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Show ARTS&ENTERTAINMSNI Thursday, January 11,2007 Page 4 The worst films of RTS Thursday,Jan. I I Art exhibit • U Art Faculty Exhibition Free for faculty, staff and students; regular admission is $5 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Utah Museum of Fine Arts Comedy • Comedian: Buzz Sutherland Free 7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. Fort Douglas, Post Theater {245 S. Fort Douglas Blvd., Bldg 636) Theater Ariadne auf Naxos $ 12 to $62 7:30 p.m. Capitol Theatre (50 W 200 South) • Eight Songs For A Mad King $12 to $62 7:30 p.m. Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South) Concert My Morning Jacket $20 in advance/ $22 at the door 9 p.m. The Depot (13 N. 400 West) Chamsaws, pirates^and vampires^ oh my! Aaron Allen The Daily Utah Chmntfle he most telfible year in years? Here are the films that didn't make the grade as the closing credits rolled, "So much for subtlety." Irwin Winkler's "Home of the Brave" is meant to be an examination of the effects of the Iraq War on American soldiers, but it regresses into such silly melodrama that I wound up, unfortunately, laughing at these American soldiers—and at the same time feeling pity for the actors involved. Think "The Deer Hunter" if it had been made by the Disney Channel. Chris Bellamy The Daily Utah Oik There weren't nearly.-as many train wrecks this year as some of the past few years, though that's not to say it was'a good year for movies—it wasn't. It was, in fact, ah uncommonly average year. It seemedJike everything was hovering somewhere in the realm of medibcrity. There were no disasters 6'n the level of "Alexander" or "The Village"—but in terms of quantity, 2006 was as bad as it gets. \ ;1. Three of the worst moYie,s I've ever seen: "Ultraviolet," "BloodRayne," "Date Movie" •'. : There are times when one regrets the decision to review movies for money—because sometimes you're forced to see movies like these. Of the three, I can't think of a single good thing to say about any of them. Kurt Wimmer, Uwe Boll and Aaron Seltzer, respectively, should all be arrested. ;2. "Basic Instinct 2" ;Its distinguished place in popculture history notwithstanding, the original "Basic Instinct" wasn't a very good movie to be- eo? Lame. gin with. But this unnecessary sequel—which came out long 3. Bad. horror movies: "Silent after everyone had forgotten or Hill," "An American Haunting," disregarded the original—is the "Saw HI" worst sequel since "Charlie's Every year we're subjected to Angels: Full Throttle." It's not a glut of bad horror movies that campy good—it's campy bad. It 'keep getting made because they goes way beyond unintentional have a built-in audience—and comedy and becomes so embar- every year I end up seeing them. rassingly bad and overwrpiight, I'll make it a New Year's resoluyou can't even laugh at-lt—you tion to avoid them in 2007. just have to. grinland bear it..or just walk out of the theater. 4. "Home of the Brave" And no Michael Douglas camAs a fellow film critic remarked We movie critics afe accused of many things—being/out of touch with mainstream Amprica, having sticks shoved up our posteriors, lighting up the theater with our little glowing pens—butTOOStoften we're accused of having a really awesome job. In response, the common movie critic says something like, "Oh, but we have to suffer through 10 crappy movies for every one great movie," in a tone that suggests our job really isn't as awesome as you think. Did we fool you? Because we just say that to make you feel better about your lousy, nine-to-five desk job. Being a movie critic rocks—and writing about truly bad movies is more fun than watching a bear ride a motorcycle. And we love watching bears ride motorcycles. 1. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" Guess how Leatherface came into possession of his infamous chainsaw? See A L L E N Page 8 5. "Dear Wendy," "Manderlay" There was a time when I thought Lars von Trier had something to say. That time has passed. On the heels of the mind-numbingly unintelligent "Dogville" came "Manderlay, "the second of his "USA: Land of Opportunity" trilogy. Do you get it? Land of opportunity? Do you see the irony there? Isn't it clever? And then there was "Dear Wendy," directed by Thomas Vinterberg but penned by von Trier. Like "Dogville," both of these 2006 entries feature the kind of shallow, ignorant, over- SeeBELLAMY Page5 "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" |