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Show A FEW STRAY THOUGHTS Hi ' Albert Jay Nock is telling how the plutocrats H of New York escape the payment of their just V taxes. The Gotham "plutes" have no objection to H his surname, only they like to spell it with an ex- : tra "K". Hi H' An advertisement of "The Merry Wives of H Windsor." "with 40 full-page illustrations in color M' by Hugh Thomson," says that "Shakespeare's up- v roaring comedy offers unbounded opportunities M which Mr. Thomson has not been slow to seize." m Not slow? No; not more than 300 years. H H Commonplace epitaph: "For the last forty H hours of his life he was in the city of Philadel- m phia and a state of coma." H M The defeat of Nelson by Moran recalls the H verses perpetrated by Sam Davis after the Gans- ' Nelson debate at Gold field a few years ago: M Time called; the iuger whangs away; B On nose and headpiece falls his ire, B And Nelson's face of yesterday M Is one uith Nineveh and Tyre. M' Pay us that h mdred-dollar bet, m Lest we forget, lest we forget. M The toutings and the tumults cease, M The trainers and the pugs depart, B And they who failed to win a piece M Are troubled with a contrite heart. M Their I. O. TJ.'s are with us yet, M Lest we forget, lest we forget. H M Dr. Crippen's final letter to Miss Leneve ex- B pressed the hope that she would go to Mrs. H. H! Wonder if Crippen himself went to H. T J jfl "Negro Quietly Lynched," said the headlines. M It then followed that a Florida mob hanged the M victim from a telegraph pole and riddled his body M with bullets. What would a noisy lynching have m been like? H H An Illustrator in Life shows how the waistline m has fallen in the past one hundred years from M under the armpits in the days of the Empire to M about the ankles in the days of the hobble-skirt. m It makes a difference of over three feet, on an B average. It makes a difference of more than that M as any young man who might attempt to em- K brace his girl at the new "waist" line would be M likely to find out. 1 "Padded Census Figures in the North," says a M headline announcing what the enumerators did in H Seattle and Portland. Padded figures are not un- H known to this part of the world, but they bear no M ' relation to the census; that is. most of them H don't. Padded figures generally trot in tandem V with race suicide. m m A Reno newspaper calls attention to an un- H; usual state of affairs by the words, "Only One H Squaw Drunk." Maybe the lady Piutes of Wa- H shoe county have determined to set a good ex- H ample for the divorcees. BJ H The thought of the Dutch taking Holland used H to be considered a joke. It took the twentieth H century to provide the spectacle of the Brazilian H navy seriously surrendering to the government of Hj Brazil. BJr Bh' Bl The Brazilian navy ought to be popular with Hf all sailormen. The penalty for mutiny down there Hj is higher pay. '; H Whatever els? niqy be alleged against Ballin- H ger, it cannot be denied that Alaska owes him a H debt of gratitude, for. being the prime factor in Hi getting the natural resources of that territory r more free advertising than those of any other region re-gion in the country. The best way to rid the country of the loan-shark loan-shark evil is to reak the sharks up in business; and the quickuot way to do this is not to pay them. Among our New Year resolutions let us not forget one to rid the land of the loan shark. Seattle and Tacoma may think they have it on Salt Lake, but the census bureau didn't tell us to go get a reputation. It took 500 grains of cyanide of potassium to kill the big elephant, Gipsy Queen, the other day. They ought to have tried Teddy Roosevelt on her: he came near to putting the finishing touches on another elephant. |