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Show Pq Friday, Sept. 14, 2007 ge f5 O f f the Mark • Parisi Brevity • Guy & Rod DON'T WORRY, HAL, THINK IF YOU POUR SALT ON THEM, THEY COMPLETELY SHRIVEL UP. iaijurf- $*mzr\t^pCQdi.\dr.d ft S c o o t a f i S t e v e • Steve W e l l e r srweiier@cc.usu.edu F-Minus • Tony Carillo HANSON INSURANCE Of/bert • Scott Adams I FIGURE AS LONG AS WE'RE MIGRATING, MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THAT I S A RIDICULOUS LIE THAT ONLY A GULLIBLE MORON WOULD BELIEVE. OUR NEW VP OF MARKETING PROMISES TO IMPROVE OUR REVENUES BY TEN BILLION PERCENT! OH YEAH? HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE FACT THAT HE BELIEVED IT? A FEW EXTRA BUCKS. J.T. & Tea • JT. Gould So, U)HAT AXE: you C 0 6 TO D O ? THE t- is irt A • http://jtandtea.tripod.com you Last Ditch Effort • John Kroes w MUST UAVZ aom 6oex & wzsTKnoul rti oauva rue IMJDLCttD/ OUJH DOMJ, STWC, n JUST MAX oonu-max. w « JKJUUAM 6om UCTHOQX CA0U6 TUROU3U mu.,m PDVT wurr TO txmtaiyou. MtDVAUCZ. The Joke's on You! • This week's winner is: LORIN STEVENS Who's caption is: www.ktt-ooUnaxorn C20M John KTOM Breaking the Mold So FIRST cuss? • K . L o c k e 'kenneth.locke@aggiemail.usu.edu. "Now THAT'S what I call a $200 haircut!" A WOULDN'T THERE'S WO VfcY-m#r CoUD ^OO-5TUP£NT CLASS. Ttl£ M /WH/tr; IS YOUR. Watch next week for your INSTRUCTOR OR UNTIL NBCf CUSS, chance to add a gag line! offiee(9s tatesman.usu.edu HATCH FfllOJW F°P V<>i)P GAG U N t f (WAMt( CLAWS . . . AL^WC WITH Y*UP fttST GAGfI 1766 Customer Care Operator $9 1769 Compressor Mechanic DOE 1776 Part-lime Receptionist 1786 Nanny 7 $ % 1771 Document Specialist S7-8.50 per hour 1788 Compuler/nelwork Technician 1792 Sales 1790 Window Washer $9/hr 1789 Documenlation Control Cleric 0083 Auto Oetailer $7.00/hr 8 0590 Cashier $6/hr 1351 Carwash Worker $6/hr. 1798 C.n.a. $8.40 1806 Child Care Worker S6.00*/hr D.O.E. 1811 Asst. Lawn Tech 10..00hr 1814 Child Care/nanny D.O.E. 1805 Janitor S6.50/hr 1826 Sales Professional $10-$12/hr 4264 Counter Help DOE 0800 Dock Worker $5.15 up to 7.85/hr 5 5 1 8 3 4 1 3 2 6 5 9 9 8 2 4 1 3 7 8 6 4 4 2 3 1 9 2 Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 grid contains the digits 1 through 9 with no repeats. Statesman Sudoku puzzles will range from very easy to very difficult. Check them all out. 7 Answers are found at www.utahstatesman .com look for OPTIONS: Sudoku Answers! 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Class $9.83 hrly 1941 Aide 7.00 1942 Substitute $6.50 1943 Community Support Stall $7.00 Health insurance Guaranteed Student Issued WITH YOUR ORDER OF ANV ROLL, (435) 563-2770, 695 S MAIN ST. SMITHFIELD www.Janetanderson. mymedlcalquotes.com HER?* m www.utahstatesman.com /classifieds Do it from your own computer! Place Class Ads online and in the paper! Read by thousands* Bikes, ?ara?e sales, books, for rent, help wanted, services needed, services provided, PERSONALS!, cars, computers, tell someone you love them!....Do it all! Crossword Puzzler • MCT •BE RATATOUIULE THE SIMPSONS £) DAILY 445.7.30 SATMAT5225.230 (PG13)fOAfLYd3O.7:15. SAT M&T 1215.220 OCEAN'S 13 RUSH HOUR 3 PG13] EVENINGS 9:40 PG13)EVBWGS7:00 9t50 SUN NO 9.50 UNDERDOG PIRATES OF THE PGlDHlY 4:15 SAT MAT CARIBBEAN 3 1200.2:15 FG13I EVEttNGS 9:30 TRANSFORMERS (PG13) DAILY 3:55.6:45.925 EAT MAT 1235 SUN NO 9 2 5 Marilyn MONROE in Die SEVEN YEAR/ ITCH THEATRE Friday: 7:00 & 9:00 Saturday: 5:00,7:00 & 9:00 $5 Adults S3 Children ACROSS 1 Great balls ol hydrogen 6 Snil 10 Untidy condition 14 British soldier's jacket 15 Southern vegetable 16 Off-ramp 17 "Fear ol Flying* author Jong 18 Protection promise 20 Assimilate 22 Sugar unit 23 Holiday forerunner 24 Cohort of Curly 25 Like Batman or Robin 27 Control board 29 Danger 30 Tennis units 31 Jessica of "Dark Angel* 34 Spelling competition 35 Sadistic attitude 38 Tanned hide 40 Desort train 41 Stormy seabird 42 Still and _ 43 Ship 44 Road fee 45 Oven light 47 Net fabric 49 Berth choice 50 Nile cobra 53 Indivisible 54 Oft limits 56 Conundrum 56 Shakespeare history play 61 Stares off 62 Smarting 63 Em, to Dorothy 64 All thumbs 65 Cameo stono 66 Riga resident 67 Aeries 1 2 4 jS III 13 u IT 1 ?* VI 1 8/31/07 © Z907 Tribune U*<£ All right* r*««rved. 6 Greedy one 7 Luau instrument 8 Identity theft, e.g. 9 Cultivate 10 Stag party attendees 11 Wide-ranging 12 Strainer 13 Girder substance 19 Materialize 21 Gym weight 26 Docking platform 28 Ultimately 29 Pound a beat 30 Not so grand 31 Swiss peak 32 "Spider-Man" man Stan. DOWN 33 Leon Uris book 1 Seethe with 36 Give the ax to anger 37 Finish line 2 Supercharger 39 Capital of 3 LJco rice flavoring Montana 4 Puerto 40 Shear 5 Unplentiful 42 Deputize Solutions 46 Germination 47 Bulk of the body 48 Alliance 49 Excessive 50 Wood trimmors 51 Took a nap 52 Nuisances 55 Spoken 57 Hamlet, e.g. 59 Spell 60 "Addams Family" member |