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Show ;•;;.. mm Sept ]£ 2005W] The Funny g A collection of student-producea A syndicated comics. krl@cc.usu.edu Soon 4t> be buil+ on Minis st+e: UNOCCUPIED EYESORE Look who we've got our Hanes on now. WFry& T.Lewis SORRY, ONE OF THOSE PESKY FRIUS£$.. YOU WERE SAYING? YOUU &E WIPED OUT &Y AN INVASION OF LEAN, MEAN F I H SrtART MACHINES.'... DINOSAUR BUPOY...THE ERA OF GIANT GAS ROAD HOGS LIKE YOU WELL I FOR ONE AM SICK OF HOPPING... FROM NOW ON ITS SOOSALOO OR BUST. ".•• and t^en / $0+ a yeast Infection fro*v> a(( tfcose Nice job.' Lots of funny gags!, Coming close were Jolie Lake. Tara Bawden. Kristi Baker and Randall Sanders, belt the winner is Robert Schmidt/ whose caption is shown above i/T. Clark &S. Nickel OJ003 King FMUJTB* SyrxSeste \ VWEM I'M THOUGH WITH YOU, YOU'LL &B A LEAM, M UNLIKELY TO BE HEARP FROM YOUR CROCHEW6 MACHINE! PRILL SERGEANT DROP AMD GIVE A COOL BREAK-PANCE MOVEl WE'RE up, SAY, Try again next week/ 9iOO-ISHi THEM ARE oM ME! Contact: 435-797-1775 • FAX: 797-1760 statesman@cc.usu.edu www.utahstatesman.com Please Note CLASSIFIED AD DEADLINES are one working day prior to the day o( publication is desired by 10 a.m. Cost per submission is 20 cents per word $2 minimum. Minimum of three publications per ad. Reduced rales (or quantity insertions are available. Commercial rates vary, depending on frequency. VISA, Master-card and Discover are also accepted for payment. Use 797-1775 to place phone ads, Advertisers should carefully read the classified ad form. TSC 105. The Utah Statesman reserves the right to refuse any ad, display or classified. The Utah Statesman has authority to edit and locate any classified ad as deemed appropriate. ONCE- IN-A-LIFETIME EXPERIENCE Nauvoo, Illinois four-month young adult mission Summer 2006. Young Performing STAGE Missionaries OR Young Performing BAND Missionaries, (including clarinets, French horns, trumpets, trombones, and flue-piccolo a tubas and a percussions). Single male (high school graduates through age 24) and single female (ages 19 through 24) for daily and nightly musical productions. LDS Church Service Mission rules apply. Physically demanding mission - must be In good hearth. Email applications available at nauvoo-productions@ldschurch.org , Or write to Nauvoo Productions 15 East South Temple 1M Salt Lake City, Utah 84150 Please send your name, address and phone number & preference to STAGE PERFORMERS or BAND PERFORMERS. Send a selfaddressed legal-size envelope. No exceptions to age limits! Mission date: May 5 through August. 19, 2006. 530,000/month PT/FT Free info! Positions limited http://hop.clickbank.net/ ?pdreher/lfree STATS TUTOR for drojUn stats center with Academic Resource Center. Tues, Thur, Fri. 2-6 p.m. Pay based on experience and classes taken. Contact Pat at 797-1128. Goto for See Nate Wilson GREAT DEALS! "Ask about the NEW 2005 Ford College Student Purchase Program!" Earn $8 to $15 per hour commission selling subscriptions to the Scott Lake Tribune & Deseret News at retail stores in Logan area. Must have own transportation, call Darrel (801) 792-4819. AGSneedjobs.com We need Paid Survey Takers in Logan. 100% FREE. To join click on Surveys IMMEDIATE JOBS, AUDITIONS. Actors, extras, models. All ages. No exp. $72$700 day! Member 8BB Utah. (801) 680-0660. for Rent Female Shared room $200/mo. util. Included. Contract negotiable 563-8350 Guys, looking for a great place to live? Monthly or yearly rates; Private bedrooms, new carpet, blinds, appliances. Close to USU and downtown 468 North 400 East, 7521516. Male private and lemale shared .contracts available ® discounted rate. Apply on-fine ® www.cobblecfeekapgrtments.com Private room for rent . Easy walk to mall, campus & movies. #2 bus nearby. $250/ mo. includes utilities, washer/dryer, high speed Internet. Parking available. No contract. Females only. Leave message 752-1932 for Rent $500 POUCE IMPOUNDS! Hondas, Chevy's,. Fords, Jeeps, Toyotas, etc! Cars, trucks, SUV's from $500! For listings 1-800-3669813 ext 9977. NEVADA HIRING GROUP Supervisors to provide supervision of youth committed to a staff-secure facility in Caliente. $32K to $35K DOE. Also hiring Counselors and RNs. Search fobs at defs.state.nv.us or call 775-72&S2OO. PRODUCTION / MAINTENANCE SUPERVISOR: Harborlite Corporation, a subsidiary of World Minerals Inc., has an immediate opening for an energetic, career-minded and team-oriented Production/Maintenance Supervisor tor its perlite mining & minerals processing plant In Milford, Utah. Reporting to the Plant Manager, this position is generally responsible (or supervising production and maintenance personnel in a non-union environment, promoting and maintaining good and preventabve maintenance/safety practices, and designing & Implementing troubleshooting mechanisms to minimize plant downtime. The ideal candidate will have a hands-on approach and experience in the following areas: Supervisory: 10+ years management expenence, supervising multiple production & maintenance personnel; demonstrable success in administering preventative maintenance and safety programs. Technical: 10+ years relevant maintenance experience; working knowledge with bulk conveying equipment, dryers, milling, air separation; maintaining power transmission components {electric motors, sheaves, v-belts, reducers) in a 480 volt, 3 ph environment; welding & torch cutting; computer literacy with MS Word & Excel; practical understanding of MSHA safety requirements. Education: At least an Associates degree in a relevant technical field; maintenance certifications. We offer an excellent compensation and benefits package Including both 401 (k) / retirement plans and relocation assistance. Salary DOE. No phone Inquiries or walk-ins please. To be considered for this position, send your resume, All engagement rings ON SALE! UTAH MANUFACTURER FOR 17 years Plus - All Steel Buildings!!! Any size you want, any accessories you want, or any features you want, www.cobuildings.net or call 1800-262-5347. CO Building Systems, Inc. Building a Reputation on 'Old Fashioned Integrity". ARE YOU MAKING $1,710 per week? All cash vending routes with prime locations available now! Under $9,000 investment required. Call Toll Free ALL CASH CANDY Route. Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own local candy route. Includes 30 machines and candy. All (or 59,995. 1-800-814-6047. Reg. $639,99 Sale $249,99 1/5 CT. Round Brilliant Diamond Solitaire mounted in either while or yellow gold WILSON MOTOR COMPANY FORD • LINCOLN • MERCURY • NISSAN K f Horth Main • Logan, UT • w*w.«tiMnmotof-lo9«v6Qm (435) 752-7355 • 1-800-594-8901 I LINCOLN Mercury $$CASH$$ IMMEDIATE CASH for structured settlements, annuities, law suit, mortgage notes and cash flows. J.G. Wentworth #1. 1-800-794-7310. OPEN FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS 12-7 $700 WEEKLY AT home! Taking easy surveys online! $25-S150/hour. Set your own hours! No experience necessary. Free training! Paid vacation. Fun job at home. Start new. www.top-dollars.com jEVVfLRY OUTLET 73 North Main Street • 750-NYJO ^(across from the Tabernacle)^/ which MUST include your salary history to: World Minerals Inc. Attention: Chris Bloyer 2500 Miguelilo Road Lompoc, CA 93436 Fax: 1-805-562-0245 e-mail: resume® woridminerals.com E.O.E. M/F/V/D mile, Generous fuel surcharge. No credit check. No forced dispatch. Zero down lease purchase. Call Kent 1-800-569-9229. DRIVER- DRIVE REGIONAL! Over-the-road lots of miles. Great company and benefits, www.pnme inc.com 1-800-771-6318. FEED DEALER WANTED: LOOMIX {R) feed supplements is seeking a local dealer. Motivated Individual with cattle knowledge and community ties. Flexible hours and supplemental income. Contact Connie @ 1-800383-3817 / ckJncheloe@loomlx. com. SOLDIERS WANTED FOR Utah Army National Guard. Paid Job training, adventure, 100% tuition assistance, and up to $15K in enlistment bonuses. For details: Contact SSG Matt Blake at (435) 797-6904 DRIVERS WANTED. COMPANY, 0/0, Teams, and Solos. 48 states, 3 years + experience, new equipment. Small and honest company. BILL LEFEVRE TRUCKING; INC. 1-801-746-3086. DRIVERS-SEE WHAT Andrus Transportation Is offering You! Earn national wages with a western states carrier. Safety bonus, mileage, driver referral bonus, paid detention, insurance benefits, 401K plan, per diem • More $ in your pocket, home regularly is a priority, growing company added two new facilities last year. Immediate openings. New easy scan systems for quicker pay, cutting edge technology, personal dispatch dedicated lanes available. Call recruiting today! 1-435-673-1566, 1-800-388-5838 x!402, & 101. Apply online www.andrustrans.com ENHANCE THE QUALITY of life for millions of people and yourself. Start a career at AOL! Make S30K-$40K 1st yearand receive full benefits on day 1. Call Liz # 1-801-622-7976.2261 Grant Avenue Ogden UT. OWNER OPERATORS / DRIVER - FFE Owner Operators needed with truck or without. $2,000 sign on bonus! Average $1.09/ kXrWord Puzzler ACROSS 1 Birch tree 6 Fool part 10 Trumpet muffler 14 Scandalous gossip 15 Dullsville denizen 16 Tel _ -Jaffa 17 Insensibility to pain 19 Feel vexation 20 More rundown 21 Tender young chicken 23 Lolty lookout 25 Bootlicker 26 Sheep appeals 29 Outlaws 32 Algoria neighbor 34 Jumped the tracks 38 Poem of exaltation 39 Noisy tool 42 Sailor's reply 43 Napoleon's final battle 43 Green-card holder 47 Strength 50 Swirl of water 51 Capital of Bulgaria 54 Backspace on a computer 56 Weld In movies 59 "Mourning Becomes _ " 63 Holy Roman emperor 64 Snake with hourglass markings 66 Picked from a lineup 67 Not a fable ' 66 Literary category 69 Secret lingo 70 Dog docs 71 German city DOWN 1 Partly open 2 Moon goddess 3 Count calories 4 Seventh heaven 5 Fix a loose ribbon 1 3 4 14 17 •• M O MM itibWM UKtla SwvtCH. he. AD rtghti morvod 6 Spain and Portugal 7 ID'S on jerseys 8 Baby bed 9 Now __ this! 10 Tho Godfather" mob 11 Soft palate part 12 Used a stopwatch 13 _ s o o ( l e n 18 Basil or rosemary 22 NHL Senators 24 Gridiron terminus 26 Be windy 27 Verdi opera 26 Help a cohort 30 _ Plaines, IL 31 Pers. pension 33 Overseas 35 Put down 36 Checked out 37 Repudiate 40 Farthest, briefly 41 Ws.Caldwell 44 Occurrence 03/1B/QG Solutions N 3 s S 3HS 3 d N ola Q V 3 H a [aid 46 48 49 51 52 53 55 Bloodsuckers _ suzetles Lock maker Zeno follower Surpass Entertained Twilled fabric 1 3 AH? nd do Q 0 0 3 a i X i 0 57 Last part ol "Hamlet" 58 Yesloryear 60 Hamilton bills 61 Not common 62 Port of Yemen 65 Stay _ l |