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Show Thursday, January 11,2007 THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE BELLAMY PICKS HIS WORST OF 2006 this idiotic. Couldn't studios hire a script doctor who specializes in logic and common sense, just to make sure nonsensical crap like this doesn't t h o u g h make it to theaters? Is it that they're basically continued from Page 4 much to ask? on the exact same In one scene of "Firewall," side of this particular obvious political critique that makes Sean Hannity seem the bad guys have kidnapped debate. The more you think Harrison Ford's entire family. about "The Last Stand," the sensible by comparison. How does he find out where more holes you can find in the they are? By using the tracking plot. 6. "The Last Kiss" But at least they killed off Every moment, every sec- device on the family dog's collar—you read that right. The Cyclops. ond, every contrivance of "The c,bellamy@ Last Kiss" was infuriating. In bad guys not only kidnapped chronicle.utah.edu its mopey, self-aware exami- the family, but the dog as well. nation of "growing up," the And the dog just to film (a remake of a 2002 Italian happened movie) features an entire cast have a tracking of half-developed characters device on him. that and half-baked sub-plots, and Because makes perfect culminates in a "dramatic finale" that is excruciating in its sense. phony contrivance. 10. "Winter Passing" 7. "The Groomsmen" Looking for a Someone needs to tell Edward Burns to stop directing movie with charmovies. And stop writing in acters that don't general. Really. Just stop, Ed. make any sense? Like the Zach Braff-starrer we Bad symbolism? just discussed, "The Grooms- An embarrassingmen" is also about the time- ly one-note perhonored tradition of immature formance by Ed men deciding whether or not Harris? Then this they want to actually grow up. is your ticket! Why In telling a story of a group didn't this ,go diof old friends who re-unite rect to video again? for one guy's wedding, Burns Does anyone have doesn't waste a single hack- an answer for me? neyed cliche. Yes, there's even the sub-plot about "getting the 11. "X-Men: The band back together." No, I'm Last Stand" not kidding. After two strong films from Bryan Singer, Brett Ratner took over the 8. "The Pink Panther" Steve Martin is not even a X-Men franchise and shot it to hell. How did he accomplish pimple on Peter Sellers' ass. this? By adding approximately 9. "The Sentinel," "Fire- 400 new characters and giving them exactly one scene each. wall" Michael Douglas and Hard-, By setting up a good vs. bad son Ford return to the types of conflict that made absolutely roles that made them famous, no sense, but which set up an and as it turns out, you can't go action-packed third act behome again. At least not when cause...well, the good guys and the scripts and characters are bad guys have to fight each oth- "The Last Kiss" "The Pink Panther" "An American Haunting" Park City Performing Arts Foundation ' * ' " Vi ^^-jgv along with ^^S . IdeaSphere" inc. presents East Villa death her .:; j' - - : Saturday, IRIf ' oAriadne aufoJ^axos By Richard Strauss January J_J - 21 A MYTHIC TALE OF NYMPHS, GODS, AND A POUTY PRINCESS TICKETS $10 AND UP. CALL 355-ARTS (2787). I: • ' T h i s New York ^o ;;. band deftly fuses rock C-'' and opera, delivering ,- ; u p with guitar and ;<£•" .techno." /": -EntertomTTientWeeWy' THANKS TO IIIC CCORCE S AND POLORC5 DORt OICLIIS TOVMPATIOH Tickets start at $18 2*for*l student tickets with ID' The Chronicle is hiring a e © o o o o o e o © e © •/» © o « 9 e tier E-mail Kendra at Must know Adobe InDesign. k.horn@chronicle.utah.edu George S. *SL Dolores Dore ' ECCLES CENTER for tlic Performing Arts Si>onsorcJ by Gary&JanaCple-ColeSport 1750 Keanis Blvd., Park City Haiis & Sally Furai - Grub Stcaklteiaurant Dena Fleming- E&rVallc>;RealEsCitc.com Rick & Carmen Rogers David &JcAnii Kicijcsld Donna &. Harlan Gartlincr f (adjacent to Park City High School) '* ciry- ±^~ ,.,...«-,„„ , - SUMMIT--. 43S655-3114 wwvvParkCityTickets.com • *2-{or-1 lickcis available only by . •••-, , calling Box Office . - |