| Show kathleen norris says make yourself yom self useful lilii living g with others doll bell syndicate features Fea turea 00 4 k 01 f F 6 OD 1 U IA I A everything I 1 do displeases my naother in lav yet she never gives a baby a bath or picks t worst ol 01 all she implies to her friends that her soil married me Y hi by KATHLEEN NORRIS HEN a woman lives in W WHEN the family of her married son she ought to meet that sons wife at least halfway in the matter of keeping the home serene and if the daughter in law wont come halfway she ought to go three quarters of the way or nine tenths of the way if she isn t willing to do this then she ought not to be living livin g there at all if she has no income and still willing to make herself an agreeable and useful member of the younger household she should get a job there are not to be sure a great many well paid easy dignified lobs jobs tor for women past 50 but there are always bathrooms in hospitals t to a clean linen rooms in hotels to keep in order dishes in restaurants restaurant to be washed since these are simple facts and the tha very mothers in anaw law themselves know that they are facts howarton how astonishing it Is to find so go many elderly women planted firmly in the homes of their sons making a great deal of trouble expecting a great deal ot of consideration and acting generally as though there were a great many pleasanter plea santer lives they might be leading and their remaining in the household was a sort of favor Inge ingeborg boig Is a fine young woman of swedish descent who was a masseuse before her marriage she and her doctor husband have four small sons the doctors mother lives w with ith them joes mother writes ingo inga occupied this big house alone tor for many years but it belongs to him when our living expenses had bad to be stretched to take care of four children and two servants rent was a serious problem As there were about six unoccupied bedrooms here and plenty of garden space he suggested to his mother that we combine forces and at that time she was delighted with the idea I 1 was III tor for months after the twins were born and although I 1 was conscious of friction here and there it is only now when I 1 am well again that I 1 realize some of the difficulties of having two stresses mistresses mi in the house A troublemaker my mother enother ln in law tho the letter goes on Is the kind of woman who runs her finger over high surfaces or shelves or bookcases and remarks on an the slightest film of dust any interruption by the children she ignores exactly as though they were not there she criticizes me to joe as being too familiar millar fa with my helpers and because she saw the nurse downtown in a beauty parlor inga cigarette she asked me ma to discharge her there thera Is no question of my discharging because she has been a tower of strength to me willing to make beds cook formulas wash dishes even rake leaves and wash windows her people and mine have known one another for sott years in the kitchen I 1 have a fine willine old chinese but he is lame and joes joea mother gets impatient with his slowness she never had but the one child and always had plenty of money and she does not seem to realize that four small boys are a greater problem than one everything I 1 do displeases her she asks me what we are having for lunch and remarks that she win will have a sandwich downtown somewhere it if joe is tired tind and irritable before dinner sha babies him she la Is so BO torry sorry darling that you have to live in all this confusion and HALF TIM THE WAY if you are the sort of person so it who t is care careful tit to go tall half the way toward making life pleasant for those around you kathleen norris has a message especially for you she writes this week of those who hesitate to go three quarters of a tile the way or evert even all the way if necessary toward making mak ang themselves useful and agreeable WG we never live completely alone she says for there are always fellow employees neighbors and others with whom we should remain on me friendly adly terms so wo we must inevitably evit elit ably learn to do not oil only ay our share but a little bit more noise your mommy would have everything so quiet and orderly for youl but she never gives a baby a bath or picks up a toy worst of all she implies to all her friends that joe married very much beneath him 1 I think everything considered ingo inga does very well she sha will say or suppose we pronounce that word this way dearv dear and she keeps telling me of the rich fashionable girls joe joa might have married also I 1 get sick of her saying when my son came to live in my dear old home on her 75 73 a month she keep up a place like this joe paid off more than in bills tor her when we moved in seeks a solution my solution tor for your problem inga would be the suggestion that you and joe study the plan of that old house to see whether there is a possibility of dividing off a suite of two or three rooms tor for his mother giving her her own entrance it if possible her own small kitchen unit it if it is only a two ring gas burner bumer and her own bathroom in a word her own establishment this might cost some hundreds in the beginning but it would be a good ln investment vestment keeping this unreasonable woman in the house houe she loves keeping her near her son and grandsons but separating her housekeeping from yours once she is removed from inevitable contact with you it is an easy matter to say hospitably to her when you have the babies out in the morning sunshine meat cakes for luncheon today want to join us then if she comes she comes by her own choice and cannot very well criticize A frank daughter ln in law the other day a young wife of my acquaintance had to wr write I 1 te a h hard ard letter she wrote it to the jealous critical unreasonable wom woman a n w who he is her h husbands u 3 bands mother in effect it said because I 1 have protected you my husband and my little girls love you dut but I 1 am going to protect you no longer please dont come to my house again unless you can retrain refrain from heckling my foreign born wonderful father who has been tor fort forty y years i a loyal american please never again ask my nurse whether my husband and I 1 ever quarrel please eat what is served at my table as you would eat whatever is served sit at the table of any friend rase please dont tell my daughters mama is unreasonable and nervous when I 1 correct them plea please 3 a don dont t tell my son that his cifes neglect of him is town talk confident of his partisanship the mother in law dramatically showed this letter to her son he read it through with a serious face read it again then he took a pencil from his pocket and marked it with a big biff check |
