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Show B - t IStnoKe From the WeeKJy Tipe. I ' Local Republicans are covering large areas of J speculation these days in regard to who will prob-I prob-I ably bo the appointee of the President for the position of United States circuit judge for Utah. , in ' The Utah jurists most prominently considered for B 'If , the place are Judge Morse and that unique and B 1 1 unimpeachable statesman, Judge George W. B f I Bartch. The last named diplomat believes that ' 5 the jasper coronet of the judgeship will assuredly B n be perched upon the expansive territory which B i ' conceals his splendid intelect. B f j Still it is barely possible that the Presidential B M i smile will not scintillate upon either of these B HI I notable jurists. Judge Morse has probably placed B i himself out of the running by committing the B m f heinous offense, from an ecclestiastical point of B t view, of calling the grand jury together for the B M supposed purpose of prosecuting the unlawful co- 9 pj i habltors of the dominant church. This shameless B j , iniquity has not been directly traced to Judge B '' Morse, but the unspeakable misdemeanor lies be- B j ij " tween him and County Attorney Westervelt. And B i i that closes for him forever the portals to the B , I j affections of Apostle Smoot and Fussy James B fl j Anderson, two big men and great in the councils B n ,i ' of the mighty. H 1 a I : t w m ' i ; H I jj When the two last named made that perilous B Mil ' tour through the iniquitous cities of the East on H j , the way to "Washington, in spite of the terrifying B , ' warnings of one patriot known as T. Kearns, they H ) negotiated an. affectionate handclasp with the H i ) President, and were thereupon assured that they H f I , would.be given the distinction of naming the new H j circuit judge for Utah. Bo'th of these distin- H i j t guished citizens had decided upon Judge Morse H I' I for the place, but the translucent smiles with m fv! 5 which they had theretofore beamed on him were m 'p, I transformed to frowns that would have made Mars B ' i r quiver when they learned that his judgeship had B '-'i j summoned the grand jury. So Judge Morse is B j ' now not only persona non grata with the ecclesi- Bj ' astical machinists, but a grave menace to the mmL , public welfare, pardee. So the blue pencil has B ' cut a deep swath through the name of Judge H j i Morse, and among local aspirants the unearthly H I splendor of Judge Bartch's name stands alone. B (3 ti tis H J3ut the thousands of people who know the HL I judge and love him are fearful of the jurist's pros- II j pects in the dash for the circuit judgeship. It is ! ' reported now that Fussy James and Apostle Reed, I alienated from Morse and being unabashed by v I i the witching charms and winsome ways of Mr. mmm I Bartch, have decided to submit for the Presiden- BB tial consideration the name of a man from the B J tar East countrie. Which is a state of affaiis Bh which causes tremendous trepidation in the B Morse and Bartch families withal. H ' & & BB That notable function on East Brigham street, BH - the Kearns Presidential breakfast, was the source Rt U of some eruptive incidents. The grand jury had Hfif I just been summoned and fear quivered in the BBjBj 1 breast of the prophet Joseph F. Smith, when he HHft ' received the solicitation to attend the robust Sen- B I atorial breakfast. BB ' "Tom, I'll come," said President Smith, hoarse- BB ? j ly, "on one condition. Keep the grand jury quiet IH ! 5 and dpn't let them arrest me until we have fin- HHfl ished breakfast." BHH J And Tom cast upon the president that seraphic HB ! j gaze which ere this has made Washington trem- 8B 4 I ble with ecstacy, and smiled an enigmatical but HBB ' consoling smile. fllB i - c v?c tjt jaHH I j The speech of Mr. T. kearns" a. t the Tabernacle SBfflH 1 ! when the President was here was splashed and B&BBB ' i HHl bodecked with literary gems. They were printed jewels, as it were, which upon the stretched forefinger fore-finger of all time shine forever, as Tennyson say-eth. say-eth. Cog's fine Italian hand was not observable in the forensic inundation, all of which shows that Mr. T. Kearns, besides the other things that ail Kim, is a versatile genius. In a posture sug-gesfive sug-gesfive of an abandoned fragment of Ionic pillar, without a single tremulous quaver in the magic of his wonderful voice, the senior Senator launched his welcoming fulmination in these bountiful and imperishable introductory words: 'We Americans ain't born to nothing, but we gal there just the same." Heroic words! Deathless sentiment! There was not a man in the vast auditorium who did riot feel a spasm of poignant and acute emotion when this beautiful epitome of proudly triumphant patriotism was uttered. "Limited space forbids the exploitation of all the sonorous and soaring marvels of the oration, but the concluding sec-tence sec-tence deserves a place in the volumso of eternity. Atter a graphic and almost bewildering elogiurit oi the President's charming eccentricities, the senior Senator, loftily dignified and majestic and gio-wcring, as it were, boldly and magnanimously in the rapt eye of his auditors, concluded his masterpiece with the following lovely ebullition: "And 1 wanter interdu-u-u-ce him to you." (Ovation! Cheers! Loud sobbing from the vvomen!) t & 'J 'hat was a very unkind man who worked up the joke on County Attorney Westervelt, when he made his debut as prosecutor" before the grand jury. The jury was -called to arbitrate the alleged polygamy case of one Judge Tanner, and the county attorney was there expanding with a big sensation. A facetious conductor had informed the prosecutor that the wife of the motorman on his car was custodian of the child of a woman alleged to be one of the multiple wives of Tanner. So the cooing babe and the astounded mother were brought before the dignified judicial assembly, assem-bly, on Westervelt's recommendation. It there developed that the cruel conductor had grievously misled the prosecutor, for the woman announced jK that she had never met Tanner and seemed to be mm. veiy positive about the paternity -of the babe, the mm same being none other than the shrieking heir 9B apparent of the motorman. BB So Judge Tanner still carouses on the Pastures B of Liberty and the prosecutor sighs mightily. B A. K. N. H |