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Show W Wednesday, March Z 2007 The moob curse - hey, my eyes are up here T W U O W K SOCIETY Ot: PHI KAPPA PHI The USU Chapter of Phi Kappa Phi Announces the annual Junior Scholarship Competition for the 2006-2007 school year Scholarship Criteria: 1) Academic excellence and achievement 2) 65 semester credits by the end of Fall semester, 2006 (minimum of 30 credits at USU) Applications for the scholarship are available in Ag. Sci. Bldg., room 136 DEADLINE for submission of application: Friday, March 9th, 2007 There are two major things in the world that 1 never used to understand: the mystery that is woman, and the appeal of George Clooney. This summer, however, all of that changed when i had one of those epiphany moments when everything suddenly became clear to me. It's not the kind of epiphany that most people would snare with the world, but I'm pretty sure no one reading this nas any respect for me left, so what the heck. I had been living in China for about five weeks. All I had done since I got there GEICO. A15-minutecall could save you 15% on car insurance. 1513 N. Hillfield Rd., Suite 3 (8O1) 752-O485 everyone what staring at my was eat, watch the World moobs. Cup and let little kids beat I was overcome with me at badminton. Hardly the lifestyle to turn me into a kung a rush of new and mixed feelings. I felt objectified. I felt fu master, but it was fun. exhilarated. I felt used, and I Then one day I was felt smarter. bouncing down the stairs to It was strange to feel so the street when I noticed that I was really bouncing, and not enlightened and so dirty at the same time. in the places a male I can only person such as myself Steve Shinney assume this is should be bouncing. how women feel Somewhere higher. all the time. Only At first I thought it would have it must be just to be worse for a figment of my women because imagination, but I people really are looked down and staring at their sure enough, I had woman-boobs man-boobs. Geek Beat (woobs). steveshinney@cc.usu.edu The appearance This of man-boobs - or experience has moobs as I shall refer changed me as a man. I try to them from here on out to no longer treat women - was something I had hoped as a walking pair of woobs, to avoid entirely or at least because I know what it's like until I was too old to ever get to be a walking pair of moobs, pulled into a shirts-on-skins I never used to understand basketball game. why women would get so No such luck. upset when guys would check The day I grew moobs was out their cleavage. My attitude a total eye-opener though. was, if you don't want guys It was as if I were seeing staring at your woobs, you the world for the first time. should leave them at home. Not as a man and not as a Now I understand that that woman, but as some strange is no more possible than me combination of the two. leaving my moobs in my With every step I took and locker. each bump in the road the bus hit, I understood women I am a changed man. better. Or at least, I was. Every since I came back from For the first time in my life, vacation and started working I felt self-conscience about my chest. Even though I know out again, my body has returned to its original studly it wasn't the case, I felt like state. Every day since my moobs have been downgraded, I've found it harder to connect with women. We no longer have anything in common. I've tried to start up conversations, just to get back in touch with my feminine side (which was my front side), but they all end in disaster. I'll be minding my own business when some female person with parts of her woobs exposed walks by. "Nice chest," I tell her, figuring she could use a compliment from someone who understands her pain. "What?" she demands, not nearly as appreciative as I assumed she would be. So I clarify. "Your chest, it's a good one. I admire you're ability to have it permanently. I had quite the pair of moobs for a while, but I had to get rid of them because of the..." By this point I'm usually talking to myself or knocked out. Don't worry ladies, I'll try to stay enlightened. Maybe I should eat more pudding. I'm still confused about the George Clooney thing though. Geek on. Steve Shinney is a senior in computer science. He cannot touch his elbows behind his back don't even bother asking. Send comments to him at steveshinney@cc.usu.edu. USU student loves singing, dancing and is afraid of Jack Nicholson Caught on Campus Random Campus Profilesj beaver Tory Tryon Layton, Utah Freshman German m o u n t a i n SKI FREE!!! On Little Beaver from 2:30-4 p.m. Monday thru Friday only. Stop by the ticket office for a free ticket. also I have some German heritage and I wanted to become fluent, so I thought the best way to become fluent is to major in it. US: Why did you choose Utah State? Tryon: I came up here a couple of years ago for youth conference and I fell in love with the campus. I also thought it would be far enough away without being too far away from home. It's only about an hour away which made it ideal. Season Pass Sale Sale March 7 through April 13, 2007 Pass valid as soon as it is purchased... Good the rest of this season and all of next season. Children 5 and under FREE when adult of same family purchases a season pass, NO REFUNDS! NOT GOOD AT NIGHT! Pass available at Logan office: Tyler Larson/tmlanon@ccusu.edu TORY TRYON, a freshman in German, said she rode a camel when she was three and would never want to be a star in "The Sound of Music." Tryon: Oh...Anything but teach. I would hate to be a teacher in Utah. Utah Statesman: What is your major? 1351 East 700 North, Logan Tory Tryon: German [next to Fredrico's Pizza) 8 am to 5:30 pm, Monday - Saturday US: What made decide to go the German route? US: What do you want to do with your German degree? / / ZION PONDEROSA R A N C H R E S O R T Kitchen, Recreation Guides, Housekeeping, Photography, Front Desk, Maintenance, Grounds Crew, Auto Mechanic's, General Management Interns, Kid's Camp, Wranglers. . .. " T *v / wwvi/.z US: What do you like the most about Utah State? Tryon: I took it in high school and really liked it, Tryon: I like how quiet it is and that it's a small town. Usually I'm a city girl but it's nice here, and the campus is really pretty. • TRYON see page 17 |