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Show Now for the straw bonnets Spring, bless her, may go as far as she likes. Make room for the rhubarb pie and the strawberry shortcake. When It saw the colonel the Sphinx remained discreetly silent. Girls' names written on eggs are turned out of cold storage from one to three years old. Simian dinners are still popular In the New York smart set and some of them cost $100 per plate. Paris has a "ham and iron" fair, though ham and diamonds would be a more appropriate combination. Japan Is taking an Interest In baseball, base-ball, -which seems to assure a cordial understanding beyond question. It will be hard for Kermlt to content con-tent himself with the sport of clam digging when he gets back to Oyster Bay. Why should not the young man's fancy lightly turn to thoughts of love? Spring millinery bills do not embitter his dreams. Now science has achieved an Invention In-vention to take the picture of beating hearts. This ought to make effective exhibits In love pleadings. A celebrated oculist says that people peo-ple Seldom see things as they are. Particularly Is this true when they look at get-rich-quick schemes. Economists who declare there Is now too much gold will not exert any noticeable influence on the enthusiasm of the man with a mining prospectus. A New York man who was run down by a baby carriage is suffering from a broken shoulder. New York men should never go on the street without their , nursemaids. So impetuous are the members of the Hungarian chamber of deputies that they began hurling books and Inkwells without waiting for the mo- ' vlng-picture machine. As a matter of fact man is not in rebellion against buttoning up his wife's waist in the back. He likes anything that proves he is a convenience conve-nience about the house. One good thing about the gaseous . tail of Halley's comet, which is expected ex-pected to envelope the earth before long. Is that we shall not be compelled com-pelled to get It through a meter. Count Komura says that a war between be-tween this country and Japan is Inconceivable. In-conceivable. ' Little does hp realize the strength of the Imaginations of ' some of our after-dinner speakers. New York gave away a car load of "" babies to New Orleans people the other oth-er day. This corroborates the old saying that generosity consists in giving away something which we do not want ourselves. Sailing of the Mauretanla was delayed de-layed half an hour by the nonarrivali of some cans of cream. We are surprised sur-prised to learn that the Mauretanla ' does not have among Its attractions a cowpasture and creamery of its own. The appendix, thinking the human race has not enough trouble of its own just now, has started to make more by inventing for itself a new and exclusive disease. This disease the doctors have agreed to call "appendicular "appendic-ular gastralgia." and there Is small doubt that those who wish to keep , strictly up to date will contract it without delay. Indeed, appendicitis may go quite out of fashion The Idea of running "Instruction trains" for the benefit of farmers appears ap-pears to be growing in popularity. One of these trains. In charge of the state agricultural department, is on a trip through New Jersey and the farmers farm-ers are flocking to the stopping places In large numbers to listen to the lectures lec-tures and witness the demonstrations. The practical value of this method is recognized, and the American farmer who wants to be up to date is catching catch-ing on. New Jersey evidently is wideawake wide-awake as to the importance of utilizing uti-lizing Its natural resotu'ees. The United States collector of Internal In-ternal revenue in New York reports that the corporations are generally responding to the requirements of the new federal law calling for returns as a basis for taxation. This Is commendable, com-mendable, and shows a much better spirit than Indicated in many quarters at first. The best Intelligence in corporate cor-porate management Is beginning to realize and recognize that reasonable restriction and regulation are equitable equit-able and in the public interest, and managers are governing themselves accordingly. Chicago telephone girls must be over Ave feet high. Don't talk back to a Chicago telephone girl. The police, on medical advice, stopped a Marathon endurance dance in San Francisco which had lasted 15 hours. One of the dancers seemed urging himself to the point of torture, but that did not prevent the crowd in attendance from resenting the humane action of the police. It is the same old story. Scratch the skin of civilization civili-zation and find the human brute un derneatb. |