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Show mions MONDAY • SEPTEMBER 10 . 2007 Its 4:30 do you know where your Senator is? Jared Magill Opinions editor "Tearooms" is what they are called by those who frequent them. They are the places where usually married, usually conservative, usually successful men meet to exchange anonymous sex acts with each other no questions asked. These so-called tearooms are usually found within the walls of public restrooms found in somewhat isolated locations. Last June, a Minneapolis police officer arrested Idaho senator Larry Craig during a sting operation at a known tearoom location, inside the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, after he displayed the telltale gestures used by tearoom patrons. But rather than the hummer the senator was allegedly seeking, instead what he got was a hum-dinger-of a headache, that is. It was an adept wave of his hand and tap of his foot that earned Craig the charge of soliciting sex from a police officer. "No," Craig cried when Sgt. Dave Karsina flashed his badge after the two men exchanged signals. "I'm not gay," Craig said to Karsina in an attempt at denial. "I don't do these kinds of things." But it was already too late. He had already committed political suicide. He was charged; not for being gay but for soliciting sex and in a plea agreement, he plead guilty to the lesser offense of disorderly conduct. His arrest he kept secret from everyone, in- At this rate, it won't be too much longer that the GOP will hold the keys to the realm of moral sanctimony. eluding his wife, until a journalist working ori a different story incidentally uncovered the information. Craig, who piously refused to attend Bill Clinton's 1998 State of the Union address, even after then House Majority Leader Trent Lott asked all Republican senators to attend out of respect for the office, is no longer waiving his hand or tapping his foot. Instead, he is clicking his heels together arid; wishing this would all just go away. It won't. In fiis 27 years as a U.S. Senator, Craig has built his reputation on being a moral crusader against gay rights in defense of traditional family values. All while he has been denying allegations of homosexuality for the past 25 years. And Craig isn't the only ranking republican to find himself in hot water over his sexual practices. In the last 10 years, the tally of republican officeholders embroiled in sex scandals has outnumbered that of their democrat counterparts by a margin of two to one, according to an MSNBC report. Included among those transgressors were former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and his successor Bob Livingston, who were both exposed as having extra-marital affairs while calling for the immediate resignation of Bill Clinton for his affair with intern Monica Lewinsky. So, while the thought of elected officials exchanging sexual favors in these so-called tearooms brings Brandon Schelin/College Times Bush's new whipping boy Carmel Hoopes-Clark Opinions writer The summer has been many things, and one of those things has been the unfolding of Bush's new strategy to try and save his old strategy. September 15th has been the golden date-the report from Petraeus is due in September. We must give the additional forces a chance to show they will succeed. We must wait to pass judgment as a Congress, as a people, on Bush's plan this time. I must hand it to him. It is a different tact than in the past in which he expected us all to believe that he held all the cards. That he knew everything (like God), and we did not. That his wisdom required that we stay in Iraq. This is the same man who fabricated the lie (or at least adopted it) that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and housed al Qaeda responsible for 9/11. He has famously been quoted many times as saying he prefers not to look to history but instead to look to the future. Can we not help but see the grave danger in this? But this is all leading into my point. In the news since the U.S. installation of Maliki, and I mean "installation", he has been made to appear at first strong and victorious. He will be the vital element to bring peace and democracy to the fractured nation. When peace and democracy were not I'd swap Neil Diamond for al) speakers at UVSC f the 2007-2008 school year fine speakers, but think what It would do f school to hear "We're earning-jq^meirtca today!" ; ' • ' ; \ : - •••"'. > - ' : ' ^ ^ ^ ^ { ^ ' The popular media jumped on the campaign that Maliki wasn't cutting it. This was bolstered by the almost total withdrawal of his Sunni cabinet members. He not only was looking incompetent as the new leader of democratic Iraq, he now seemed to be supporting resistance movements against American troops. Maliki responded by futilely explaining the delicate and explosive situation of political Iraq and blaming the U.S. for it . The U.S. media conveyed his tone as sulky and defensive which damned him all the more. And this is exactly the position the Bush party had been waiting for. They attacked. Bush could now publicly announce that Maliki himself was appearing to be one of the major obstacles to U.S. success in Iraq. And this happened through mid-August as the countdown to the September Petraeus report approached. Bush's people have been crafting his position in anticipation of public and Congressional sentiment after the report comes out. Or at least once September 15th arrives. You see, lest we think that Bush and his policy are on the run, the Petraeus report is itself a fabrication it seems. By law, the report is always to come from the White House, not the military, and Petraeus is to testify before Congress. The White House can spin it however it wants. Isanyoneelsefeelinglikeapuppetinfrontofa television withonly govemmentprogramming? ' ^ o u cou ' c ' re P' ace any pe rson i n a position of fame, power or authority with any other person living.or deadrwhom would you swap for whom? C f ^ - P f I nfnrtirin J I d 11 1 1 1 1 C L I I U I I ever forthcoming, he became the scrappy stalwart leader. Later, as the situation worsened and Bush came under attack, he became (in our news) the beleaguered president in whom our hopes were uncertain. Maliki was held in this position for quite some time. It is interesting to note that the time in which he has been in this medi$ status is rather closely correlated with Bush's dropping approval ratings. And the fact that Bushes approval has been hovering at near all-timelows has facilitated the need for a new- position. So he sent more troops this year and tried to forestall the censure in Congress with the old rhetoric that while things were bad in Iraq (a grand admission for him), we could win with more military force. This didn't fly. Even with all Karl Rove's finesse, it didn't fly. People finally had either become fed up, or had seen through his facade. But this left Bush and his presidency in moral-oops-I mean mortal jeopardy. The push toward September saw the previous Congressional supporters of Bush abandoning ship for more secure political positioning in upcoming elections. Voters no longer supported the war or Bush. Hence, Congress remained vocal all summer against Bush's Iraq policy and decision. Bush needed a scapegoat, and fast. And this is where Maliki comes back in. Finally Maliki's position in the U.S. news changed from our 'uncertain investment' to the possible reason for Bush's failed Iraq policy. I would swap a certain professor with Koner and then I would reallyfeel'welcomed back; : I would swap Hunter S.Thompson for 8111 OTIelthy. Imagine the Acapulco shirts, the cigarette holder and the smart-ass pothead sense of humor editorializing on current issues. I'd be curious to hear Thompson's definition of O'Reilly's favorite subject the so-called'culture warT '••* -..";, Eleanor Cleverly-Takahashl I would replace Rupert Murdoch of News Corp with Robin Williams the most Influential media conglomerate in the world... A lot more humor; a lot less bullshit. I guess I'm all for change-1 Imagine any epubllcan OR democrat would have trouble getting elected If Robin was behind the news. Godi I'd probably break down and get Jane Austen for Paris Hilton. Maybe Aust would, you know, make being Int witty, and non-trashy actually appeal t : :%-.ix-. masses. (What?!?) At the very least ^ ' • ' • J w > 1 ^ too self-respecting to carry ar ''^X'ffi^ '.?.'•* stupid Chihuahuas all the time. Carmel Hoopes-Clark new meaning to the term "Boston Tea Party," Craig's and all the other sex scandals among the "moral superiority" party may signal the ushering in of a new era in American politics. At this rate, it won't be too much longer that the GOP will hold the keys to the realm of moral sanctimony. At this rate, the philosophically bankrupt republicans and democrats won't be able to play the morality card against each other any t longer. True moral crusaders will have to switch par-, ties or create a new one of their own. Wouldn't that change be great? Imagine a political arena in which officials are elected based, on their competence, vision and ideas rather than to' <fo the same. Encourtheir lip service to dogma. age them h to go on out there re So go ahead republicans, and take one for the teatfii. gay it up. Have your extra- Or ( J I V E dne TO the team marital affairs. You're actu- if that's .Wjtat they prefer. ally doing a public service. ,vv And while you're at it, en- •; 'l'~[ i >- r courage more of your peers "•* |