more strictly 1 fresh eggs for several weeks to , come." This is in some respects the 1 prize resolution. Its advantages are , many, but all the others are over- ' shadowed by this one you can't get j any to eat. ( In spite of all the teacher may do the pupil will not learn unless he i himself studies. You cannot make ' successful use of these sample resolu- i tions without effort on your part. But ' you should find one among them i which can be kept with the minimum 1 of struggle. If you have no choice or ( you are skeptical as to your ability, try the last one. J |