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Show Hf i I J DIFFICILIS DESCENSUS AVERNI. B " , ( Many people wonder why the upper B , ten figure so prominetly In present- H i day British drama. In Les Temps, A. H I B Walkley suggests as the oxplana- Rl I tion that only men of means and lei- H II sure can afford the luxury of a grand B .j passion.) Bi,' There's a wish I've always had to be j1 i very, very bad B - , ; And to emulate Don Juan with the B sex, B For I feel that I could make every bit B j as good a rake B , 1 As the dissolute Tom Jones or giddy L,:: Quox- B !. 'p I would cultivate a passion in the very Bj ! ,' finest fashion. B , " ; 'i And elope with lots of other people's B 1 -wives B ! Had my income but permitted, I've a H soul exactly fitted H For the gayest and the wickedest of B lives. BB' 1 i iB ' But whenever I aspire to a question- B able fire. IB ji i ' i When particularly tempted to elope, B ' Say, to Margate or Southend, with a j, ,i charming lady friend, B I am suddenly compelled to crush B my hope; B For, alas! my circumstances do not B warrant such romances, H t And my chief would look unutter- B ably black. B While Maria would discover that her H gay and gallant lover B , i Was an unromantic person with the B f sack. Bl How I envy lucky chaps in the Al- B 1 bany perhaps K Who address their cringing valets BE 'u thus: "You dunce! kt . Pack my Gladatone bag! Mako haste! LHp i J There is little time to waste; Bj ij We are leaving for the Continent Hri at once." B i' Now, if I presume such delicious B 1 dreams they perish B At the prospects which await us B poorer men. B It's a very prosy pity, but I've got to B reach the city B Every morning as the clock is strik- B tag ten. BK B Thus with every wish to shine in the B ' gay Lothario line, B t And with every Inclination to be I bad, B ' Fate ii too much for me, and the sad B result you see B I'm the very mildest person to be B uad B , On a Sunday you will find me, "Witt B' . mv llttle onoB onini mQ B'i ' f Strolling virtuously over Walham Bif I Green. Bjf Ah, how few would guess the hunger Bj! ' of this pious ironmonger B For the joys of a forbidden might- B ; have been! Punch. i n |
