OCR Text |
Show [AggelWThe Utah Statesi If it flies, then it dies Mixing work and home Fly swatting should be a new Olympic sport. I have always loved watching the Olympics, "T^^^^TT^^™ but recently I've realized Ganett Wheeler that the whole event lacks something useful. Every two years, we watch amazing athletes perform feats of brilliance that Dorito-eating, soda-sipping people like me could never do — at Chew on least not while basking in this recliner. this As neat as those events are, they really serve no constructive purpose. So what if I can hurl my body 20 feet over a pole, dangle from rings or perform a quadruple salchow (whatever that is)? Pest elimination is the new, useful direction international sporting events need to go. The common housefly, scientifically known in Latin as musca domestica, or scientifically known in English as "shoo, don't bother me," must lead a horrible life. Think about it. Flies are subjected all their lives to atrocious living conditions. They are literally born in piles of crap and spend the rest of their lives looking for more crap. The only interruptions in their crappy search are humans who oddly do something resembling rhythmic gymnastics in their attempt to destroy them. I'm not sure about y'all, but 1 could do with a few less of these pests in my life. I'm still trying to understand why my workplace seems to attract so many of the pesky critters. Sure the office is frequently open to the outside, but that doesn't mean flies need to go out of their way to annoy ME - but apparently, they don't understand this. So I swat them. I attempt to smush them with flyswatters, books, shoes, m y hands and occasionally my best friend's laptop, but nothing seems to work. Recently the flies have gotten more daring and bold. They land on my open hand, taunting me, laughing in their little fly voices "Nyah, nyah, I just sat on a pile of dog poop!" I have eradicated a few bugs, but am still worried by an ongoing theory that for every fly you kill, three more materialize in its place. It's like a bad dream I had, only in the dream I was trying to kill Richard Simmons. Shudder. I read somewhere on the Internet (so it must be true) that a if a single pair of flies mated in April and all of their progenitors lived, there would be more than 191 quintillion flies by August. EEPIThis is why we need the strongest, orightest and moil athletic people in the world helping to control the pest population. The new sport of fly swatting would involve several aspects of insect removal, including the simplest: Body Parts Restricted. Olympians in this event would not be allowed to use inanimate objects as aids in killing flies. Most people will simply use their hands, but I wager that eventually some weird guy will run around trying to suck bugs up his nose. The next category, Standard Swatting Assist, allows participants to only use regular cheap fly swatters. Yeah, like the ones grandmas use to keep you in line. One of the most exciting events in fly swatting is the Powered Swatting Assist. Competitors are allowed to use devices like those really neat electronic rackets that zap bugs into oblivion. Powered swatters, found at places like www.mosquito-zapper.com, look a little like small badminton rackets but have steel electric strings that make fun pops and flashes upon bug contact. The last event is the Open Format, where athletes can use whatever they dang well please to get rid of flies. Well, not anything. Rules, of course, prohibit the use of some objects like professional pesticides, small nuclear explosions, washing machines or your rival's elbows. Absolute experts, of course, always use chopsticks in this event. I hope my idea will ignite in the hearts of the International Olympic Committee and a new sport will soon be born. If not, I'll just find them and give them a wallop with my best friend's laptop. That'll show them! Carrett Wheeler is a second bachelor's student in technical theatre design. Send any comments or column ideas to wheel@cc.usu.edu. This is the second of a two-part series on married professor couples at USU. BY BRITTANY NELSON Staff Writer Many professors at Utah State University share a relationship of more than just co-workers. Jan and Freeman King, are not only married, but have both taught in the same department for fourteen years. In the field of deaf education, Jan and Freeman find themselves working together with everything. Jan said ever since they have been together, they have talked about deaf education. She said their common interests have really helped their marriage and she thinks it is important to not follow typical marriage myths. "Freeman and I have everything in common," Jan said. "For us, it's a key part of our relationship." The Kings teach the same classes, have the same sign language philosophy and teach the same students. Jan said while she and her husband like to tease students, there is no competition with one another and they learn many things from each other and respect each other professionally. "I've learned a lot of how I teach from him," Jan said. Jan and Freeman both have similar stories about being introduced to the deaf community. Freeman was introduced to sign language while teaching a young boy gymnastics. He then learned the language just by associating with the adult deaf community and eventually got his master's in deaf education. Jan took a sign language class her senior year of college and then ended up living at the Austin School for the Deaf during her student teaching. She eventually got her master's in deaf education as well. Both had no prior intentions of being involved with the deaf community. ,"My whole life changed my senior year," Jan said. "You never know how the pieces of the puzzle are going to fit together in the end." Freeman and Jan met in i Texas at Lamar University. 1 Freeman was a supervisor of J student teachers and Jan was a; student teacher. They got married on the '< Southern Mississippi campus ! in a small chapel and drove ] straight to Logan afterwards, j While Freeman taught at • his current position at USU, ! Jan taught sign language at j Preston High School until a j position opened at USU. They! have been here for 14 years, j The Kings have two daugh-' ters that Jan said "practically ! live at Utah State." • "They can communicate ; with the deaf students and ; know them very well," Jan • said. i Jan said the department i really values family and they ] have become like a big family \ themselves. j The Kings are very involve4 with student organizations ; and Jan said they have students over to their house i often. i "Our lives are about the ! • KINGS see page 7 mmBm£. Fashion, 4 YOU • JAN AND FREEMAN KING have worked at Utah State University for 14 years. Both work in the deaf education department and are involved with varfT (Clothing SL Shoes) ous student organizations on campus. ALL SHOES ARE BUY ONE QET ONE FREE! WOMEN'S MEN'S SILVER Y.M.I DICKEY'S PLASTIC SOLO l r LWCKY'S BY RICK BARRETT KRT LOW RIDER BEN DAVIS 848 N. MAIN • LOQAN • 787-8115 Student Special Fall $49.95 "ir Maintenance Special $19.95 Service Oil Change • Oil change with filter and • Battery • Flush Cooling System sot lo antifreeze 40" • Starter • Belts • Hoses • Wiper Blades * Defrost • Service Battery • Tire Pressure • Drive Axles & C.V. E3oots • Headlights/ Clearance Lighls premium products Kluld check and fluid till 22 point maintenance cheek Braking system (front & back) Tire ft suspension Inspection Cheek battery starter $29.95 Maitenance Special Check steering Check suspension Cheek tire pressure Diagnostics Some restrictions apply With student ID Oil change wlLh "Full Service Oil Change" "Past. Friendly, Service" "Fast. Friendly, Service" 787-Q458 "ir Fun "Fast, Friendly, Service" 5 8 1/2 W . 4 0 0 N . (Behind Washington Federal Savings) Please show Student ID • Mon- Fri 8am- 6pm • Sat 9 am- Noon I JESUj'CHRJST A bicycle built for you In the early 1900s, Henry Ford once said that consumers could have any color of the Model T car, "so long as it's black." Ford's assembly lines cranked out thousands of all-black cars simply and cheaply, but anything else was too expensive to produce. Now, with advanced manufacturing technology, highly customized products are within reach of consumers for a few dollars more than standard, off-the-shelf versions. Waterloo-based Trek Bicycle Corp., for example, has a Project One program that lets cyclists pick colors and parts for the company's most expensive road and mountain bikes. For about $7,000, anyone can get almost the same bike that Lance Armstrong rode in his seven Tour de France victories. "People want the bike that Lance rode. It's a huge thing with them," said Tom Kuefler, Project One director. A customer could spend even more on a Project One bike, up to $10,000 for a cycle that has the most expensive components that Trek offers— such as carbon fiber wheels. The trend of ordering standard products with a different twist has been called mass customization. Nike, for example, allows consumers to choose colors for various parts of a running shoe, including the laces — using color charts and a shoe customizing program on its Web site. Dell Computer was founded on mass customization, allowing Internet shoppers to pick and choose among dozens of parts and accessories — and to see the price change as they design their own system. Trek, the largest U.S. bicycle manufacturer, has built its marketing campaign almost exclusively around Armstrong, who gained instant fame in 1999 after winning the Tour de France after a comeback from cancer. Armstrong has signed a lifetime deal with Trek to help develop the company's road bike line. I Register "There's one guy in the equation. If he never :: came along, if he didn't ride the bike, none of us would be here today," Trek President John Burke was quoted by the company as saying at a recent, bicycle dealer convention in Madison, Wis. Trek created Project One about five years ago to compete with boutique bicycle compa- • nies that were nibbling away at Trek's high-end product sales. Through custom paint schemes ~\ and unique parts, Project One bicycles stand out from other Treks, as well as the competition. "If you go on club rides, you will see that a lot of the bikes are the same," Kuefler said. "We hope that Project One turns the tide a little bit." Trek sold about 3,000 Project One bikes last year, which is barely a link in the chain com- \ pared with sales of less expensive street and j mountain bikes. But it's more than Trek origi- • nally envisioned, and the long-term goal is to sell about 9,000 Project One bicycles a year. Going through the virtual build process at the Project One Web site is easy. Shoppers start by selecting a bike frame, such as the carbon fiber model that Armstrong rides, i and jazzing it up with one of about 20 color ; : j schemes — including a black-and-white "spotted cow" option. •: Next, they can choose from various type fonts to have their name or a short message painted I* on the frame. •* Step three: Select from a wide range of bike *-Z wheels, shifters, handlebars, seats and other ^ components to complete the customization. Tafcs the completed order to a Trek dealer for pricing" and wait about six weeks while the bike is made. All Project One bikes are built and painted by hand, one at a time. The work is delegated to a small group of Trek employees who also build the company's show bikes, which are used for. "• advertising photo sessions. 'f] "They are bike enthusiasts themselves and are: very persnickety about their work," Kuefler said*; • BIKES see page 7 •:•-• |