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Show B THE CAPTAIN'S THIRST. E The private had been away beyond the limits H of his leave of absence, but he knew something K beyond the alphabet of soldierly diplomacy, and Hf so upon his return to the Waterworks, where the"" H artillery was stationed, he produced a quart bottle H of whiskey and with a penitential air and much B humility proffered the same to the captain. That H mildly bibulous officer gruffly accepted the offer- H ing. Ten minutes later, the said private, who had m cultivated a very rational thirst, and was not with- H out guile, cautiously returned to the captain's K tent and absconded with the bottle. E The captain was a man to whom a snug liba- tion was exceedingly palatable and so when he K turned with a smile angelic to where he had de- B posited the bottle and found a yawning vacuum j there, the oath which was wafted out on the war- K like zephyrs of the night was fearsome to hear. m The bugler was immediately summoned to the j tent and ordered to sound an assembly. When the B startled volunteers formed in line, the captain un- H wound a beautiful and forceful oration. H "One of you scoundrels," he began, "within the H past few minutes stole a bottle of whiskey from K my tent. Now I want to say that I don't care so B much for the whiskey, as I am not a drinking m man. But that particular quart was given to me H by a dear friend, and the thief who filched it has H violated the common ethics of army decency. As H j say, I don't care so much for the whiskey, but K there should be some honor among even such H hlrsty-looking thugs as you cannibals who con-IB con-IB ont me As I have already explained, I care H nothInS for the whiskey, intrinsically. I might H wot have taken a drop of it. But if I .ever locate H rj1 e Abased heathen who stole it I will see that he H ves on a straight bread and water diet for the B a?iSt f hiS amy 1If3, l guess that wI11 hQ about H ' Ana now you horse thieves may go to your H quarters. But, before you go, as I say, I don't Care 80 much for the whiskey, but- if any of you gentlemen will recover that quart and return it to my tent, I will cheerfully, for principle's sake, hand him $5 and give him ten days' leave of absence. ab-sence. Boys, good night." |