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Show SmoKe From the WeeKly Vipe. . " . A HOBO OF NAMPA. The Hobo walked into Nampa from directions unknown and entering with chesty mien the nearest near-est gin arsenal, announced that he could wallop any man in Idaho and in particular could pros trate any asp'ring athlete in Nampa. Ordinarily any such pronouncement as this in the home of the late Colonel Dewey would have precipitated a gigantic commotion, at the conclusion conclu-sion of which the battered remnants of the spokesman would have been gathered up from a radius of several yards. But for some reason unknown Deweyvllle did not at once resort to measures drastic, whereupon the Hobo waxed mighty in the volcy narration of his fistic achievements. The only resultant evidence of his auditors' belligerency was exhibited by Sam, the barkeep, who, every time the Hobo called for a drink, served him molten hysteria out of the gunpowder gun-powder bottle. ( The Hobo lingered in Nampa and became so obnoxious to the Nampaites at Sam's reservoir that he was the only man in all Deweyvllle who did not have a fat premonition of his impending " doom. Still he talked himself into a place on the local baseball team, and while he did fairly well i in pra&tice dalliance he further endeared himself .. to the. populace by becoming tgnominiously and vocifenSusV drunk every time the local athletes were destined to meet outside antagonists. So the Hobo was expunged from the ranks of the baseball team, a circumstance which he attribut- H ed at Sam's to a virulent visitation of jealousy. H c5 tV dxV One day a robust stranger dropped off at Nam- H pa, and it became known at Sam's that the Visitor' H was a character no less notable than Dummy H Rowan, the pugilist, who was on his way South to H argue fistically with a Salt Lake bruiser. H That night, in secret conclave, the boys at H Sam's handed the Dummy $20, and when he drove H forth from the counsel' of "var he was grinning H audibly. That same evening all Deweyvllle smiled H seraphically upon the Hobo; they had always con- H sfdered him a lovable gentleman and a renowned H pugilist; they desired with unanimity to witness H an exhibition of his skill. They placed the gun- powder bottle on the free list, and as the Hobo H sipped the incipient delirium the tales of the H giants he had sent whore the daisy bloometh were H glowingly heroic. H When Sam Inquired whether he would like to , H spar with a certain deaf and dumb citizen who H had just wafted into town, the demonstration of his joy was large enough to break the armour on one of the Kaiser's cruisers. H & & & H The battle was arranged for the following even- H ing. The stage at the village hall was beroped and padded, sans prodigality, with burlap. ' H Three of Sam's elect wore In the Hobo's cor- H ner, equipped with towels and buckets' of water. M Silent Rowan negotiated affairs in tho Dummy's M corner. Sam was unanimously selected aS referee. H Before hostilities began the Hobo arose j)6m- M nously and reduced his weight several pounds by M unloading a beautifully worded speech; hosa'Id" pugilism was the grandest of the fine arts j, the H unsophisticated people of Nampa had never, seen , a real fight; if they watched him closely they M would witness all the finely woven and scientific M points in tho game. --Nampa cheered with un- H chastened joy. As the gong, alias cowbell, tolled, the Hobo M leaped up and executed a speedy and wonderful M assault upon the Dummy. "Unfortunately he col- M lided audibly with the Dummy's left, which slight- M ly vapored his vision. Then there was a whirl- M wind of flying arms and gloves, during all of which M the Dummy was defensive and grinning. When the Hobo went to his corner he was blowing like M a poisoned porpoise. The Elect Three thiew half M a bucket of water over him.'rubbed him vigorously M and told him he was "doin' wonderful." M Towards the end of tho next round, Sam whls- H pered something to the Dummy and suddenly tho M Hobo hit the burlap so hard that the town hall M quivered. H Sam began counting. He counted till he was M out of his depth and then came back to "one" M again. In about ten minutes the Hobo awoke un- M der the persuasion of three buckets of water M forcefully applied. H "One, two, three," counted Sam. H The Hobo's seconds lifted him up hastily and M told him he had slipped and was only down a H second. H The Hobo resumed the fray heroically. A few H minutes later the burlap again reached up and H smote him with terrific vlgorr Just then someone H shrieked "sheriff," and for a moment there was H a vision of flying feet and swirling forms and H broken windows as Nampa stampeded. Then si- H lence and the Hobo. M $ & & H It must have been dawn when the Hobo awoke H cold, steely dawn. H The Hobo's head felt like a battery with about H two hundred volts turned on and distant forms M were beckoning him. He wont. H Thny do not know up in Deweyvllle yet wheth- H er tho Hobo is now a world's champion. What H they do know is that never again were the streets H 01 Nampa gladdened by his volcy presence. H I I 13 r I When the news of the murder' of Ryan, the I 1 1 I H spectacle vendor, by devious routes reached the I 1 1 I H sanctum of a contemporary, the journal sleuth I S sniffed the ambient atmosphere gleefully and I . B started off on a Sherlockian dalliance with clews I II 8 '" which would lead to the undoing of the culprit. I if H ' Near the scene of the spectacle vendor's tie- I II ' B . raise he found mysterious evidence which caused I 1 ' m his cerebellum to sizzle in scoriaceous frenzy, it I i B was a lady's hairpin. The Sleuth, working bv I- I unequivocal deduction, discovered that the pin I had been worn by a woman with blond hair and . I that her name was Aurora Hodge. I But where was Hodge? A question which I would have caused trepedition in the ordinary I 1 human intellect was answefed with unerring In- I stinct by the Tribune Sleuth. The murder was I f committed three days' "before. She was in the 1 : 1 United States, pardee. r , I Carefully folding up 113 pages of closely writ- H I ten notes, the Sleuth smiled enigmatically at the H j- ! sheriff and chief of police and hastened to the i business office. ! j The mystery was solved. As Mr. Heath's pa- f I per (as well as his reputation) reaches even the i I remotest hamlets in the United States and is I ! J universally read, in order to gain a full confes- i If ' sIon rom the woman Hodge it was merely ne- H f I j cessary to exploit Jn the paper the incriminat-. B I lng evidence of the lost hairpin. This the sleuth B( i did. As a last terrpr-lnsplring stroke the Tole- Bf t M gram detective was induced to enter the con- iH r I ii splracy and relate the story in that journal jy fi which reaches from pole to pole. K j ill Three days later Mrs. Hodge confessed. The Hr ! j h title of that paper to the distinction of being the Kj J L prize Hawkshaw of the inter-mountain states is Ht it! I ' thereby established. In this, the Tribune fully LBf lilt concurs. H fill 1 A.K.N. |