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Show WeekendDiversions Page 14 Friday, Sept. 14, 2007 Facebook: It's a devil of an e-world [I continuedfrom page 6 This chain of realistic e-drink-related applications could go on forever. You could even go as far as the e-alcoholics-anonymous application - Hi. My name is Dave and I'm an e-alcoholic. Hi Dave - the e-cirrhosis-of-the-liver application or the e-died-alone-and-penniless application. We need something else to keep it positive, for the kids. Good thing there are thousands of other positive Facebook applications, and I love coming up with these because I know some computer programmer with a pocket-protector fashion sense and a World-or-Warcraft vvorldview will attempt to make them. For me and every other guy out there, we'd like to see the e-sex application - only as a supplement to our real-life sex lives, or lack thereof. And since Facebook would have to support safe e-sex, you could send your friends e-condoms, because we wouldn't want to spread eclamydia or be the reason behind any e-shotgun weddings. Maybe all this talk of applications needs some sort of public service announcement to, well ... warn the public about the increasingly ridiculous things to come from Facebook. My PSA would go something like this. Imagine me dressed as Ron Burgandy. "I'm here today to talk to you about a grave danger infecting our world today. "We live in a world where danger is all around - al Qaida, Nickelback songs, global warming, Hinder songs, polluted air, "So you think you can dance?/' senators with a wide stance in the bathroom, illegal immigrants and Burger King, which includes the menu and that damn King. "But there is a more pressing matter. "Our Facebook pages are being bombarded with applications. Applications do nothing more than force you to live in constant fear of being forced to compare your friends, rate your friends, send drinks to your friends, choose whether you want to be a zombie, vampire, ninja, pirate, jedi or sith. By the way, screw Facebook for sucking the awesomeness out of zombies, ninjas and jedis. "It must stop. "For a nominal donation of $17.98, you can join the Coalition for a Less Painful Facebook Experience. The first five dollars of your contribution go directly toward finding the creators of these applications, putting them in public stocks and throwing rotten kumquats at them. The other $12.98 may be used for other administrative fees, including, but not limited to, 12-packs of Pabst, half-gallons of cheap rum, nudie magazines or other necessities. "Remember we're not just doing this for our generation; we're securing the future for our children, so they can freely post on each other's walls without worrying about someone biting chumps or worry about what type of e-roofie got slipped into an edrink they received." Dave Baker is a senior in print journalism. Comments and questions can be sent to da.bake® aggiemail.usu.edu Handball: Students play hard <& getting acqugintec Nannies Wanted Excellent salaries, car, paid airfare & vacations. 800-549-2132, www. TSNnannies. com People wanled io supervise mildly disabled, people with Iheir daily living skills and in the community on company-paid activities such as movies, outdoor activities, bowling, fishing, etc. Flex shifts, PT/FT in Ihe Logan area. Apply al www.gochrysalis. com or call 435-753-6606 AGSNEEDJOBS. COM Paid Survey Takers Needed In Logan. 100% FREE To Join! Click on Surveys. Talent Needed Films. Commercials, Modeling, Promotions, Extra work available! S10-S95 Hourly. Free Workshops. 8014380067 Movie Extras New opportunities (or upcoming productions. All looks needed no experience required for cast calls. Call 877-218-6224 Undercover Shoppers Earn up lo $150 per day. Under cover Shoppers needed to |udge retail and dining establishments Exp. Not RE. Call 800-7224791 23 People needed to lose 5-100 pounds! Afl Natural, 100% Guaranteed FREE SAMPLES! Call 1-888-626-1545 or www. onlocktoenergy.com Sludio 600 a Sail Lake non-alcoholic dance club is looking for highly motivated, outgoing, lun people lo work part lime on your campus and surrounding area. Go to mystudio600.com for details. other combos. Great deals on other supplies, gear. 530 S. Main in Logan--UNOER THE GIANT FLY. Stop in before the sale for comparable savings! 435-755-6870 For Rent Free Rent! Work 2 hrs/day in our home business for free rent. Flexible hrs. & work extra lor pay. Live on Hyrum Lake, use our home theater, exercise rm, computers & printers, learn lo make a six figure income in online retailing while going to school. Call 801-548-1017 Two bedroom, new furnishing, heat included, w/d hookups, dw, $500-$525/mo ns/np 435-750-5563 New 3bed 2.5 bath cond A C . hookups, 2 car garage, cable wired, $65Q/mo. NS. NP 435-512-2078 Announcements Meyer Gallery: Call for Entries! Enter our Juried Utah Artist Show. Call 800-649-8180 for more information. Cash awards and prizes! Deadline: Sept. 15th. www.meyergallery.com MATH 900.1010, 1050 CLASSES Classes start soon. MATH 1050 Refresher. $111. Tues and Thurs nights. 5:30 to 8:30 pm. Sept 18 lo Dec 6. MATH 1010 Refresher. $97. Mon. Wed. Thurs. 1:00 to 3:00 pm. Oct 1 to Dec 20 OR Tues and Thurs nights. 5:30 to 8:30 pm. Oct 2 to Dec 20. MATH 900 Refresher. $97. Mon, Wed, Fri. 1:30 to 3:30 pm. Sept 17 to Dec 5. Classes meet at BATC in Logan. Registralion: Please call (435) 753-6780. Other Questions: Please call (435) 750-3238. Help wanted House cleaning service wanted once a week, reliable and responsible person. SiOrtiour, North Logan. 435 760 4787 Help wanted planting trees, digging holes and using wheelbarrow. Must be able to lift 70 pounds and work hard. $12' hr flexible hours. North Logan 881-3563 ask for Laura 31 N. Main St. 753-1292 ITR^IILHEAD) Business Opps S20K Plus Monthly Real Estate University, earn while you learn, receive college credit, call today to join us at our next FREE 2 day workshop 866-889-9440 Be Your Own Boss! Work From Home call 435-213-3480 PtWtt $100 A The Buckle $15 The BouAU $15 "l probably Student Jobs For more information about jobs, see USU Student Employment, TSC 106. On-Campus jobs. C115-03 Purchasing Assistant BOE C041-02 Food Service Worker $5.15/hr C208-96 Tutor $7.25/hr C204-07 Engineering Graduate Assistant 8OE C274-91 Applied Music Instructor Negotiable C209-06 Police Reserve 10.00 C262-07 Orchard Worker $7.00-$8.00'hour C240-06 4-h Volunteer Development Assistant $7.50 C377-02 Skyroom Server $3/hr + lips C270-07 Undergraduate Research Assistant $7.50 per hour C186-05 Tutor 5.50 C29I-07 Math Lab Assistant-unitah Basin Or Logan $10/hr C293-07 Ly5imeler Technician $125 per month C251-07 Teaching Assistant 8 C315-07 Math Tutor $7 C314-07 Agriculture Intern $7.00/hr C429-96 Mowing $-6.50/hr C331-07 Fisheries Technician 58-510. DOE C440-06 Skyroom Kitchen Cook 7.00 C322-07 Registered Dietician based on edu & experience C280-06 Water Conservation Intern $11/ hr+mi!eage C336-07 Aquatic Technician $8.50-12.00 BOE C396-05 Lab Accounting Assistant BOE C263-95 Model (art Classes) $8 draped. $10 undraped C018-93 Writer BOE C017-93 Photographer BOE C349-07 Wildlife Technician C361-07 Water Check Field Worker S8 per/Hr C364-07 Water Conservation Coordinator $11 per/hr C368-07 Grader $8.00/hr C377-07 Media Prep Lab Aide C376-07 Software Engineer $14/hour C327-06 Painter Laborer $7/hr C379-07 Sports/recreation Hospitality Entry Posi $3.50/hr C383-07 Agricultural Research Assistant $7.50 per hour C081-06 Ropes Course Facilitator 6.50-7.50 BOE C395-07 Resloration Ecology Technician SiO.OO/hr C399-07 Summer Program Aid $6.75 C456-05 Parttime Custodian $7.50/hr C361-06 Lab Technican $15rtir C412-07 Grassland Ecology Field Assistant $910 per hour C288-07 Field Technician DOE + room and board C419-07 Farm Laborer $7.00 • negotiable C442-07 Intern-lamily And Consumer Science Educ. $8/hour C441-07 Weber County Fes Intern $8/hour C446-07 Lab Assistant 8.00 C445-07 Lab Technician 10.00 C408-07 On On One Direct Care Summer Program 7.00/hr C335-97 Biological Technician $8/hr C180-06 Biological Engineer based on experience C054-07 Coder $6.00 C174-06 Research Assistant $8/hour C473-07 Mechanic Helper 8.00 OR DOE C419-04 Prep Cook $6 to | 7 per hour C312-07 Undergraduate Research Assistant Photo and information complied by Debra Hawkins (summer $8/tiour C277-07 Night Janitor $6.09 pe.r horn ... ' C404-06 Usu Dining Services Employee 6.00rtir or BOE C484-07 Field Researcher $10'hr C197-05 Research Technician C498-07 Skyroom Server/busser C133-02 Junction Worker $5.15/hr or BOE C560-05 Hub Server $ 6 % C296-05 American Sign Lanugage Interpreter C490-07 Research Assistant 8.00 -10.00 C519-07 Day Training Aide $6.50 C005-04 Research Assistant $1500/monlh C523-07 Molecular Lab Technician C393-07 Sign Language Assistant For Classroom based on experience C034-OS Early Morning Custodian (part Time) $8.00 per hour C024-08 Laboratory Technician C078-92 Night And Weekend S6.00/hr C073-04 Math Tutor $7.00.'hr C426-96 Landscaping Crew Helper $8/hr C014-93 Grader $6.00% C371-04 S I Leader Usu 1350 002 $7.00/hr C218-03 Graphic Design/commercial Arts $7/hr C425-07 Lifeguard 6.00 C437-04 Catering Server $5.15/hr 4 lips C456-06 Bakers $7 to $8 per hour C264-01 Electrical Engineer - Soph, Junior S810/hr. BOE C049-08 Pilates Instructor S12-S17 C397-05 Lab Technician $7.50mr. C232-04 Part Time Lab Technician $300'monlh C070-08 Accounting Intern $7.00 C075-08 Summer Academy Chaparones $170 lump sum C074-08 Landscape Laborer $7-9 Hour DOE C124-92 Speech Instructional Assistant $5.85/ hr C082-08 Customer Service Associate $9 / hour min. C087-08 Laboratory Assistant 7.00 per hour C250-04 Grader $5.62/hr C091-08 Part-time E$l Instructor $850 per credit hour C044-04 Statistics Tutor $7.00 C135-91 Intramural Official $6 to $8 per game C097-08 Research Assistant 8.50 C160-06 Substitute Teacher 50.00 Per Day C101-08 Museum Tour Guide $6.00/hr C029-07 Computer Programmer $10-$14 per hour C238-97 Clerk/secretary $5.15/hour C341-96 Moving Crew $8/hr C006-09 Asst. Webmaster/sys. Administrator $7/hr min, (DOE) C260-05 Animal Carelaker $6.00mour C163-07 Marketing Research Assislanl $10.00 per hour C108-08 Graphic Designer $8.00 CO92-08 Graphics-Oesigner/web Design $8.007-• hr • • C406-02 Software Tester BOE C386-07 Cashier $5.85 C257-OO Programmer $8-$12 C059-97 Ushers And Ticket Takers $5.85 C191-07Sollware Assistant BOE C112-08 Class Assislanl $7-9 based on experience C054-03 Event Coverage & Set-ups $7/hr C023-01 Network And Systems Administrator Depends on experience C128-08 Field Research Assistant $8.50 - $10.00 /hour C101-07 Laboratory Assistant BOE C135-08 Farmworker 8.00 C132-08 Physics 2210 Tutor 7.00 C131-08 Genetics Tutor (biol 3060) 6.50 C129-08 Writing Tutor 6.50-7.00 C194-98 Undergrad Ta's For Labs & Paper Graders $6.50/hr C130-08 Biology Tutor 1010, 1610 6.00-6.50 C107-07 Quality Assurance Assistant 6-8 C139-08 Assistant Tennis Coach C140-08 Bookstore Art Associate $8/min. DOE C136-08 Dispatcher $8.00/hr DOE C151-08 Housing Ambassador $8/hr C152-08 Tutor For Wild 4880 (genetics) 6.50 C491-90 Housekeeper $5.85 C360-90 Security Officer C358-07 Education Graduate Assistant up lo $11/hour C153-08 Preschool Classroom Assistant depends on experience C012-93 Computer Consultant $6/hr C154-08 Engineering Tutor For Cee & Ece Student 8.00/hr C156-08 Family And Consumer Sciences Fall Intern $8.00 C157-08 Special Project Assislanl $7.50 / hour C391-07 Electrician's Helper $8.50 • $10.00 DOE C163-08 Lab Technician $7.00 C343-03 Lab Assistant $7.0Qmr C629-97 Computer Help Desk Consultant $7.50/ hr C259-06 Geomorphology Lab Assistant depends on experience C611-95 Advertising Representative Commission C457-07 Lab Technician 8.00 C249-96 Peer Advisor 56.00/hr C127-07 Cna/driver $100/day-CNA-$9/hr-driver C171-95 Note Taker $5.15/hr C166-07 Geology Research Assistant $8-9/hr C173-07 Lab Equipment Operator $8/hr C179-07 Student Systems Administrator 12/hr MOVIES 5 2450 N Main Logan BOURNE ULTIMATUM IPG13] 4:30. 7:10. 9:30 SAT/SUN £ 0 0 NANNY DIARIES (PG13J 4 25. 7:05. 9:25 SAT/SUN 2:05 STADIUM 8 535 W 100 N, Providence MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY (G) 4:15.6:55. 9:00 SAT/SUN 1:45 MOVING McALLISTERire ] HALLOWEEN (R]i2:35. 4:25. 7:10, 9:10. SAT/SUN 2:10 2:50. 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT HAIRSPRAY [PG] 4:10. 7:OO, 9:20 M R . WOODCOCK *(PG13) 1 as. SAT/SUN 1:5O 3:05, 5.05, 7:05, 9:05 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT For Sale FLY FISHING, OUTDOOR SALE Sept 20, 21, 22: 9:00 am - 6:00 pm (Sat until 4:00 pm). $5 T-SHIRTS. 20% OFF G LOOMIS ROD/ REEL COMBOS. 25% off \ Utah colleges, including the University of Utah and Brigham Young University, compete in the tournaments. "It always feels good to beat BYU," Herm said. Bateman and Jackson were part of the team that participated in making a winning video for the Simple Green handball video contest this year. The video about handball and it's future won $5,000, which Jackson said would go toward equipment and tournament fees. "The video was sending a message about the dying sport of handball and how it has been in the shadow of racquetball," Jackson said. "It's about people who are veterans to the sport passing on the torch." -amanda.m@aggicmail.usu.edu officc@statesman.usu.edu Help Wanted , treat Mexico $5 Brittany [M continued from page 7 statewide tournaments against other students. Zach Bateman, senior in management and human resources, has been playing handball for four years and said he was completely new to handball the first time he took the class. Bateman went on to become the B-division champion at last year's state tournament and said his favorite part of the handball class is getting to play with the older guys who come in. "They are great," Bateman said. "They have grown up playing and are training the next generation." Herm said several students who are in the handball class travel and compete against other schools. While USU has virtually the only organized racquetball program in the state, students from most CIS JaxJoeir The Bustkle $27 SHOOT 'EM UP* (R] ins, Aggies- There's a new blender in town! ! en E 8 E Buy one 20 oz smoothie get one FREE with your student ID Smoothie King #805 2129 North Main St. North Logan Open 7:00 am- 11:00 pm Only good at participating location. Not good with any other offer. One per person per visit. Some restrictions may apply. NO CASH VALUE. Free Smoothie Is of equal or lesser value. Expires 9 / 2 2 / 0 7 3:15. 5:15 . 7:15, 9:15 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT good to yourself CACHE VALLEY 3 1300 N Main-behind HIP mall RETURN WITH HONOR*(PG) 1240. D R A G O N W A R S * [PG13] 7 OO, 2:50. 5:00. 7:10. 9:20 FBI SAT MIDNIGHT BOURNE ULTIMATUM (PG13) 3:OO. 5:15. 7.30, 9:45 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT BRAVE ONE *(R] QO 4 : 0 0 , 6:55, 9 : 2 0 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT STARDUST (PG13) 1:20.4:00. 6:35, 9:15 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT 3:1OTOYUMA*(R)125. 4:10, 6:30. 9 : 0 0 FRI SAT MIDNIGHT 9:00 SAT/SUN 4:20 HARRY POTTER 5(PG13]6 5O, 9:30 SAT/SUN 4:10 S U P E R B A D [G] 6:55. 9:15 SAT/SUN 4:15 LOGAN ART CINEMA 795 N Main BECOMING JANE (PG] 7 : 0 0 , 9 : 1 5 SAT/SUN 4 : 3 0 'DISCOUNT PASSES NOT ACCEPTED C181-07 Research Assislanl 'G033-06 Late Evening Custodian (part Time) $6.00 per hour C202-07 Temporary Bindery Worker 7.50 C203-06 Manager Off-Campus Jobs 0090 Handyman $7/hr 1047 Youth Counselor BOE 1246 Houseworker negotiable 4535 Maintenance Assiatant $7 to $9. per hour 4537 House Cleaner $7 to $9. per hour 1305 Peisonal Attendanl/cna room & board 1326 Aide Room & board plus stipend 1384 Technical Support/syslem Admin 15$* alter differential 1017Cook$10,'hr 1076 Assistant Manager $11-$13/hr BOE 1426 Sales/account Representative $50,000+ 1420 Life Skills Instructor starling at $7.25 0037 Shuttle Driver $9-10 1475 Live-in Nanny Full Time/permenantjn Ca 400-450 a week 1499 Market Research Agent 6.50 to 8.25 1507 Web Designer - Html - Xhtml • Css Negoliable 1504 Center Sales And Service Associate 8.5010 1506 Personal Assistanl For Elderly Woman negotiable 1508 Child Care Provider Negotiable 1527 Cate Worker Al Birch Creek Golf Course $6.25 • tips 1531 Director Of Bridgeriand Literacy $10.50 plus lull benefits 1532 Crew Member see job descnption 1542 Prep-cook $7.00 - $8.00/hour 0490 Housekeeper $7.25/hour starting 1307 Aide 7/hr 1555 Bookkeeper 35000 1184 Landscaping 8.50 starling 1565 Psycho-social Rehab. Specialist $16.00/ hi 2323 Delivery Driver $6.50/hr. (starting) 4330 Full Time Shuttle Driver $9>hr. 1566 Warehouse Worker $10 1457 Movers $200 upon completion 4122 Tire Tech 1581 Cna 1580 Shipping And Receiving Clerk $7.50 1619 Nanny negotiable 0181 Floral Delivery 7.00/hr 5196 Landscaping $10/hr 1644 Bookkeeper DOE i 1643 Accountant DOE 1634 Safes Associate/ Management DOE 1640 Nanny Based on Experience 1641 Engineering Aid $11.01 ph 1642 Auditor DOE 1648 Clerk $10.09-12.36 ph 1649 Machinist BOE ; 1403 Lawn Care Technician 10-12 1821 Cosmotologist 1669 Medical Technician Competitive Pay 1670 Sales BOE 2023 Delivery Driver Starling $8/hr 1662 Babysitter $150 month 1694 Case Manager $8.22/hour (minimum) 1284 Rooter S a w hi. BOE 1707 Internet Services Marketing 15% of your sales revenue 1703 Application Engineer salaried w/ benefits 0871 Electronic Assembler wage position w/benelits 1709 House Keeper DOE . ; ; 1720 Nanny $50/wk 1733 Child Care Provider 6.00/hr 1736 Pizza Maker/ General $ 7.00 per hour 1727 Asst. Cheer Coach BOE 1728 Sales Associate 8 + commissions 1737 Shipment Personnel Neg , 1738 Counler Help $7.50 1741 Web Developer 10 1746 Carwash Attendant 4726 Bill Collector Base plus Commission 1743 Technical Support $9 - $14/hour 1745 Web Developer Salary - BOE I 1748 Internal Systems Manager Salary - BOE 1749 Child Care To discuss 0328 Office Worker slart @ $7.25 1761 Party Host $6.75 1759 Child Caregiver Negotiable per experience 1756 All Positions DOE • 1750 Various Positions . 1592 Aid starts at $8.75 ! 1767 Licensed Nail Technician hourly or com-; mission ' , } J 9 , * r " T • J)| |